u/NoNectarine97

I moved to the Uk back in 2010 from Eastern Europe and switching schools was such a relief considering how much I got bullied in my school in back in my home county . If you are neurodivergent and awkward, schools in Eastern Europe are hell.

For the first time in my life, I wasn’t scared to attend school. From my experience and this is coming from someone is only 174cm tall (so easy target ) bullying in Uk secondary schools does not go beyond the typical banter . Popular kids either ignore you or spread gossips, and the chavs who barely attend will just joke with you by yelling your name and if you call them out their excuses will be “omg it’s a joke “ . Or they’ll act sarcastic etc “nah leave him alone he’s my bestie” or “omg why are you laughing im being nice to him”

In comparison, I’ve literally been beat up for fun in Eastern Europe for being autistic and having no one to back me up.

Either than that, physical bullying is lot less frequent in uk schools.

What’s your opinion?

Once a month for me, other than that I cook form myself.

A lot of us here struggle with loneliness, and even if some of us have friends, I imagine many don’t have a big social circle to hang out with all the time or walk around with at night.

For example, I go out with my only friend on weekends, but we don’t live near each other. Once we split up, I have to take public transport and then walk alone for around 10 minutes. I imagine some of you can relate to this.

One thing that worries me sometimes is whether being visibly alone makes us more vulnerable to things like mugging or harassment. I try to walk confidently, keep good posture, and stay aware of my surroundings. However, I’m around 5'9" and not a bulky guy, but even then I’ve seen pretty big, muscular guys get targeted when alone in places like London, so size clearly isn’t everything when you don’t have anyone to back you up. A lone lion can get pressured by a group of hyenas, while things feel safer when there’s a group around.

Do any of you ever feel this way? Does loneliness or having to do everything alone ever make you feel more vulnerable or unsafe?

And what do you personally do to stay safe when you’re out alone?

I visited Anchorage for work and travel after completing my first year at university, and I absolutely loved it there. I’ve also been to Morocco, and when I compared the two places, Alaska felt so much better for my social anxiety. People in Anchorage minded their own business, hardly anyone stared at me like they did in Morocco, and although people were reserved, they were more than happy to help if needed.

I’m a super awkward person socially, and in Alaska nobody gave me a hard time for that. People seemed patient, tolerant, and respectful of personal space.

Sure, Alaska has its downsides. Winters can be harsh (although Anchorage and southern Alaska are not as extreme as people imagine), groceries can be expensive, and remote living isn’t for everyone. But I think Alaska has a lot of advantages that attract people:

* Very low risk of terror attacks

* No snakes or dangerous venomous animals (I have a fear of snakes, so the idea of walking through grassy areas near Anchorage without worrying is honestly amazing)

* No diseases like malaria or cholera

* Plenty of fresh water

* Beautiful nature and clean air

* Far away from most major global conflict zones

And sure, Alaska has dangerous wildlife like moose, bears, and wolves — but it’s not like they’re casually roaming Anchorage looking to eat people. Most wildlife incidents happen when people get too close, surprise an animal, or ignore common safety rules. If you respect wild animals and use common sense, the risk is pretty low for everyday life.

Honestly, if I had to choose between being stranded in the Amazon jungle or Alaska, I’d choose Alaska.

If I knew I could find an IT job, afford a house, and comfortably pay for food and bills, I’d seriously consider moving there.

You guys are genuinely lucky to live somewhere so beautiful.

It’s so annoying. I have no idea what I’m doing wrong , but will often catch people giving the confused, “wtf is this guy doing “ look. For instance in the gym today. I was running on the cardio and the I could sense the guy next to me was staring and when I slowly looked around, he was indeed giving me a sneering with confused look.

There’s a guy in my neighbourhood, who always stares at me and sometimes whispers to his friends and they all start to look at me.

It’s so depressing

Obviously we do too, however I don’t jump to conclusions like some neurotypicals do . For instance, if I see someone with rbf, slight different walk or even stims, I would not judge him and I would not stare at him , partly because he might be on the spectrum and I don’t want him to experience what I do. However, neurotypicals always point out some slight difference in face expressions, walk and maneuverer and some will literally bully you for it. I hate that.

- I’ve had people assuming I was on drugs because of my calculating face expressions.

- I’ve had shop guards wanting to check my bag and when I asked them they said , “your face expressions is a bit of and you avoided eye contact. wtf, am I supposed to stare at him the whole time or look for the items that I want to buy? I didn’t even avoid complete eye contact. I give the people in front of me a quick glance and that’s it. How long are you suppose to stare at them. I felt so humiliated as there were people, and I’m the last person to steal.

- a guy in my university assumed I was a (r word) because my “vibe seemed off “ . I asked him to be more specific and his answer was ,”idk you just seemed off I can’t even explain why.”

- I had a teacher in school that yelled at me for rolling my eyes , when I was only doing it out of habit. Jesus, they are so sensitive to body language

- even at airports, I often get selected for random check at the security, even when I pass the metal detector without any issues. I’m not even anxious at airports .

I notice this with other people too, especially in my neighbourhood. There will always be that one guy who stares me down whenever he walks past me, every single time.

People also always act really weird when they see me and I can’t recall doing anything wrong like staring at them. I mean, Yh do look more reserved maybe, but is that even enough for them to be suspicious of me.

What makes this harder is that it’s not just dating. I’ve had family friends ask what’s “wrong” with me, as if there must be some obvious explanation for why I struggle socially. I’ve had people literally say things like, “there’s something off about you, but I can’t tell what.” Imagine hearing that repeatedly and trying not to overthink every interaction afterward. Or worse - imagine someone telling you, “I thought you were r word, when I first saw you “, and going forward with “putting yourself out there”.

Sometimes when I tell people I went to university, got a degree, and work in IT, they seem genuinely surprised, which honestly hurts. It makes me wonder what impression I’m giving off without even realising it, or do I look and sounds stupid.

Even small things get to me now. Sometimes I feel ignored in public in ways that make me feel invisible, while other times I feel hyper-visible in the worst way — like people are staring at me or judging me. I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinking because of years of bad experiences, or if people really do see something “off” about me. Either way, it’s exhausting. I’ve had waiters ignore me when I went to restaurant with my family as if don’t exist . Then later when we leave the restaurant then they even said goodbye to me, or when I say goodbye then just ignore me again.

And then people wonder why I developed social anxiety. I wasn’t born this way. I actually tried to socialise when I was younger. I talked to people, tried to fit in, tried to be friendly. But I was bullied through most of school, even before I became anxious. That’s the part people don’t understand — the anxiety came after years of rejection, embarrassment, and feeling like an outsider.

I still barely understand why I got bullied so much. I kept to myself, didn’t bother anyone, and my grades were good. I wasn’t aggressive or mean. Yet somehow I became an easy target. After years of that, you start expecting rejection before it even happens. I still have a vivid memory of this girls slapping me in the face in school because “I was lame and deserved it.”

I’m honestly jealous of people who can just go outside and blend in without worrying about how they’re being perceived. I wish I felt invisible in a normal way. Instead, I often feel like people are analysing me, staring at me, or reacting negatively to me, and it’s genuinely upsetting and draining.

What makes it even more depressing, is that i honestly haven’t met anyone like me. Everyone around me is more successful from every aspect of life.

What makes this harder is that it’s not just dating. I’ve had family friends ask what’s “wrong” with me, as if there must be some obvious explanation for why I struggle socially. I’ve had people literally say things like, “there’s something off about you, but I can’t tell what.” Imagine hearing that repeatedly and trying not to overthink every interaction afterward. Or worse - imagine someone telling you, “I thought you were r word, when I first saw you “, and going forward with “putting yourself out there”.

Sometimes when I tell people I went to university, got a degree, and work in IT, they seem genuinely surprised, which honestly hurts. It makes me wonder what impression I’m giving off without even realising it, or do I look and sounds stupid.

Even small things get to me now. Sometimes I feel ignored in public in ways that make me feel invisible, while other times I feel hyper-visible in the worst way — like people are staring at me or judging me. I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinking because of years of bad experiences, or if people really do see something “off” about me. Either way, it’s exhausting. I’ve had waiters ignore me when I went to restaurant with my family as if don’t exist . Then later when we leave the restaurant then they even said goodbye to me, or when I say goodbye then just ignore me again.

And then people wonder why I developed social anxiety. I wasn’t born this way. I actually tried to socialise when I was younger. I talked to people, tried to fit in, tried to be friendly. But I was bullied through most of school, even before I became anxious. That’s the part people don’t understand — the anxiety came after years of rejection, embarrassment, and feeling like an outsider.

I still barely understand why I got bullied so much. I kept to myself, didn’t bother anyone, and my grades were good. I wasn’t aggressive or mean. Yet somehow I became an easy target. After years of that, you start expecting rejection before it even happens. I still have a vivid memory of this girls slapping me in the face in school because “I was lame and deserved it.”

I’m honestly jealous of people who can just go outside and blend in without worrying about how they’re being perceived. I wish I felt invisible in a normal way. Instead, I often feel like people are analysing me, staring at me, or reacting negatively to me, and it’s genuinely upsetting and draining.

What makes it even more depressing, is that i honestly haven’t met anyone like me. Everyone around me is more successful from every aspect of life.

Странно и непопулярно мнение , но не обичам лятото. Не понасям тези 40 градусови задушаващи жеги. Сигурен съм , че тази година ще са същите ако ли не още по адски. Не ми се мисли за тези които живеят в Пловдив (просто там лятото е като между подмишницата на дявола). София също не е по добре, но поне Витоша осигурява прохлада. Ако не си на море, спасението е или вкъщи пред климатика или в моловете. Също така ми е мн по депресивно когато навън горещо. Август поне с една идея по приятно. Юли е парника. А да не споменавам тази миризма на дюнери от 2км

От друга страна, обожавам есента и зимата. Есента навсякъде е цветно , жълто- златисто, въздуха е по свеж, и се спи мн по добре. Зимата пък мн ми харесва самия пейзаж, дори когато няма сняг, самите голи дървета създават някаква атмосфера като роман на Исак Левитан. Издържам на -20 , но не и на 32 нагоре. Даже тази година като падна сняг в София , излязох вечерта да се разходя и грам студ не усетих. Даже пак ми беше топло на -5.

Също така, зимата мога да ходя из гората без да се притеснявам да не настъпя змия.

Също така есента е Хелоуин , края на октомври рождения ми ден после пък зимата идва коледа.

Вкъщи 90% от това което ям сам ги го приготвям, и все по рядко си поръчвам, но не си го нося в кутия за офиса защото раницата ми става тежка, умирисва се, и пътувам с метрото . Като цяло , създава малко дискомфорт. И с колегата ми обядвам и ни излиза към 6 евро на човек обяда, и не съм се разорил .

Не е зле, но като прочета постове и разбирам, че повечето тук си носите обяд на работа , се чувствам като пълен глупак, заради това , че харча пари и ям полуфабрикати, въпреки , че готвят ок. Ама поне и така се социализирам с колегата.

Какво мислите?

I know it’s a social rule, and I might seem rude for not going by it, but I hate being the one to greet coworkers , or neighbours first (unless I happen to be really close with them) . I mean I live in a flat, and I greet those next door of course, or sometimes they greet me first , we sort of have a competition who’s going greet which first lol. However, I hate being the one to greet the other neighbours in the flat when I see them, and I always wait for them to greet me first. I don’t want to look standoffish, I just feel uncomfortable doing it first.

It just feels so awkward being the one to greet first , especially when I don’t know them and I’m not close with. If they greet me, I’m polite and I greet back. If someone ask me how I’m doing etc. I also ask how he’s doing.