Hey. Silly question maybe. I‘m 20 and male. I recently have thought about starting therapy because I have a very complicated relationship with romance in my life and attachment. I wanted to ask, is there such a thing as a valid reason for therapy or would you say everyone should be „allowed“ to go to therapy?
Just a cigarette for dinner.
I am deeply afraid of not finding love. I don‘t really dig hookup culture and I haven‘t had a relationship in my 20 years. I only had my first kiss at 19. I am scared that in todays world people focus on themselves so much that they aren‘t ready to risk being vulnerable with others. Everyone seems to have walls up and I feel naive for still believing in genuine love. I feel silly for wanting connection with someone more than others do. I like myself and the way I behave but I do need another person to love me romantically.
Hey y‘all!
I thought maybe you guys would have some input on this. I (M20) struggle with feeling unlovable. It‘s a really weird feeling to describe. I have this deep conviction that in the short term I simply won‘t find any romantic love. I have never had a relationship. For a long time it never interested me and recently I‘ve grown into my face a bit more and became a bit more conventionally attractive. This resulted in some attention and I started dating a bit. Both times however it went downhill.
I had a rough patch from January to early March with one girl. I got out of that and instantly another girl got interested in me. I was a bit guarded but because it all seemed to be going well I let myself believe this might be „where my luck turns“. She then pulled away when things became a bit more serious due to her own past. Mind you guys it never was a real relationship. Now this sadly just reinforced this idea that love simply does not happen to me.
I feel like on paper I have a lot to offer and I am not exactly worried I‘ll never have anyone. My fear seems to lean more towards me being alone the next say 5 years. I have not been to therapy but I have started looking into it. I thought maybe you guys would have some advice for me.
Tldr: I have a deep seated belief that romantic love simply does not happen to me and I don‘t know how to get rid of that