u/Nifty_Squish_Mitten

Her lack of desire is palpable....

All I want is to hold her... She used to purposely scoot as close into me as she could just to feel it on her butt. Now, I have to basically beg to hold her hand and even then It feels forced... she gained a couple pounds awhile ago, and said she didn't want to have sex because of that... Now she's rail skinny again but she doesn't want me anymore.... I hate this. How am I supposed to believe you're faithful to me when our sex life js dead and you barely even want to hold my hand.... Then you get all pissed off when I take care of it myself... I have to use the videos we made just to bust....

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All I want is to hold her... She used to purposely scoot as close into me as she could just to feel it on her butt. Now, I have to basically beg to hold her hand and even then It feels forced... she gained a couple pounds awhile ago, and said she didn't want to have sex because of that... Now she's rail skinny again but she doesn't want me anymore.... I hate this. How am I supposed to believe you're faithful to me when our sex life js dead and you barely even want to hold my hand.... Then you get all pissed off when I take care of it myself... I have to use the videos we made just to bust....

Made plans to go into detox Friday after work. Parkman recovery said just be there before 9. I was. And then they kicked me out because I was dirty for Methadone. I had take like 10 MGs last weekend because I was trying to detox at home. So, now I have to detox at home. Already took the time off work, so now I'm just doing my best to push through.

Hi, so basically, I 31 M have been with 38 F for about 2.5 years now. She has CPTSD and had a really rough life. Lots of trauma. I have ADHD, IED, Bipolar, and anxiety, and we are both addicts. When we met, we were both sober (her for 2 months, me for almost 3 years) The whole relationship has been pretty rocky if I'm being honest. At first she would constantly accuse me of lying and cheating. It was hard for me to handle. When she would get angry and start screaming I would let her know I was overwhelmed and I would go home which she would take as abandonment and I wouldn't be able to sleep until I we went back over there. I got overwhelmed quickly trying to navigate her triggers, without losing my temper. I would sometimes and feel so much shame afterwards. Long story short, she needed alot of my attention, and I stopped focusing on myself. Doing what I needed to stay sober. I relapsed and have been extremely depressed ever since. Wasn't long before we were using together.... we moved in together and the fights just became almost constant. I stopped trying... Life became just trying to keep the peace because I couldn't stand the war zone between us. Constantly shouting and cussing. I lost so much sleep and I wasn't preforming well at work.... I just buried myself in drugs. Eventually things got so bad between us she was threatening to leave pretty often and I got high and made the mistake of talking to women on the internet... It was emotional infidelity for sure, but it was only that one time, and nothing physical came of it. She would get triggered all the time and it was like I was being swallowed whole. She always accused me of playing games and not being there for her... No matter how hard I tried, even spending all of our free time together, it still wasn't enough. The drugs took over and I ended up moving out. The relationship didn't end. She always made me feel so guilty about leaving but she never changed... Every disagreement it's "fuck you" "you're an asshole" NOW that I'm not on the lease she threatens to kick me out.

I'm just getting off the drugs... she is constantly criticizing me, putting me down, mocking me, trivializing any effort I do put into helping her out. She's constantly bringing up the past when I've lied about using (she's done it too just not as much). We stopped having sex, any bid i make for her affection is met with contempt. She doesn't apologize. She says we can't have a deep conversation about what's going on between us without a mediator.... I just don't know if I'm dealing with a woman with CPTSD or a narcissist....

I'm a CDL class A holder that is interested in getting into OTR trucking, however I have E/O restrictions. Any recommendations on a company that will pay for new test and train? Thanks in advance.

You're 38, I'm 31. We've been toxic. Abusive. But You've never been apathetic...

Of You're leaving say so. If there's another one... tell me... who puts locks on their phone and fb messenger...