u/givepeacex

Hi everyone..

My hsuband has been going to massage parlours for over two years, almost once a month. Sometimes it was twice a month.

Everytime he says he is done, he is kind and normal then by week three or four he gets full of rage, takes it out on me then goes back and then is normal again.

He swears all he has ever done for two years is body on body naked and handjobs... Do you really think this is true? Also the money has always been different in spending plus different parlours.

I really would like to hear from other woman that have been through the same thing and what ended up being the truth for them? Does it sound like it is just handjobs.

He also did say that a year ago "she tried to put the condom on me it didn't work so she put one in herself" and when I questioned why she would need one if it was just a handjob he said she just wanted to protect herself.

He SWEARS he is telling the truth.

Also he says he is NOT a sex addict. What am I dealing with here 😩💔💔

I’m married with a 4 year old and things have escalated.

Recently my husband got angry while I was driving and punched and cracked the windscreen. He often calls me names, blames me, and has made comments like “you don’t know what someone could do if they snap,” which scared me.

He’s also been going to massage parlours, and his behaviour seems to get worse around that. I told him I’d only stay if he gets help (therapy or a clinic), but he refuses.

He is calm after going then as weeks go by he becomes aggressive/abusive untill he goes again.

We’re supposed to move into a new place, but it’s in his dad’s name. I don’t really have anywhere else to go right now.

He doesn’t want me to tell his parents what’s been happening and has threatened me if I go against him.

My question is:

Should I tell his parents the truth about everything (the anger, the car, the threats), especially since the house is in his dad’s name? Or will that make things worse for me?

I feel scared, stuck, and guilty, and I don’t know the safest way forward.

This is how my boundary with escorts went.

How does one even reason with this? He just doesn't even understand at all the pain it has caused me and the utter disgust when I think of him and the other woman together doing that.

( Addicted to massage parlours happy endings, one on one naked)

Hubby: And really wow if I had the opportunity to go for a massage once a month without the hassle you make in it, wouldn't it be so much easier

\[5/4, 1:50 PM\] me: Stop saying massage

\[5/4, 1:50 PM\] me: It's not that

\[5/4, 1:51 PM\] me: It's an actual insult to qualified massage therapists

\[5/4, 1:51 PM\] me: Say, Prostitute cos that's what it is

\[5/4, 1:55 PM\] hubby: Call it a relaxtion massage then

\[5/4, 1:55 PM\] me: No it's a cum massage.

\[5/4, 1:55 PM\] Hubby: No one is trying insult masseuses here, its just a different kind

\[5/4, 1:55 PM\] Hubby: Don't get so hung up on it.

Out of all the cum that happens with you, once a month at a massage is nothing

\[5/4, 1:56 PM\] me: Don't act like it's some innocent massages cos it's not

\[5/4, 2:01 PM\] hubby: Never said that

\[5/4, 2:01 PM\] hubby: Its just a sensual massage

And thus point I'm starting to 100% believe something is seriously wrong here, the lack of empathy, everything.

Please ladies am I going crazy, I listened to a voice recorded conversation between my husband and I from a year ago and he said

" She tried to put a condom on me but it didn't work so she put on inside of herself"

But it was for a body slide Happy ending massage, but he Swears they didn't have sex.

This is a lie right??? Would she PUT A CONDOM INSIDE HERSELF FOR NOTHING?

Omg.

I am shaking.

Hello everyone.

I posted here yesterday about something that happend ( see post history)

Today we went to the beach and our child started whining ( in a bratty way he says) because he didn't want to walk on the seashells so my husband grabbed my hand and wouldn't let it go and pulled me to walk away from our kid and said he needs to get over himself he is being a spinless shit.

I eventually pulled my hand away and went to hold my son's hand and said let's just walk and he kept whining about the seashells so I said let's turn around and walk on the soft sand rather cos clearly he hates shells.

My husband started getting pissed off, said I'm gonna raise an utter pathetic brat, said that he wants to disown his son, said that he is spinless. ( He is fucking 4)

Then once we got into the car ( thank the Lord I was driving)

He started shouting as I'm driving home, hit the dashboard as well, then he punched the windscreen and it shattered. I started crying while trying to carry on driving and told him he can't just break this car I pay alot for every month.

And he kept going off at me at what a failure I am and how much debt I'm in and I should just give up.

Everytime he tried to explain what he hates/ is angry about he punched the dashboard.

I have no idea where this is all coming from again, I thought it was getting better.

He said he forgot to take his meds for two days but SURELY it can't be that?

Am I to blame in this situation?

I'm going to his dad tomorrow to try talk but they usually turn it into me as well.

I have a photo of the screen damage on my post history.

I am at a loss as to staying or going because I'm so trauma bonded to this guy but I know I need to do the right thing

I have so much fear

He also said atleast it wasn't me, so he is getting better, where his words.

We are also about to move to a new place and I am going to ask his dad if he can go into inpatient treatment for some weeks cos he clearly needs help,but when I brought it up to my hsuband he said he refuses therapy or help because it "will not help me" he said.

And he said he wouldn't do it if I'd just listen to him about things in the house etc .

I'm also so scared to leave because he said "I might just snap and find you, if you take everything away from someone you never know what they could do to you"

Hi everyone

I posted yesterday asking about if it's me being too controlling to say no to clubbing when my husband has a history of cheating plus the last time he went to a massage parlour was a month ago.

Also he went onto meds to supposedly help the abuse/rage about 6 weeks ago and it doesn't seem to be working .

He still went.

Not only that, today I felt the most fear I have felt in a while.

We were at the gym and he wanted to see my workout routine and I showed him then he tried to take my phone ( I didn't want him to see it cos I have been having very personal conversations about him to a close friend and how he is treating me)

So I tried to take it back and he didn't allow it, eventually he threw my phone across the gym and started swearing at me, he got into my face and swore/screamed at me.

He then left and I left and he had started driving away and I had forgotten my bag cos during that moment I was so scared, I then asked him to please open the gym for me ( he has finger access)

He fought that too, then eventually got out the car whilst calling me a pathetic bitch who's head Is loose.

Then in the car he texts his mom and says " we are leaving the gym coming to fetch our son cos she's spineless and I can't stand it"

Then in the car he starts speeding, I keep saying please drive carefully I pay for this car, he doesn't care.

He carries on swearing at me while I'm crying and sinking lower and lower into the seat because I'm so embarrassed at every red light at how he is shouting and I'm crying.

He then speeds up and starts laughing like luntaic and puts the breaks on at the last minute before we would bash into another car.

He also kept punching/slamming the car steering wheel/dashboard whenever he kept talking and getting angrier and angrier.

Eventually we get to his mom's and he goes in before me, as I walk inside he is starting at me with a face full of rage and these dark eyes, literally he wouldn't take his eyes off of me. I felt so uncomfortable.

I just take my son and say let's go then my hsuband says "you need to get your SHIT in order"..

His mom says don't speak like that.

He starts going off about me and mistakes I have made, I didn't hear what he said cos I quickly left took our child and drove away.

He gets home a few hrs later and acts as if nothing happened.

He then goes out to the club and is there now.

I'm at a loss on what to do.

I feel so bonded to him when it's over but in that moment today I was 1000% terrifed.

We are supposed to move to a new lease at the end of this month and I have no extra money to go anywhere else so I'm not sure what I can actually do.

My hsuband cheated in the past

Suddenly out of nowhere he is obsessed with gym, started listening to music he never listens to and sings along to it ( never did that before)

Started talking about wanting to start smoking and a recent 2GB hotspot sharing saying it was for the work phone update.

I feel completely uneasy, I'm trying not to have a panic attack my entire gut is screaming.

We're about to move into a new place with a new lease and I'm shaking wondering if I should up everything and leave to go stay at my mom's.

My husband has only been sober for a month from the massage parlour and the last time he went to a club over a year ago he got a girls number then slept with her a week after that.

His friends are coming down from another country and want him to go clubbing with them (they're single)

And I feel SO uncomfortable like it's almost a deal breaker to me :(

When I try explain why I'm uncomfortable with it he says I'm to sensitive and need to get over the past.