Gonna keep it short. Temporarily homeless, on the streets, I’m in my early/mid 20’s and F. I’m in Long Beach and just wanna know any spots that I can rest that are safe? The metro is closed at the moment, I have three hours until I can get on that. So until then, im wondering where I can sleep or get some okay rest at an okay spot in Long Beach until around 4am daily.
Hey, I recently worked my DUI case down to a wet reckless and had to enroll in a 3 month DUI class by tomorrow. Luckily I got my booking done in time. However, I lost my housing the same day my plea/case was finalized and I’ve been struggling with homelessness and a loss of income cause I’m recently unemployed. So I lowkey forgot to enroll by the 21 day period. I plan on going to the court first thing in the morning to try and talk to the clerk and see if I can get a re-referral from the judge. Also, I didn’t get a referral the first time?! I’m not sure why, maybe a miscommunication on my part or my lawyer’s part. Anyway, just want to know how screwed I am?! I just got a job as of today and I also found housing that can be available to me on June 1st so I’ll be able to enroll and pay for it all and focus on attending classes, but I just want to know how badly this will impact my probation or my case and also if you think it’s likely for me to get an extension or re-referral tomorrow if I show up to court early?! I’m first time offender, DUI worked down to wet reckless
EDIT: update, it was fine. I walked in, told them it was my 21st day to enroll and that I hadn’t had time. They got me a new referral super quick, now I have an extra 21 days to enroll. Didn’t even have to see the judge! All is well.
I won’t get into the crazy details…but long story short;
-I’m unemployed (since January).
-Just got a criminal record, a misdemeanor for drinking and driving (I know, stupid.) so it’ll probably be harder for me to secure good jobs.
-I’m homeless as of tomorrow. (I’ll be couch hopping with a friend for now, not sure how long).
-I just got in a breakup with my favorite person ever. We currently live together until tomorrow, cause our landlord is (unofficially) evicting us. We aren’t going through court but they’re kicking us out. And to make matters worse, the breakup was completely my fault cause I did some fucked up shit I regret but can’t take back.
It’s been really hard going through all of this. The small amount of friends I have are honestly very busy and I don’t think they have the time/capacity to handle me right now. I’m an artist but pushing myself to do any sort of passions has been so hard, so I haven’t been utilizing my outlets. Even listening to music, my favorite thing of all time, has been hard. I’ve been searching for jobs and doing job interviews, I’ve slowly but surely started looking for therapists, and once I’m in a position to find housing again I’ll do that immediately. But what hurts the most is having to spend these last two days in this apartment with my ex while being so distant. I miss them desperately but I fucked up sooo bad that I know after this, we won’t be talking. It’s so hard. It’s so hard not being close anymore and we’ve been sleeping in separate rooms for the past month. They’re my favorite person to spend time with and it’s so hard feeling this depressed and unmotivated about the general state of my life without being able to be with them through it all. If we were still together and I was going through this, I know it would be so much easier. They felt like the most stabilizing force in my life.
All the usual stuff sounds so daunting. Watching a movie, listening to music, meeting a new friend, it all sounds so hard and depressing. Especially when I’d rather be doing it with my ex. I’ve taken myself on a lot of walks but I’m just so overwhelmed. I tried to call a couple family members but my family is so dysfunctional and wrapped up in their own worlds that they can be kind of dismissive or have a lack of patience with me, even in such a situation.
I just feel really alone. And I don’t know what to do with myself. If I had a shit ton of savings, I’d probably check myself into an inpatient or rehab or something. Something where I could just disappear for a little and really just fix myself. That’s how bad it is. I feel so hopeless and like I’m just ready to surrender myself. This is the worst my life has ever been and the worst my mental state has ever been and I’m sitting in a huge pile of regret and fear and depression. Doing most things overwhelms me. If anyone has any advice for how to pick myself up, please send it my way. Or even just kind words or something. Cause I just want to disappear. Everything feels like too much.
Hey all, this is something I’ve been struggling with for a really long time; wondering if I’m a narcissist or just severely traumatized. I know CPTSD can have lots of overlapping symptoms for mannnnyy disorders across the entire spectrum. So I’m just looking for some feedback.
I’m almost 25 now, but ever since I was about 18 or 19, I’ve been terrified if I’m a narcissist. Mainly because I know it’s not curable and it terrifies me to think I could be stuck with such low empathy forever.
What makes me think I could be is the fact I was raised by a narcissist…maybe even a couple. So of course their traits rubbed off on my psyche and I’ve had to shed some of their beliefs over time. But also the fact that I serial cheated on my last partner…I do feel terrible about it and regretful but while I was doing it, I was able to compartmentalize so well that I lied, gaslit, and kept doing it over and over. And my performance was a damn good one cause my partner keeps saying they never in a million years would’ve guessed it. Which is lowkey so fucking heartbreaking. With some encounters, I felt nothing cause it was a quick sending nudes and flirting so I just thought of it as porn, which I know is terrible but it’s how I felt. But others, more affair like encounters, I felt so fucking guilty but I just didn’t have the impulse control or the heart to stop. But I also have a sex addiction that comes from csa and some other sexual trauma over the years, but mainly the csa. My lust issues have been a constant in my life that ruins many of my relationships or at the very least, leads me to impulsively make selfish decisions I later regret. Never assaulted anyone or pushed any boundaries, it’s moreso, lots of my relationships have taken sexual turns when I should’ve had more boundaries to keep them as friends, or hyper sexuality that leads me to having lots of one night stands that I later regret and feel gross about. Even though I feel remorse…it’s hard to not think I could be a narcissist because while it was happening, I knew it was wrong and would do it anyway. Both for instant gratification of my lust, and to feel validated and wanted by other people. I have a fluctuating self esteem, when I’m doing things I know are right for myself and others, I feel great. Not superior but just like a good human, especially considering I used to be selfish as SHIT when I was a teenager and was a menace to people. So it makes me feel good to know I’ve improved on how I care for others. But I can’t tell if I’m tricking myself into thinking I’m good just to save face for the fact I could be a fraud narcissist?? Or maybe that’s the trauma from my childhood abuse talking. But then sometimes I’ll have periods of low self esteem, specifically after traumatic events, and during these periods I can act very selfish and lustful and I can be very manipulative just to keep being able to have access to sex. And there’s been plenty of periods in my life where I have admittedly treated people like objects. It makes me upset with myself like how could I even just think like that?!
But outside of my romantic life, I don’t manipulate people and I don’t see a point, I care deeply for my friends and family and their success. I don’t wish ill on strangers and I believe in equality and equity, if I have more resources I believe in sharing vs hoarding and bragging. I’m not materialistic at all. And even in my romantic life, I’ve had relationships where I’ve been completely honest and genuine and not cheated, I know I’m capable, and I don’t like lying to my partners either. It’s uncomfortable, I don’t get a rush out of it. I have goals of my own I care deeply about like becoming a successful artist and being able to uplift my community, and I can’t tell if that’s a narcissistic goal or not just based on the status part of it all. But I eventually want to be a therapist one day as well because I do care about being able to help people understand themselves and learn how to function in society and live more comfortable lives, reassure people that change is possible even if it’s hard. And it has nothing to do with fixing myself or wanting to be able to psychoanalyze myself, I genuinely want to help others both through therapy and also my art. Sometimes I do think I’m smarter than a lot of people around me but thats mainly because I’m American and I think the common American is ignorant…compared to the average human or the rest of the world? I don’t think I’m even close to the smartest person and am verrrryyy ignorant to most things, myself. And I’ve had many moments in my life where I’ve had severe apathy…manipulated people for my own gain and just been a closed minded dickwad…but I’ve grown a lot from that period and I do have lots of empathy towards people. Which I know isss possible with NPD.
I’m just confused, and I don’t have a therapist yet but I’m looking for one cause narcissist or not, I don’t want to continue being a sex addicted liar in my relationships. I hate that when I get super close to people, I tend to get self sabotage-y and sometimes even a little mean. But I don’t want to be this way anymore, I can’t take hurting the people close to me anymore and I also can’t take constantly destroying my relationships. my inner traumatized child deserves an honest, sweet life and so do others, and that starts with me choosing to do the right thing. But it would be helpful to know if I’m a narcissist or not cause it could help give me a direction of the kind of treatment and exercises I could be doing to improve my life and others around Me.