u/flexwaterjuice

I keep coming across Instagram videos where men walk up to women in public places like streets, supermarkets or shopping centres and start a conversation. Quite often they end up exchanging numbers, and it looks like there’s genuine interest on both sides. I’m curious if anyone here has actually had a relationship come out of being cold-approached in places like streets, supermarkets or shopping centres... . I mean where a man just approaches you, says you’re attractive, or opens with something light, chats for a few minutes, and then you give your contact details. Watching these clips, I keep wondering what those people have in common, and whether a real connection can actually start that way. My instinct is that it would probably take a lot more effort from one person to turn that into something real, but I might be off.

I keep coming across Instagram videos where men walk up to women in public places like streets, supermarkets or shopping centres and start a conversation. Quite often they end up exchanging numbers, and it looks like there’s genuine interest on both sides. I’m curious if anyone here has actually had a relationship come out of being cold-approached in places like streets, supermarkets or shopping centres... . I mean where a man just approaches you, says you’re attractive, or opens with something light, chats for a few minutes, and then you give your contact details. Watching these clips, I keep wondering what those people have in common, and whether a real connection can actually start that way. My instinct is that it would probably take a lot more effort from one person to turn that into something real, but I might be off.

Someone I cared about went through a recent SA experience. Some time later, there was an interaction between us that seems to have triggered her quite strongly. From my perspective, there was no intention to cause harm and from my perspective, what happened was small, but I understand it may not have felt small to her, but she felt unsafe afterwards and chose to cut contact.

A few months have passed, and I’m trying to understand this better while still respecting her boundaries. I’m not asking how to contact her or change her mind. I just want to understand the experience more clearly.

For those who are comfortable sharing, have you ever placed someone in an “unsafe” category because of a trauma trigger, and later realised they were not actually dangerous?

If so, what helped that shift happen? Was it time, therapy, distance, observing consistent behaviour, or something else?

And if your view didn’t change, I’d value hearing that as well.

I’m trying to understand trauma more thoughtfully and take responsibility for my part, without making assumptions about hers.

Someone I cared about went through a recent SA experience. Some time later, there was an interaction between us that seems to have triggered her quite strongly. From my perspective, there was no intention to cause harm and from my perspective, what happened was small, but I understand it may not have felt small to her, but she felt unsafe afterwards and chose to cut contact.

A few months have passed, and I’m trying to understand this better while still respecting her boundaries. I’m not asking how to contact her or change her mind. I just want to understand the experience more clearly.

For those who are comfortable sharing, have you ever placed someone in an “unsafe” category because of a trauma trigger, and later realised they were not actually dangerous?

If so, what helped that shift happen? Was it time, therapy, distance, observing consistent behaviour, or something else?

And if your view didn’t change, I’d value hearing that as well.

I’m trying to understand trauma more thoughtfully and take responsibility for my part, without making assumptions about hers.