u/bisceau

As worthless we are deemed by others, some men will still want to extract resources from us sliding into dms, using us as therapists, attention, stalking this sub to jerk off. We aren't romantically desirable but our energy is wanted, we are disrespected and stolen from. Wanted as punching bags or background assets to highlight others.

Because they live in this void, in order to cope they need to believe EVERYTHING in the world is made to serve them. Women have to be made for me (make my junk hard). Objectify women because men themselves don't relate to the human experience, project that onto women to cope. Men will use you to maladaptive daydream. Around you, they talk louder with their boyfriends, cough, clear throat, fart, stomp. Men live in a void, and need this audience to prove their existence is real. They are the void, see who are destroying the planet? Didn't start with women.

Non femcels are wanted in the role of a "girlfriend", get paid from the relationship with reciprocated attention/romance from the male. Then he wants to merge himself with the girl/woman because, still, he doesn't exist. Their dicks will never help them ground themselves onto reality like they believe. Reliant on their dick to assess reality, what doesn't give him a boner must be destroyed. Never having developed a heart or the mind, no amount of violence or intensity of an orgasm will make them feel alive. Men are dead, so they kill.

I have youth privilege. But even slimy older men expect some petite blonde of someone my age than a chungus with melting face. They ask for height and weight before hookup, and hair colour. Most women my age here are bright blonde, petite, small faces. If I were lucky I could get dick in a car and he cheats on his wife, they all always have wives. I'm not down for helping him emotionally abuse his wife.

It's not even solely about dating even though limerence keeps me alive. My daydreams distort the reflection on the mirror but if I see it clearly I'll have to rethink what to live for. There's nothing, when you're ugly, and on top of that, dumb, female. I'll never have a boyfriend, fun. My family too treats me like shit. I exist there to make my siblings look good. I can't lose weight but I don't want my corpse to be fat. Or I don't want to survive and be fat. I could exist as an ugly female if I didn't get tortured for it. It's not about self love or learning to accept your looks when your looks endanger you.

I could be anywhere on social media and on unrelated posts there are people talking about olanzapine, Zoloft and Seroquel. Why always announce it. Especially young people do this. Or memeing about them. Are they just convincing themselves this stuff is worth taking and waiting for others to confirm it. Or is it a badge of suffering.

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I was dreading these sessions so much I'd lose sleep. I lost all confidence over my decisions and I was suicidal. I feel like I failed by quitting and could've turned my life around had I stayed. I slept all days when I attended therapy. The pain alleviated once I quit, but I have to admit I liked her a little. She was the only person I spoke to. I don't remember much from the sessions even though we saw twice a week.

I feel that being analyzed head to toe for my deficits ruined my self concept and I've just sabotaged myself. Stopped trying socially entirely. Because people will be repelled by you. Diagnosis confirmed my worst fears about that. I was constantly learning and improving a few years ago before being diagnosed with all this stuff. They said I'm paranoid for saying people see something in me but proceed to write 10 pages about what is wrong with me, stuff I never noticed.

My talent for visual and creative things being attributed to a disorder ruined it for me by a little. It diminishes the hard work I put into into it since little. It's like they took ownership of my identity. You'll never convince me the term "special interest" stands for something positive. It's almost like these soulless people attribute it to some disability because of envy, "being so good at something is part of having this mutation", not seeing it through equal or positive lens. But a medical abnormality.

Aspergers diagnosis kind of has made me believe I cannot improve socially to the point I would be able to make friends or get a job. I always had struggles but I liked to believe in myself.

Stopped puking a long time ago but I had continued to do fasts for weight maintenance. I absolutely love fasting but it was my excuse to binge. I stopped that completely and now I've eaten 2000~4000 calories each day. I have not lost weight, probably gained. I lost 90% of the food noise. My binges before were 4000~10 000 calories. Am I going in the right direction. Each day I will try to eat fewer calories, until I am in a slight decifit. I'm wondering if I'm doing this for nothing. It's overeating rather than binging now. I'm not eating till I can't move but I'm eating past fullness.

Bipolar has to be the worst one for losing trust in yourself. Constantly vigilant of the future for potential episodes. Watching out for warning signs all your life. Extreme misery. Everything you feel and do is a symptom and you will never address the reasons behind your mood changes. Sure mania is a real state. It does sound like most of them are more afraid of the psychiatric implications, pathology, than the harm done. Some track their moods and shit.

Life gets so much better when you stop believing in mental disease. "But my mental diagnosis makes me dysfunctional and I feel so much better on medication" When your emotions do not benefit you in relation to others, you drug them away. What does that teach you?