u/Lucky_Middle_5525

"My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward."

Scientists have proven that when a man feels unwell, he looks for his wife.

And when he fine, feels happy and relaxed, his wife suddenly wants to find him.

I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue.

I was surprised.

Australians usually boo meringue.

Baby praying mantis: “Dad, who do we pray to?”

Dad mantis: “That depends on the religion.”

“Wait… bugs have different religions?”

“Of course, son… we’re in sects.”

An old blacksmith relized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting.

"Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do."

One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil.

"Get the hammer over there, he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."

Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

Can anyone advise on Spice Jet ops?

Are they fully functional?

Reduced operational?

Number of aircraft in use?

Any ground/ flying staff made redundant?

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

Went to the doctors yesterday with a suspicious looking mole.

He said they all look like that and I should have left him in my garden.

Me: "I'm still tired from all the crossfit this morning."

My co-worker: "It's pronounced 'croissant' and you ate 4 of them."

There was a Mexican magician. He said he’ll disappear on the count of three. He said uno, dos, *poof*… he disappeared without a tres.

😂