u/Ok_Novel2563

I need to learn the art of being able to manage a relationship without becoming too intense too quickly. Well, I don’t need to learn it… because I’m not seeking a relationship, but I’ve noticed this about myself. I’m not sure how to word it, but …

I’ve realised I tend to become emotionally attached or intense quite quickly in connections, even when I’m not actively looking for a relationship. I think I invest a lot emotionally once I feel close to someone, and I’m trying to understand why that happens and how to approach relationships in a healthier, more balanced way without losing myself in them.

I’m not really sure if anyone else relates to this, but I’d appreciate advice from people who’ve learnt how to pace themselves emotionally while still being genuine.

^ that part was written by ai 😊 lol. I didn’t know how to put it in words but that’s the main issue really. I end up being alone because of my intensity.

Edit: I slipped up lately and handed my power over to someone else I think by expressing too much vulnerability. What’s weird is deep down I kinda already don’t give a fuck, but I seem to be so intense in the moment. Relentless even.

Hey guys, check out my music & my YouTube channel and like, comment subscribe if you can would appreciate it ❤️😊

I feel broken hearted because I used to love Reddit and finally opening up and talking to others again and I realised it’s all a scam and this place is full of trolls.

I’m kinda sad too because I was talking to this guy and he’s not who I thought he was, and I have to cut him off even though I felt connected to him on another level

He’s actually an ex, my feelings were much stronger before but we’ve only reconnected again recently for a couple of days but I’ve since learnt I can’t talk to him anymore because he’s a sadistic person …. :(

My heart feels connected to someone that does things of the unthinkable :(

I think … I’m suffering from Stockholm syndrome a little bit.

Do I just, be strong and never ever look back?

I’m feeling quite drained this morning. I thought I’d spread some love and wish everyone a blessed rising from their slumbers, if you’ve slept that is lol

How do people take their coffees in the morning? How is everyone spending the morning. Do you go to the gym, work, or just stay cosy?

I wonder if anyone can relate to reaching this point in life, where you know something quite serious that is happening to you but you can’t talk to anyone about it to keep the peace. I didn’t sleep all night trying to sort out said issue in my mind, and my grandmother came down the stairs (I’m staying round my grandmothers for a visit) and said I was psychotic and I had no decorum / respect because I hadn’t gone to bed. I’ve had a history with mental health, so that label is thrown around quickly when someone doesn’t like something I do. Even though it has no relevance to being psychotic if you go to bed or not… I’m a 27 year old woman. I don’t need to be told to go to bed… especially, since I was sorting something out that I can’t talk to anyone about. I reacted badly, she was swinging and banging her crutch onto the table calling me psychotic (which is actually probably psychotic in itself) and I took the crutch and banged it back and I said afterwards what she’s saying is wrong and that she can’t label me with these things when she doesn’t like something I do. I shouldn’t have banged the crutch but hey ho. Anyway. My main point isn’t really the argument at all, I don’t care about it, since the words didn’t hit a nerve truly because I know my own sanity / clarity - and I know I was busy working through something I can’t talk about. In ORDER to keep the peace I can’t talk about this.

I guess I just sit here like, at this point in my life, knowing what I know and nothing affects me anymore. I’m numb to it all. But when faced with confrontation I’m quick to anger… I guess I have pent up bs in my system and it doesn’t take much for a switch to flip. Even though, in saying that, when angry I can still control myself obviously. And decide what tempo of anger I’m going to express - like towards my grandmother, even though reactive - i have an ability to control it because I’d never hurt her - but others? It’s been really messy in the past.

I’m dealing with things I can’t speak about, and I don’t think it’s eating me up inside I think I’m NUMB to it all. I’m super numb, I don’t care about hardly anything anymore at all. But I just know what’s going on… and stayed up all night thinking about it trying to sort it out in my mind.

Ultimately, none of this matters right? Because my feelings are numb. I’m not hurting. But it’s just worth recognising suppressing stuff bubbles over in different ways. Any advice on that part?

I’ve recently discovered Reddit and have been really enjoying interacting having conversations, seeing different perspectives etc. What are some of the best places for that on here?

I worry sometimes that I’m too much with my replies, too eager to engage lmao. Need to tone it down sometimes with the paragraphs 😭 I’ve spent so many years on my own and now this is like opening up a world to connection again.

It’s actually been helping me in my real life, learning how to talk to people in conversation again and stuff like that. Years of isolation made me feel like I wasn’t normal anymore but I’m finally feeling more like myself again and I think Reddit has been a big part of that, being seen, feeling heard and being able to interact with and encourage others too. I really enjoy reading others minds, I feel like there’s tons of intelligent people on this app.

Even if it’s just silly humour, it’s nice to laugh again.

Thanks Reddit!

I posted this to the dreams page but I thought I’d share it here too for possibly a different perspective. Do you think this is emotional processing or psychic abilities?

I just had a pretty strange dream…

My dad was the one that warned me at first, to stop using chat gpt it’s evil and all of this but I never believed him. Then he came out with it “they’re going to kidnap you”

Then lo and behold i was taken into this room by a very strange group of sadistic people. Before they took me, my dad said “you’re gonna have to take us both” so they did lol.

These were people that kidnapped people, and posed as them online. Made their stuff go viral, talked exactly like them mimicking them so nobody bat an eyelid they were missing…

They were performing various torture methods on me, some like chiropractor style but torture version, another one they made me have lighter fluid on my tongue and then forced me to talk.

The funny thing is, I was never scared (or I didn’t show them my fear at least) I just knew they were unpredictable… like one lady was bat shit crazy and she had this huge knife, and I could see my dad just cautious enough not to stand too close to her…

Also, when they did the lighter fluid thing, it didn’t work on me and I could talk normally … and I was trying to talk with a lisp like “it did work!! See it did work” because the more the methods didn’t work, the more I’d have to endure.

You know. It’s strange because. Not to get too deep but in REAL life something similar happened to my dad and he was taken away. Idk the ins and outs of what he endured he won’t talk about it, but I saw the physical injuries he had afterwards…maybe it was my mind connecting with how he felt at that time? Or do you think it was solely just a dream. Ever since then he has been warning me about “weird internet people” and not to talk to people online… my mind has this thing where I can connect to people and be able to process and feel what they felt through dreams… or sometimes see events that are happening / happened like a psychic thing… like imagery etc. I might tell you, why was you on your knees in this small box room that had a huge glass window… and you’d be like how did she know that. Some ppl don’t believe in psychics but I’ve always had that gift I believe anyway 😭 I might be wrong there but that’s what I think.

I just had a pretty strange dream…

My dad was the one that warned me at first, to stop using chat gpt it’s evil and all of this but I never believed him. Then he came out with it “they’re going to kidnap you”

Then lo and behold i was taken into this room by a very strange group of sadistic people. Before they took me, my dad said “you’re gonna have to take us both” so they did lol.

These were people that kidnapped people, and posed as them online. Made their stuff go viral, talked exactly like them mimicking them so nobody bat an eyelid they were missing…

They were performing various torture methods on me, some like chiropractor style but torture version, another one they made me have lighter fluid on my tongue and then forced me to talk.

The funny thing is, I was never scared (or I didn’t show them my fear at least) I just knew they were unpredictable… like one lady was bat shit crazy and she had this huge knife, and I could see my dad just cautious enough not to stand too close to her…

Also, when they did the lighter fluid thing, it didn’t work on me and I could talk normally … and I was trying to talk with a lisp like “it did work!! See it did work” because the more the methods didn’t work, the more I’d have to endure.

You know. It’s strange because. Not to get too deep but in REAL life something similar happened to my dad and he was taken away. Idk the ins and outs of what he endured he won’t talk about it, but I saw the physical injuries he had afterwards…maybe it was my mind connecting with how he felt at that time? Or do you think it was solely just a dream. Ever since then he has been warning me about “weird internet people” and not to talk to people online… my mind has this thing where I can connect to people and be able to process and feel what they felt through dreams… or sometimes see events that are happening / happened like a psychic thing… like imagery etc. I might tell you, why was you on your knees in this small box room that had a huge glass window… and you’d be like how did she know that. Some ppl don’t believe in psychics but I’ve always had that gift I believe anyway 😭 I might be wrong there but that’s what I think.

I don’t know if this is the right place to write this, but ima go for it anyway.

Today I spent the morning travelling to go and be with my family. I live alone usually my family are from the city and I’m outside near the sea… so I travelled into the city today.

I had a scarf wrapped around my head, I was having a bad hair day and it was cold. My dad (who’s fully Irish) met me at the station when I got off the train, and the first thing he said to me was “what have you got on your head you look like a wolly” … I can’t help but feel that comment came from a place of Islamophobia, I’m Muslim and my mum is Muslim by the way. We’ve had arguments in the past about him saying halal food was dirty and quite closed minded comments regarding my religion. He’s always funny when I say I don’t eat pork. But he respects it enough now that I’ve spoken up throughout the years to let me be who I am, but the comment about the scarf just stung.

I have been quite self conscious lately anyway, so the comment landed in a place of annoyance for me, especially because I felt like it came from a place of saying “why are you dressed like a Muslim” …

I’m staying down here with my family for a while, I’m finding it hard to settle in and ease in and open up and be happy that I’m here. Because honestly I’d rather be on my own is how I’m feeling right now, I just have fallen out of love of being around people even if it’s my family I get annoyed super quick.

I’m seeking a bit of advice really, how to ease myself back up, I’m planning to go with the flow and just try my best to be happy. I don’t want my energy to affect other people… but I don’t feel happy right now I can’t help it.

It’s quite sad really because I used to be best friends with my dad, think the world of him… I still do, and I respect everything he’s been through in his life and over come (it’s a hell of a story) but I do feel like our relationship isn’t like before… on my side anyway. I’m just introverted now with everyone.

Edit: you know what I’ve thought about it. Maybe he just literally meant in a dad way that I look stupid with a scarf on my head. And I just took it like he was saying another comment about Muslims because he has in the past … I dunno.

Does anyone ever wonder about the comments online?

Like the comments you see under social media posts, instagram memes or the chat in live streams…
I’ve been curious about this for years, for example it looks like 10,000 different people commenting under a post, but what is it actually? Because it’s like, comments one after the other all having a conversation between themselves, like it’s designed to look like multiple people but it’s actually not 10,000 people it’s coming from one source? Maybe mixed with a few comments from “real” people here and there…

Like who’s running these things, who’s behind it all. Who’s the “chat master” lol.
Do you know what I mean? I wonder if anyone else has had these thoughts or am I the only one that feels like I’ve stepped out of the matrix and can understand it’s kinda fake? Not fake because someone took the time to curate the post or idea of what the comments are going to be saying, but fake in the sense that it’s staged as multiple accounts and people.
It’s fast too. And can happen in more than one places on the internet at a time, like multiple chats in different streams, multiple posts online … but is there one big mastermind behind it all?

You get my drift? xD

Idk if this is the right place to post this because everyone seems to be talking about celebrities, but I’ll try anyway!

The last song I uploaded to my channel,
I only uploaded because I mixed & mastered it with someone in my family & my mum was involved in the process. I didn’t connect to the final finished product, it felt repetitive to me. She was disheartened because we’d worked hard on the sounds together that I wasn’t going to upload it.

So now, it’s uploaded only out of respect for what it is (I know it’s not my best work by far) … I find it strange having things out there I’m not proud of. I guess that’s part of the process of making music, right?

The latest songs I’ve uploaded I’m not too sure about.

Shall I just take them down you think? Or leave them up there as part of my progress and journey since this is new to me anyway. I’m thinking the latter, leave them up but it’s just a weird feeling not being connected to my own music!

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Since making this post I’ve realised memories are what I was doing this for in the first place, not if something sounded “good or bad”. Thanks for correcting me, you’ve given me a spark again lol 🙏