u/Simple-Cup-2119

I ( 25F ) love my girlfriend ( 26F ) and her family. They’re so supportive to her and have always been so kind. She’s very close with them and wants to see them often. Hanging out with them however makes me so anxious and it always ends in me feeling like a disappointment. For context, I’m a disappointment to my own parents. We aren’t close and my relationship with my own family has recently really been struggling. But then I remember that it’s kind of always struggled. It makes me sad seeing how it could be with her and her family and in a way it makes me jealous. I’m also struggling really badly with financial issues and career issues and mental health. I don’t have much to bring to the table in terms of success right now. I haven’t really for awhile. Can’t get myself out of this slump as much as I’m trying to. She’s always been so supportive of me and understanding of my issues that I have going on and so gentle with me. It makes me feel a lot of guilt.

Also her not much older sister and her older sisters boyfriend just got married. He’s an extremely successful business owner and always brings so much life into any room and I’m just quieter and timid. He asked her father for his blessing a year into dating her and has always included them and made them feel like her daughter is safe and appreciated. It makes me feel like I’ll be compared to him and they’ll see me as not good enough for their younger daughter. And truthfully, maybe I’m not. She’s gorgeous, successful, and self sustaining and has always had a wonderfully close relationship with her family members and could actually get anybody she wants. Why she chose me? I ask myself it daily. I try to make an effort to see them with her but half of the time it results in extreme stress before seeing them and negative thoughts about myself and my own family issues. They always want to get dinner out somewhere and it’s always a nice place and I genuinely can’t afford to put my money to nice meals like that on a whim. So I usually end up finding an excuse to cancel last minute or I’ll go with her and them and she pays for me which just makes me feel so much shame and like a failure/bum. I offer to not get any food wherever we go but I think that makes her uncomfortable. She claims it doesn’t make her feel obligated and that she loves buying food but It makes me so sad. Like today I was supposed to go out with all of them but I ended up staying home just to cry in the bathroom and write this post alone. Sometimes it makes me feel frustrated towards her wanting to plan things together with them due to my lack of relationship with my own family. I know this isn’t fair and it makes me feel so awful. So awful.

I miss my family really badly and it’s been something that’s had me really down lately but they don’t seem to want much to do with me. I don’t mean to carry that into how I act about time with hers. It makes me feel really bad and like she’d be better off with someone more outgoing / successful.

Idk has anyone ever felt anything similar ? Did you talk about it with your partner ? Did you guys find a way to combat these feelings I’m having? I have major FOMO and now I’m just sad and feeing a pit in my stomach for not going but also I know going would make me feel like I’m trying to prove something that isn’t true. Like I’m trying to prove that I’m doing better than I really am. They’ve never said anything to me that’s made me feel these ways it’s all entirely in my own head. They’ve always been kind to me and included me I just can’t shake how bad it makes me feel

For context we’ve been dating for about 2 years now and ironically that’s how long I’ve been down the baddest. She’s my dream girl and I adore her. I wish I was in a better spot because I’d marry this girl. I want to give her so much but rn in life I don’t have anything. It’s all just really sad

TL;DR I love my girlfriend and her kind, close-knit family, but being around them triggers insecurity, jealousy, and shame because my own family relationships are strained and I’m struggling financially and mentally. I feel like I don’t measure up—especially compared to her successful brother-in-law—and it’s making me avoid spending time with them, even though they’ve never treated me badly. I’m worried she deserves someone “better” and don’t know how to deal with these feelings or talk to her about it.

replaced the actuator for the front door but the back row of doors don’t open and neither does the passengers side front. lock only works on the one I replaced. I can get the passenger door open from the inside but I can’t get either of the rear doors open from the inside or out

any advice on fixing this issue ? do I need to get 3 new actuators and then install them? how can I get the rear doors open to do this

2017 Hyundai Elantra Limited low