u/Massive_Tomato_1713

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(this is gonna be long…)

So for some context I F21 am dating F20, we haven’t been dating long but it’s going great so far.
Time jump to three years ago I was dating someone else, let’s just call her Jasmine.
Jasmine and I did not have a good relationship, it started out fine but half way through I became pretty depressed.

I lost my will to do the things I enjoyed doing, I skipped hanging out with family and friends and stayed in my room all day. Jasmine would vent to me about her issues but when I did, she told me i was overthinking or the issue wasn’t big deal. I brushed it off every time, then came the cheating. Not sex but she’d kiss people in front of me and laugh.

She made me feel stupid for being upset about it.
Once It ended I cut ties with her, I kept her on whatsapp only, purely just to contact her to get my belongings back. She kept giving excuses, her ankle is sore, she won’t have time to catch the bus, her exams are 15 months from now and she needs to study.

Stupid stuff. After months of trying I gave up. After some time, I moved on and fell in love with my gf.

I explained the situation to my gf and she was mad for me, Jasmine has some of my clothes that are worth A LOT. And i’m not a rich person at all, so if i own something that costs money, damn, that’s staying with me for generations.

My gf told me she’d go with me to get my stuff back, since the trip was apparently too far for jasmine despite how I was the only one that ever traveled to her.

We live 2 hrs away, I would always travel to her but she never did the same.

I agreed on it and texted my ex telling her this week I’ll be in the town she lives in to get my stuff back and i don’t want to hear another excuse about it.

After a couple hours she finally responded with your typical thumbs up emoji.

Three days later my gf and I got the bus and train over, we waited outside the station at our meet up spot for over 30 minutes, I was second thinking of just showing up to her house but I personally didn’t want to see all that again.

After an eternity she showed up with her sister, her brother and her boyfriend and her sisters boyfriend.
Whipee…

I got along with her sister and her sisters bf, always have, her brother on the other hand was always very shy, he looked it in that moment too.

It was like bringing a gun to a knife fight, the 5 of them against two of us over some clothes and headphones.

Jasmine handed me the bag, looking between me and my gf like it was some weird staring contest.
Then she started asking how i am, glad that i’ve moved on. Bitch, i’ve been moved on.

I was emotionally done with that relationship with jasmine 5 months before It officially ended.

I made sure to look through the bag just as we were about to turn away and leave and that’s when I noticed my sweater wasn’t there. This isn’t an expensive sweater but it was hand made by my nan who has passed away, I never gave it to jasmine, I just left it there the last time I seen her.

I immediately asked about it and she looked all confused saying I never left a sweater at hers, I told her I did and she knows how much it means to me.

She started whispering to her sister as they both giggled, while jasmines bf was doing some weird chest puff thing making his neck look wide enough as a tree, for a skinny dude it looked weird.

Atp I just started getting agitated, I’ve only after starting ADHD meds and one of the side effects is low patience and agitation. And boy was that happening.

My gf was rubbing my hand to relax me but jasmine giggling to her sister about it was pissing me off.

I asked again, where is it.

After some giggles and back and forth she told me she sold it. She sold the sweater my dead grandmother made for me, that she KNOWS means so much to me.

I felt like I wanted to cry, breakdown or something.
I yelled at her that it meant so much to me, and she’s being a petty cheating fool for doing such a thing. She immediately yelled back saying I’m making a show of us all and i’m being disrespectful of the people around us waiting on their train.

I called her a few names, cheater, Bitch yada yada.
I’m not a violent person, nor would I ever name call someone EVER, but in this moment I felt like crumbling. My nan and I were very close when I was growing up, I spent most of the weekdays with her after school. The 3 years before she passed she was immobile, she couldn’t speak or eat and was practically carved into the bed in her nursing home.

I had brought jasmine to see her with me too while we were together. She knows how much she means to me.

My gf cut in saying it’s illegal to sell an item without the consent of the other party, and that I have screenshots proving it’s mine and that I did not give consent for it to be sold. My gf studies law, win win.

Her brother cut in saying we’re making a big deal out of a sweater and that I should be able to have my nan in my heart not in something I wear. I actually lost it, I walked away, grabbing my bag of stuff and told her, I’m contacting the gardai, so find a way to get that back by the end of the week.

I was on edge for the whole ride home, I was so pissed off with her, AITAH?

I wish this didn’t sound so fake but holy shit idek what to do anymore.
My older sister is dating my exs dad…i have so many questions but my sisters been brushing them all off.
AOI for feeling like this? The relationship ended like 4 years ago when we were 17, immature relationship but I also learned a lot in it too. It ended messy on both sides and we blocked each other.

I found out at dinner, my sister randomly brought up she’s dating someone a little older. She’s 30 so I assume he was like 5-7 years older or something but then she showed me a photo and I knew exactly who he was. My gf is pretty pissed off too, I just don’t even know what to do

EDIT: didn’t realise more info was needing but i see why. My sister and my ex and her family have interacted a lot while my ex and I dated, Some-tomes our families would all have dinner together or all go out for drinks (this was when my exs dad was still married- he’s divorced now). When the relationship had ended I talked to my sister all about it and how it ended on such bad terms and she was there for me the whole time. They didn’t meet on Tinder or any dating apps, they bumped into each other whilst shopping and caught up after.

He’s also like 30 years older than her…Idk I just feel strange about it all. I’m not gonna try some weird brain game and try break them up, it’s her life and she can do as she pleases I just feel weird idk. And the reason my gf is annoyed about it is cause my ex was a bit emotional abusive towards the end of the relationship, randomly ghosting me, blocking me for no reason or just being really mean one day then nice the next.

I’ll be travelling to north Africa in two months with some friends and a few want to visit Tunisia.
I’ve seen the sights online and they look insanely beautiful but then I also found out Lgbt is illegal over there. I myself am a lesbian and i’ve got short hair, pretty masculine too.

My friends suggested I try to look like a man when we go over but If i speak i’ll definitely sound like a woman. I’ve researched a bit online and they’re pretty strict on their laws, even with tourists, I seen online, tourists can be imprisoned to up to three years for it too…I guess i’m just a little scared about it, I’ve had my fair share of homophobia in Ireland but tunisia sounds a whole lot harder than a few name callings, as it’s legal and well shown over here.

I guess i’m a little on the fence yk?

I’ll be travelling to north Africa in two months with some friends and a few want to visit Tunisia.
I’ve seen the sights online and they look insanely beautiful but then I also found out Lgbt is illegal over there. I myself am a lesbian and i’ve got short hair, pretty masculine too.

My friends suggested I try to look like a man when we go over but If i speak i’ll definitely sound like a woman. I’ve researched a bit online and they’re pretty strict on their laws, even with tourists, I seen online, tourists can be imprisoned to up to three years for it too…I guess i’m just a little scared about it, I’ve had my fair share of homophobia in dublin but tunisia sounds a whole lot harder than a few beatings and name calling.

I guess i’m a little on the fence yk?

Before anyone starts coming at me let me clarify one thing, i’m not the boss of clubs, i don’t decide who gets entree and who doesn’t, im just a club go-er with an opinion.

The area I live in has a few clubs, most of which are over ran by roadmen (dudes that wear matching tracksuits and usually carry knives). I usually always go to the same club when i’m out, The George. It’s a pretty well known lgbt club/bar in the area.

99% of people that go to the club are lgbt, however there are a few hetros that go with their gay friends which idrc about since i’ve brought straight friends before too.

What I do care about is groups of straight people infiltrating safe spaces for people in the lgbt community.

The amount of times i’ve had men in the george come up to me and my friends and ask to makeout or something (we’re all lesbians), we’d obviously say no and the guys would act all depressed. But when a gay man approaches one of them, they start throwing a fit.

Violence has skyrocketed in that club bc of straight groups coming in. That club used to be a fun night out with good music and good people and now when we’re going and leaving, we’re constantly looking around to make sure no one is gonna come after us with knives.

There’s hundreds of bars and clubs that aren’t lgbt but they always seem to gravitate towards them for some reason.

Last month they had a lesbian night where there was a drag show, drag bingo and games and such.

Around 70% of people in there were straight men.

Growing up as a lesbian I always noticed how some men have the idea that they can turn a woman straight, how they haven’t met him yet so there’s still a chance. And while some men give up others don’t. There’s also a huge market regarding porn where videos are titled as such “lesbian and man” or “turning her straight”.

However, I’ve always noticed, only in the last few years, the fetishisation over gay men, from straight women. I haven’t yet heard of a woman trying to get with a gay man but i’ve seen the fanfics, the stories and heard straight women talk about wanting to marry two gay men.

Both sides are equally wrong in my opinion, though I’d draw the line at trying to turn the other straight.

I was out with a friend of mine in temple bar the other day getting off our bus. She’s from Pakistan btw. She’s grown up in dublin so has a fairly thick accent too. As we were walking through the crowds this man blocked our way, kept moving side to side not letting us pass. I honestly just assumed it was an american asshole so we turned around to head the other way but he blocked that way too.

I’m pretty masc presenting but i’m not a dude and this guy could easily beat us both so I said pretty calmly ‘would you mind moving out of the way please’. He just laughed and told my friend to go back to her country.

I was honestly shocked AF. He’s definitely an irish fella (not american but still an asshole). My friend rolled her eyes which just pissed him off.

He started going on about how she’s stealing the jobs of irish people and making ireland into herland…?

First off she’s 18, there’s not many jobs she can ‘steal’ from someone who’s choosing not to work.

I could tell this wasn’t her first experience with a xenophobic asshole. I told him to shut up and ask the government for a better job then. A man nearby stepped in and told us to head on our way as he talked to the nativist. We were pretty greatful to him.

Anyone notice how as kids boys were always faster, always given roles as ‘carrying tables’ or helping with the ‘heavy stuff’, not giving girls a chance.

From a very young age girls are taught boys are always faster, boys will always be better at sports. So they separated them. The school i went to only had dance club for girls. Boys had soccer, basketball, tennis and a whole other long list of sports. I’m 21 so that wasn’t donkey years ago either.

I hear so many grown men now who complain about women’s sport, who complain about women in sport. I honestly believe it’s stemmed from early childhood and If parents didn’t give boys the idea they’re above women in sports, women in sports would be common, the same level as men in sports.

And we wouldn’t need to call it the woman’s league or woman’s soccer etc it would just be soccer. We are so far behind it’s like we’re repeating history

I’d like to be a crime investigator or something within that field of work.

I’m 20, 21 in july, a woman. I’ve ADHD and autism but I don’t think that’s something that’s stopping me.

I didn’t do well on my leaving cert, I had undiagnosed ADHD and couldn’t focus, didn’t have the willpower to attend classes or care enough for it. I’ve only started 10mg adhd meds there last week and haven’t seen much improvement but i’ve been told once I move up to 20 or 30 I’ll be doing much better in regards to focusing and taking care of myself and life better.

I’m just wondering if anyone here works as a gardai and how it is for them etc. I know I need to become a gardai first for 2-5 years max before I even think about any other role regarding crime investigations.

Anyone?

(Edit: i got 251 points on my leaving cert)

I’ve to get a swab test and started looking online for a good gynaecologist within my area but all I could find were men…?

I’ve nothing against men, I just wouldn’t feel too comfortable with one between my legs and tools up there. I was second thinking of ordering the at home kit from the HSE but i’ve heard a few mixed reviews, most women saying an in office test is much better and results are cleaner.

Anyone know of any good clinics near kildare with women doctors?

every month or so uber takes €5.99 from my bank account, i don’t use the app anymore and i don’t remember subscribing or anything like that. I got my account back but can’t figure out where the money is being taken for. How do i stop this?