u/Suitable-Mood-7212

18M
Through middle school during Covid I was a quiet, lonely kid who didn’t talk to any girls or have any friends. Now that I’m a senior in high school, I have lots of friends, Ive had 2 girlfriends during high school and viewed as “a popular kid” by many. 2 weeks ago at prom, someone from another school came up to me, asked if I was … and I said yes. Then they said “I heard you run shit around here” (meaning I’m a popular kid). I remember a teacher asked me how I seemed so confident at all times 2 years ago, and I still remember it to this day. Now I don’t say this to toot my horn, but to explain the contrast in how I feel, vs how others view me. While I may be popular and confident on the outside, on the inside I’m the most insecure, embarrassed kid ever. How can I be viewed as such a confident and likeable person when I don’t even like myself?

In the start of high school I had bad acne, I remember spending hours researching how to solve it, trying hundreds of different products and losing my mind over my face. I wore a hood everyday for 2 years because I couldn’t stand people looking at me. I couldn’t keep eye contact with anyone because I couldn’t stop thinking about how they viewed me. But nobody has ever known this. Eventually I found good friends in high school, but they don’t know how bad I struggled, and neither do my 2 ex girlfriends.

The past year, I’ve struggled with losing my ex as she went off to college. I cried everyday for months, and couldn’t stop thinking about her at all times during the day. But nobody knew. I had this smile during the day and at all times to hide my emotions. I would listen to the saddest music, and obsess over her, but nobody knew, not even my 2 closest friends.

My brother went to a depression type of rehab place for 2 weeks 3 years ago. I didn’t tell anyone, and I lost my mind thinking about him and what he was going through. But nobody knew. I always hid who I was.

Some kid in my school explained how he never looks at himself in the mirror and took a good look in the mirror while we were in the bathroom. I thought to myself, is this what normal people are like? I spend hours everyday looking at myself in the mirror. Analyzing everything about myself trying different ways to look better and to not feel so insecure.

At the end of the day, when I make it back to my room by myself. I let the mask go. I enjoy different music then what other people think I do, watch different shows and movies, think about stuff nobody would think I would, and even write on Reddit for random people to give me advice. If anyone knew these certain things about me, id want to die from embarrassment.

How can I be viewed as confident, even when I can’t find something I like about myself? I Why do I feel the need to hide who I am? Why am I ashamed of what I like? I don’t think any advice is going to make me turn into this new person where I can voice who i really am, but I just want to know why I’m like this? So please feel free to give any advice, or thoughts. Thank you

18M
Through middle school during Covid I was a quiet, lonely kid who didn’t talk to any girls or have any friends. Now that I’m a senior in high school, I have lots of friends, Ive had 2 girlfriends during high school and viewed as “a popular kid” by many. 2 weeks ago at prom, someone from another school came up to me, asked if I was … and I said yes. Then they said “I heard you run shit around here” (meaning I’m a popular kid). I remember a teacher asked me how I seemed so confident at all times 2 years ago, and I still remember it to this day. Now I don’t say this to toot my horn, but to explain the contrast in how I feel, vs how others view me. While I may be popular and confident on the outside, on the inside I’m the most insecure, embarrassed kid ever. How can I be viewed as such a confident and likeable person when I don’t even like myself?

In the start of high school I had bad acne, I remember spending hours researching how to solve it, trying hundreds of different products and losing my mind over my face. I wore a hood everyday for 2 years because I couldn’t stand people looking at me. I couldn’t keep eye contact with anyone because I couldn’t stop thinking about how they viewed me. But nobody has ever known this. Eventually I found good friends in high school, but they don’t know how bad I struggled, and neither do my 2 ex girlfriends.

The past year, I’ve struggled with losing my ex as she went off to college. I cried everyday for months, and couldn’t stop thinking about her at all times during the day. But nobody knew. I had this smile during the day and at all times to hide my emotions. I would listen to the saddest music, and obsess over her, but nobody knew, not even my 2 closest friends.

My brother went to a depression type of rehab place for 2 weeks 3 years ago. I didn’t tell anyone, and I lost my mind thinking about him and what he was going through. But nobody knew. I always hid who I was.

Some kid in my school explained how he never looks at himself in the mirror and took a good look in the mirror while we were in the bathroom. I thought to myself, is this what normal people are like? I spend hours everyday looking at myself in the mirror. Analyzing everything about myself trying different ways to look better and to not feel so insecure.

At the end of the day, when I make it back to my room by myself. I let the mask go. I enjoy different music then what other people think I do, watch different shows and movies, think about stuff nobody would think I would, and even write on Reddit for random people to give me advice. If anyone knew these certain things about me, id want to die from embarrassment.

How can I be viewed as confident, even when I can’t find something I like about myself? I Why do I feel the need to hide who I am? Why am I ashamed of what I like? I don’t think any advice is going to make me turn into this new person where I can voice who i really am, but I just want to know why I’m like this? So please feel free to give any advice, or thoughts. Thank you

18M
Ever since a kid I’ve felt so lonely. I’ve been surrounded by family that loves me and friends that would do anything for me. But when I’m alone, none of it seems to matter and I feel like nobody is around me. I remember how lonely i would feel in middle school when I sat by myself at all times watching everyone have friends. But now that I even have friends, I don’t feel full filled.

Only the last 2 years when I had a girlfriend is when I felt loved and happy. Now that she is gone I find myself wanting to take her back after some fucked up shit, and thinking about her constantly. It’s been 7 months since we broke up.

I’ve also always felt a feeling of insecurity in myself. I hate myself and I always have. I remember crying at school because I was so scared of embarrassing myself with a costume on Halloween. I remember looking turning off the lights in the bathroom so I wouldn’t have to look at myself( it’s been 5 years since I started doing it and I haven’t stopped). I’m not even ugly too but I just can’t get around to liking myself. It does come in waves though. Feeling good and liking yourself.

But in my case, nothing will ever matter because I will always feel alone

Im ‘18M’ and a senior in high school. I dated a girl (18F) sophomore to junior year for about a year and 10 months. She was a year older than me but we were each others first for everything and I thought she was different from the rest. Then she went to college and I broke up with her because I was scared of getting cheated on while she went to college. But we still texted and wanted to get back together in the future and said we would always wait for each other and tell each other if we found someone else. I always told her I would be done with her if she got with someone else. I never did and waited the whole year for her. During the year we we hung out January and December and everything was different but I thought it was just because we barely saw each other.

During the year without her I went through a lot mentally. I obsessed over her and thought about her 24/7. I never reached out but she was always on my mind.

Now I’m going to the same college as her coincidently. Yesterday she came back to town and we saw each other to catch up. Everything was amazing man everything we said felt like old times And I loved being with her. Then I asked if she wanted to try to date again and she said yes eventually but we need to take it slow which is exactly what I wanted. Then I asked if she was talking to anyone else and she said no she didn’t want that. But then I asked if she fucked someone else….
She said yes 😑
So now I’m in a predicament. Do I put my pride aside and get back with her or move on? And how do I move on when it was so good but this one small thing I just can’t get over?

I’m ‘18M’ and a senior in high school. I dated a girl (18F) sophomore to junior year for about a year and 10 months. She was a year older than me but we were each others first for everything and I thought she was different from the rest. Then she went to college and I broke up with her because I was scared of getting cheated on while she went to college. But we still texted and wanted to get back together in the future and said we would always wait for each other and tell each other if we found someone else. I always told her I would be done with her if she got with someone else. I never did and waited the whole year for her. During the year we we hung out January and December and everything was different but I thought it was just because we barely saw each other.

During the year without her I went through a lot mentally. I obsessed over her and thought about her 24/7. I never reached out but she was always on my mind.

Now I’m going to the same college as her coincidently. Yesterday she came back to town and we saw each other to catch up. Everything was amazing man everything we said felt like old times And I loved being with her. Then I asked if she wanted to try to date again and she said yes eventually but we need to take it slow which is exactly what I wanted. Then I asked if she was talking to anyone else and she said no she didn’t want that. But then I asked if she fucked someone else….
She said yes 😑
So now I’m in a predicament. Do I put my pride aside and get back with her or move on? And how do I move on when it was so good but this one small thing I just can’t get over?

I’m ‘18M’ and a senior in high school. I dated a girl (18F) sophomore to junior year for about a year and 10 months. She was a year older than me but we were each others first for everything and I thought she was different from the rest. Then she went to college and I broke up with her because I was scared of getting cheated on while she went to college. But we still texted and wanted to get back together in the future and said we would always wait for each other and tell each other if we found someone else. I always told her I would be done with her if she got with someone else. I never did and waited the whole year for her. During the year we we hung out January and December and everything was different but I thought it was just because we barely saw each other.

During the year without her I went through a lot mentally. I obsessed over her and thought about her 24/7. I never reached out but she was always on my mind.

Now I’m going to the same college as her coincidently. Yesterday she came back to town and we saw each other to catch up. Everything was amazing man everything we said felt like old times And I loved being with her. Then I asked if she wanted to try to date again and she said yes eventually but we need to take it slow which is exactly what I wanted. Then I asked if she was talking to anyone else and she said no she didn’t want that. But then I asked if she fucked someone else….
She said yes 😑
So now I’m in a predicament. Do I put my pride aside and get back with her or move on? And how do I move on when it was so good but this one small thing I just can’t get over?

I’m ‘18M’ and a senior in high school. I dated a girl (18F) sophomore to junior year for about a year and 10 months. She was a year older than me but we were each others first for everything and I thought she was different from the rest. Then she went to college and I broke up with her because I was scared of getting cheated on while she went to college. But we still texted and wanted to get back together in the future and said we would always wait for each other and tell each other if we found someone else. I always told her I would be done with her if she got with someone else. I never did and waited the whole year for her. During the year we we hung out January and December and everything was different but I thought it was just because we barely saw each other.

During the year without her I went through a lot mentally. I obsessed over her and thought about her 24/7. I never reached out but she was always on my mind.

Now I’m going to the same college as her coincidently. Yesterday she came back to town and we saw each other to catch up. Everything was amazing man everything we said felt like old times And I loved being with her. Then I asked if she wanted to try to date again and she said yes eventually but we need to take it slow which is exactly what I wanted. Then I asked if she was talking to anyone else and she said no she didn’t want that. But then I asked if she fucked someone else….
She said yes 😑
So now I’m in a predicament. Do I put my pride aside and get back with her or move on? And how do I move on when it was so good but this one small thing I just can’t get over?

I’m ‘18M’ and a senior in high school. I dated a girl (18F) sophomore to junior year for about a year and 10 months. She was a year older than me but we were each others first for everything and I thought she was different from the rest. Then she went to college and I broke up with her because I was scared of getting cheated on while she went to college. But we still texted and wanted to get back together in the future and said we would always wait for each other and tell each other if we found someone else. I always told her I would be done with her if she got with someone else. I never did and waited the whole year for her. During the year we we hung out January and December and everything was different but I thought it was just because we barely saw each other.

During the year without her I went through a lot mentally. I obsessed over her and thought about her 24/7. I never reached out but she was always on my mind.

Now I’m going to the same college as her coincidently. Yesterday she came back to town and we saw each other to catch up. Everything was amazing man everything we said felt like old times And I loved being with her. Then I asked if she wanted to try to date again and she said yes eventually but we need to take it slow which is exactly what I wanted. Then I asked if she was talking to anyone else and she said no she didn’t want that. But then I asked if she fucked someone else….
She said yes 😑
So now I’m in a predicament. Do I put my pride aside and get back with her or move on? And how do I move on when it was so good but this one small thing I just can’t get over?