u/New-Tutor2255

My girlfriend (19F) and I (19M) have been together for a year and a half. She went abroad to visit family two weeks ago and since she left everything has shifted completely after an argument we had.
Before she left things were genuinely great between us. The moment she arrived abroad it’s like I stopped existing.
Here’s what’s been happening. She rarely initiates contact. When I call she either doesn’t answer or keeps it very short. She’s left my messages on seen for hours sometimes an entire day. When I’ve tried to bring up where we stand in our relationship she keeps saying “we’ll talk when I’m back” but her return date keeps getting pushed back — it’s now been pushed back multiple times.
Meanwhile she’s been posting on social media, going out, getting her hair done, spending time with friends and family, and is clearly active on her phone. She only reaches out warmly when she needs help with her university assignments — which I’ve been helping her with.
When I told her I loved her on a call she said she couldn’t say the same and ended the call. When I asked if she misses me she said she can’t answer that. blocked me on insta after our argument. during this initiating almost every conversation. I’ve been patient, I’ve apologized for things that happened and I’ve tried to give her space while still showing I care.
She’s supposed to be back this weekend but I’m going into this not knowing where we stand, whether she still wants this, or whether I’m about to get broken up with after two weeks of being kept waiting.

I know she told me she would be very busy, she also did tell me we will talk it out but apart of me feels like she lost interest or something, but the other day she would call me baby and blow me a kiss for helping her with her assignment. I don’t know what’s up with her, she still wears my promise ring she still answers the phone but never puts any effort in and avoids anything relationship related until she will be back, she told me 10/10 we will talk it out and it won’t be a break up thing.
My question is — is this normal behavior for someone visiting family abroad or is this a clear sign she’s checked out of the relationship? And how do I handle the conversation when she’s finally back?

My girlfriend (19F) and I (19M) have been together for a year and a half. For the past six weeks we’ve been long distance while she’s been traveling — first Spain, then Portugal visiting family. We’re meeting next week and I don’t know whether to have a serious conversation or just end it when I see her.

In Spain everything was genuinely amazing between us. The moment she left for Portugal everything shifted completely.

Here’s what’s been happening this past week:

She went from calling me consistently and checking in regularly to barely communicating at all. I’ve sent her long honest messages about how I’m feeling — this has happened more than once — and the second time she genuinely improved, but now we’re back to zero. I sit for hours waiting for responses that don’t come. She declines my video calls. She left my most recent honest message on seen for over 12 hours without responding, then came home at 1am and told me to wait while she uploads an assignment.

She blocked me on Instagram during an argument and I’m still blocked. She posted on her private story and hid me from it. A new person appeared following her private account around the same time she blocked me — someone I don’t recognize despite knowing her close circle well. She posted a Snapchat with someone I didn’t recognize sitting next to her, though her friend suggested it could be a family member.

She’s been actively posting on social media, reposting TikToks, going out, getting her hair done — but has no time to respond to me or return my calls.

I’ve taken care of this girl genuinely. I took her to Paris and Sweden, I buy her groceries, I’m there when she’s sick, I spend real time with her, I’ve been helping her with her assignments. She has two major overdue assignments right now and hasn’t asked for my help once this week — which is unusual.

Before this week we had discussions about communication and she acknowledged the issue and improved. But now it’s back to nothing.

I sent her a long honest message yesterday telling her I feel invisible, that my calls go unanswered, that I’m still blocked, that I feel like I’m no longer a priority, and asking her directly if she’s still invested in us or has become interested in other things. She saw it and hasn’t responded.

We have been through long distance before without these issues. Something has clearly shifted.

My questions for Reddit:

1. Based on this pattern does this sound like someone who is just genuinely busy with family or someone who is checked out or possibly interested in someone else?
2. When we meet next week should I have a serious conversation and give her a chance to explain or should I end it based on the pattern I’ve already seen?
3. Am I missing something or is my gut feeling valid?
4. Also there is a gift I have been saving up to buy her cuz she asked for it do I buy it or not given the situation.

For context — I’m not a jealous or controlling person. We’ve done long distance successfully before. This specific week has been completely different from anything we’ve experienced and I can’t explain it

My girlfriend (19F) and I (19M) have been together for several months. We’ve been long distance for the past six weeks while she’s been traveling — first Spain, then Portugal visiting family. We’re seeing each other next week.

While she was in Spain, everything felt consistent — regular calls, check-ins, and normal communication. The change started when she arrived in Portugal.

Over the past week:

Communication dropped significantly. She went from consistent contact to delayed or minimal replies.

Messages are often left on seen for long periods (e.g., 12+ hours).

She declines or doesn’t return my video calls.

During an argument, she blocked me on Instagram and hasn’t unblocked me.

She posted on her private story but hid it from me.

Around the same time, a new person followed her private account who I don’t recognize.

She posted a Snapchat with someone I didn’t recognize (it may be a family member, but I’m not sure).

She’s active on social media (posting, reposting, going out, getting her hair done), but not engaging much with me.

I’ve raised communication concerns before. The first time, she acknowledged it and improved. Now the same pattern has returned.

She also currently has two overdue assignments and hasn’t asked for my help this week, which is different from her usual behavior.

Most recently, I sent a message explaining the change I’ve noticed in communication and asked if she’s still engaged in the relationship. She saw the message but hasn’t responded.

We’ve done long distance before without these issues, which is why this sudden shift stands out.

**Questions:**

How would you interpret this kind of sudden change in communication and behavior?

What’s the most effective way to approach this conversation in person next week?

How do you decide whether to continue addressing a pattern like this or step back from the relationship?

My girlfriend (19F) and I (19M) have been together for a year and a half. For the past six weeks we’ve been long distance while she’s been traveling — first Spain, then Portugal visiting family. We’re meeting next week and I don’t know whether to have a serious conversation or just end it when I see her.

In Spain everything was genuinely amazing between us. The moment she left for Portugal everything shifted completely.

Here’s what’s been happening this past week:

She went from calling me consistently and checking in regularly to barely communicating at all. I’ve sent her long honest messages about how I’m feeling — this has happened more than once — and the second time she genuinely improved, but now we’re back to zero. I sit for hours waiting for responses that don’t come. She declines my video calls. She left my most recent honest message on seen for over 12 hours without responding, then came home at 1am and told me to wait while she uploads an assignment.

She blocked me on Instagram during an argument and I’m still blocked. She posted on her private story and hid me from it. A new person appeared following her private account around the same time she blocked me — someone I don’t recognize despite knowing her close circle well. She posted a Snapchat with someone I didn’t recognize sitting next to her, though her friend suggested it could be a family member.

She’s been actively posting on social media, reposting TikToks, going out, getting her hair done — but has no time to respond to me or return my calls.

I’ve taken care of this girl genuinely. I took her to Paris and Sweden, I buy her groceries, I’m there when she’s sick, I spend real time with her, I’ve been helping her with her assignments. She has two major overdue assignments right now and hasn’t asked for my help once this week — which is unusual.

Before this week we had discussions about communication and she acknowledged the issue and improved. But now it’s back to nothing.

I sent her a long honest message yesterday telling her I feel invisible, that my calls go unanswered, that I’m still blocked, that I feel like I’m no longer a priority, and asking her directly if she’s still invested in us or has become interested in other things. She saw it and hasn’t responded.

We have been through long distance before without these issues. Something has clearly shifted.

My questions for Reddit:

1.	Based on this pattern does this sound like someone who is just genuinely busy with family or someone who is checked out or possibly interested in someone else?

2.	When we meet next week should I have a serious conversation and give her a chance to explain or should I end it based on the pattern I’ve already seen?

3.	Am I missing something or is my gut feeling valid?

4. Also there is a gift I have been saving up to buy her cuz she asked for it do I buy it or not given the situation.

For context — I’m not a jealous or controlling person. We’ve done long distance successfully before. This specific week has been completely different from anything we’ve experienced and I can’t explain it