u/Murky_Proof_1340

I’m 34F, husband is 41M, we’ve been married 8 years and have 8-month-old twins. This is my first time being a mom. My pregnancy was high-risk, so we basically stopped having sex from early on. After birth, I had a really rough postpartum—C-section recovery, twins, hormones, the whole thing.

Both my mom and MIL stayed with us for about a month “to help,” but it honestly made things worse. My MIL kept going on about how tired my husband was while I was literally recovering from surgery and trying to breastfeed two babies. There was constant tension and my husband usually sided with her (or at least didn’t really have my back). I felt super alone even in a full house.

Around month 2 postpartum things started to stabilize a bit. The first time we had sex it was extremely painful (like burning—probably hormones/pelvic floor). Since then it’s been maybe 2–3 times a month at most.

Life with twins is exhausting. I had basically no sex drive for a long time and even told him he could just masturbate if he needed to. He works a lot, leaves early, comes home exhausted and passes out on the couch half the time. Between that and the babies, sex just isn’t really happening.

Today I was using his phone (he handed it to me, I wasn’t snooping), and when I clicked on Instagram search I saw he’d been searching for multiple women in sexy outfits… like 8–10 different profiles. It wasn’t random either, there was a pattern (a certain type/lingerie).

I confronted him and told him it made me feel like shit, especially given where I’m at physically right now (gained 25kg during pregnancy, lost 10 but still have 15 to go). It made me feel unattractive and honestly kind of worthless.

His response was basically: “It’s not just your sex life that sucks, mine does too. That’s why I look when I masturbate.”

I told him we’ve been married 8 years and I didn’t even know he was into this specific thing. He said he’s told me before he wants more “sexy outfits” and fantasies. We’ve bought lingerie before and I did wear it occasionally pre-pregnancy, but he never mentioned this specific preference. Now he says he wasn’t searching for anything specific, just “sexy women,” but it really didn’t look that random to me.

I feel really hurt. Not just insecure, but almost… betrayed? And more than that, I feel like he completely dismissed my feelings. I cried and he just said I’m overreacting and that not everything is about me.

I’m 34F, husband is 41M, we’ve been married 8 years and have 8-month-old twins. This is my first time being a mom. My pregnancy was high-risk, so we basically stopped having sex from early on. After birth, I had a really rough postpartum—C-section recovery, twins, hormones, the whole thing.

Both my mom and MIL stayed with us for about a month “to help,” but it honestly made things worse. My MIL kept going on about how tired my husband was while I was literally recovering from surgery and trying to breastfeed two babies. There was constant tension and my husband usually sided with her (or at least didn’t really have my back). I felt super alone even in a full house.

Around month 2 postpartum things started to stabilize a bit. The first time we had sex it was extremely painful (like burning—probably hormones/pelvic floor). Since then it’s been maybe 2–3 times a month at most.

Life with twins is exhausting. I had basically no sex drive for a long time and even told him he could just masturbate if he needed to. He works a lot, leaves early, comes home exhausted and passes out on the couch half the time. Between that and the babies, sex just isn’t really happening.

Today I was using his phone (he handed it to me, I wasn’t snooping), and when I clicked on Instagram search I saw he’d been searching for multiple women in sexy outfits… like 8–10 different profiles. It wasn’t random either, there was a pattern (a certain type/lingerie).

I confronted him and told him it made me feel like shit, especially given where I’m at physically right now (gained 25kg during pregnancy, lost 10 but still have 15 to go). It made me feel unattractive and honestly kind of worthless.

His response was basically: “It’s not just your sex life that sucks, mine does too. That’s why I look when I masturbate.”

I told him we’ve been married 8 years and I didn’t even know he was into this specific thing. He said he’s told me before he wants more “sexy outfits” and fantasies. We’ve bought lingerie before and I did wear it occasionally pre-pregnancy, but he never mentioned this specific preference. Now he says he wasn’t searching for anything specific, just “sexy women,” but it really didn’t look that random to me.

I feel really hurt. Not just insecure, but almost… betrayed? And more than that, I feel like he completely dismissed my feelings. I cried and he just said I’m overreacting and that not everything is about me.

I’m 34F, husband is 41M, we’ve been married 8 years and have 8-month-old twins. This is my first time being a mom. My pregnancy was high-risk, so we basically stopped having sex from early on. After birth, I had a really rough postpartum—C-section recovery, twins, hormones, the whole thing.

Both my mom and MIL stayed with us for about a month “to help,” but it honestly made things worse. My MIL kept going on about how tired my husband was while I was literally recovering from surgery and trying to breastfeed two babies. There was constant tension and my husband usually sided with her (or at least didn’t really have my back). I felt super alone even in a full house.

Around month 2 postpartum things started to stabilize a bit. The first time we had sex it was extremely painful (like burning—probably hormones/pelvic floor). Since then it’s been maybe 2–3 times a month at most.

Life with twins is exhausting. I had basically no sex drive for a long time and even told him he could just masturbate if he needed to. He works a lot, leaves early, comes home exhausted and passes out on the couch half the time. Between that and the babies, sex just isn’t really happening.

Today I was using his phone (he handed it to me, I wasn’t snooping), and when I clicked on Instagram search I saw he’d been searching for multiple women in sexy outfits… like 8–10 different profiles. It wasn’t random either, there was a pattern (a certain type/lingerie).

I confronted him and told him it made me feel like shit, especially given where I’m at physically right now (gained 25kg during pregnancy, lost 10 but still have 15 to go). It made me feel unattractive and honestly kind of worthless.

His response was basically: “It’s not just your sex life that sucks, mine does too. That’s why I look when I masturbate.”

I told him we’ve been married 8 years and I didn’t even know he was into this specific thing. He said he’s told me before he wants more “sexy outfits” and fantasies. We’ve bought lingerie before and I did wear it occasionally pre-pregnancy, but he never mentioned this specific preference. Now he says he wasn’t searching for anything specific, just “sexy women,” but it really didn’t look that random to me.

I feel really hurt. Not just insecure, but almost… betrayed? And more than that, I feel like he completely dismissed my feelings. I cried and he just said I’m overreacting and that not everything is about me.

Am I overreacting?

I’m 34F, husband is 41M, we’ve been married 8 years and have 8-month-old twins. This is my first time being a mom. My pregnancy was high-risk, so we basically stopped having sex from early on. After birth, I had a really rough postpartum—C-section recovery, twins, hormones, the whole thing.

Both my mom and MIL stayed with us for about a month “to help,” but it honestly made things worse. My MIL kept going on about how tired my husband was while I was literally recovering from surgery and trying to breastfeed two babies. There was constant tension and my husband usually sided with her (or at least didn’t really have my back). I felt super alone even in a full house.

Around month 2 postpartum things started to stabilize a bit. The first time we had sex it was extremely painful (like burning—probably hormones/pelvic floor). Since then it’s been maybe 2–3 times a month at most.

Life with twins is exhausting. I had basically no sex drive for a long time and even told him he could just masturbate if he needed to. He works a lot, leaves early, comes home exhausted and passes out on the couch half the time. Between that and the babies, sex just isn’t really happening.

Today I was using his phone (he handed it to me, I wasn’t snooping), and when I clicked on Instagram search I saw he’d been searching for multiple women in sexy outfits… like 8–10 different profiles. It wasn’t random either, there was a pattern (a certain type/lingerie).

I confronted him and told him it made me feel like shit, especially given where I’m at physically right now (gained 25kg during pregnancy, lost 10 but still have 15 to go). It made me feel unattractive and honestly kind of worthless.

His response was basically: “It’s not just your sex life that sucks, mine does too. That’s why I look when I masturbate.”

I told him we’ve been married 8 years and I didn’t even know he was into this specific thing. He said he’s told me before he wants more “sexy outfits” and fantasies. We’ve bought lingerie before and I did wear it occasionally pre-pregnancy, but he never mentioned this specific preference. Now he says he wasn’t searching for anything specific, just “sexy women,” but it really didn’t look that random to me.

I feel really hurt. Not just insecure, but almost… betrayed? And more than that, I feel like he completely dismissed my feelings. I cried and he just said I’m overreacting and that not everything is about me.

Am I overreacting?

I’m 34F, husband is 41M, we’ve been married 8 years and have 8-month-old twins. This is my first time being a mom. My pregnancy was high-risk, so we basically stopped having sex from early on. After birth, I had a really rough postpartum—C-section recovery, twins, hormones, the whole thing.

Both my mom and MIL stayed with us for about a month “to help,” but it honestly made things worse. My MIL kept going on about how tired my husband was while I was literally recovering from surgery and trying to breastfeed two babies. There was constant tension and my husband usually sided with her (or at least didn’t really have my back). I felt super alone even in a full house.

Around month 2 postpartum things started to stabilize a bit. The first time we had sex it was extremely painful (like burning—probably hormones/pelvic floor). Since then it’s been maybe 2–3 times a month at most.

Life with twins is exhausting. I had basically no sex drive for a long time and even told him he could just masturbate if he needed to. He works a lot, leaves early, comes home exhausted and passes out on the couch half the time. Between that and the babies, sex just isn’t really happening.

Today I was using his phone (he handed it to me, I wasn’t snooping), and when I clicked on Instagram search I saw he’d been searching for multiple women in sexy outfits… like 8–10 different profiles. It wasn’t random either, there was a pattern (a certain type/lingerie).

I confronted him and told him it made me feel like shit, especially given where I’m at physically right now (gained 25kg during pregnancy, lost 10 but still have 15 to go). It made me feel unattractive and honestly kind of worthless.

His response was basically: “It’s not just your sex life that sucks, mine does too. That’s why I look when I masturbate.”

I told him we’ve been married 8 years and I didn’t even know he was into this specific thing. He said he’s told me before he wants more “sexy outfits” and fantasies. We’ve bought lingerie before and I did wear it occasionally pre-pregnancy, but he never mentioned this specific preference. Now he says he wasn’t searching for anything specific, just “sexy women,” but it really didn’t look that random to me.

I feel really hurt. Not just insecure, but almost… betrayed? And more than that, I feel like he completely dismissed my feelings. I cried and he just said I’m overreacting and that not everything is about me.