u/Intelligent_Bit_8635

i’ll start with mine — my Hinge date queued up at Bakehouse HK to get egg tarts for me before we met up for our first date in SG. he was flying back from a business trip that day.

edit: we’ve been together since!

hi all, would really appreciate some honest, grounded perspectives from parents in Singapore who are in a similar stage or have gone through this:

partner and i have a combined household income of about $21k/month (1k included is food allowance)

current setup roughly looks like this:
- ~$6k mortgage (private; we recently put about $500k into the downpayment from savings)
- emergency fund set aside
- $80k currently invested in stocks atm, still growing

in the future we’d budget for:
- weekly cleaner
- mostly cook at home
- gym membership
- 2 mid-range trips a year
- normal day-to-day spending (transport, groceries, misc)
-

not planning on private childcare at the moment, open to anchor operators.

we are trying to understand how realistic it is to comfortably have a child in Singapore with this setup that still allows:
- financial stability (no constant stress)
- maintaining some quality of life (e.g. occasional travel, gym, etc.)
- not having to cut everything back drastically
- being able to provide a decent quality of life for the child

for those who already have kids here, would you be open to sharing a rough monthly breakdown? eg:
- childcare / infant care
- helper / caregiving support (if any)
- groceries / household expenses
- medical / insurance
- enrichment / classes
- any other recurring costs that added up more than expected

thank you so much

i would love to read your stories and at the same time spread some positivity :)

mine - someone shared their umbrella with me once when we were waiting to cross the road during a heavy rain. it was during lunch break and i really needed to get back to my workplace fast.

moving forward, i also did the same for two other strangers. kindness does spread.

“at least i am not going to Geylang/Orchard Plaza.”

i’ve read and heard people saying the above.

am i the only one who finds this a huge red flag?

genuine question because this mindset really doesn’t sit right with me.

how would you feel if someone told you they need to watch porn to “release their urges”… otherwise they might end up cheating?

because to me, that doesn’t sound like honesty, but a warning.

it’s basically saying:
\\> “if i don’t have this outlet, i can’t trust myself to stay faithful.”

and that raises a bigger issue than porn itself. it’s not even about whether watching porn is okay or not. it’s the idea that their self-control and loyalty are somehow dependent on it.

i get that people have sexual urges. that’s normal. but framing it like cheating is a possible outcome if those urges aren’t managed a certain way feels… off. almost like pre-justifying bad behaviour.

it makes me wonder:
\\- is this actually about porn, or about lack of self-control?
\\- is this honesty, or just a convenient excuse?
\\- and if someone thinks like this, can you really feel secure with them?

curious how others see this: especially from both sides. would you brush this off, or would it change how you view the person entirely?

when singapore gets overwhelming (feels like being trapped in a boiler room sometimes) how do you actually cope?

not talking about just the heat (well, maybe a little).

more like the constant pressure to keep up, stay productive, not fall behind. the exhaustion that builds quietly until one day you just feel… soulless.

curious how people here “touch grass” to manage work stress, social pressure, the pace of life that never really slows down. therapy? running at 6am? crying in the shower? no judgment.

what actually helps you reset when sg life starts to feel suffocating?

let’s redefine this? seeing the abbreviation of SES popping up ALL the time in the singaporean context. what do people of today define this as?

11 years as an early childhood educator… i don’t even know where to begin.

it’s been so long since i properly journaled my reflections about my career. partly because life kept moving, and partly because i wasn’t sure what to say. and linkedin always feels like the place where everyone has it together… where careers look clean and linear and certain.

mine hasn’t been any of those things. and maybe that’s exactly why i’m writing this today.

i used to count the years in my career.
“1st teacher’s day!” - 2014 during an internship
“5th teacher’s day!”
“8th teacher’s day!”

somewhere in the last year, i quietly crossed more than ten years in teaching. there was no fanfare. no moment where it all clicked. just me, realising in my heart: “oh. it’s been a decade.”

i started on a law degree. i left. people thought i was mad, but said, “well done following your passion!” maybe i was mad. but indeed, i followed something i couldn’t explain at the time, switched to early childhood education, and showed up to my first classroom in 2015 with more heart than sense.

i’ve never regretted it. i might have struggled with the idea that we as teachers aren’t compensated enough, yes, but my heart for teaching has always burnt wild.

along the way i took a gap year, flew to ireland, completed my honours degree. and subsequently was offered a place to do my master’s in early intervention at trinity college dublin. i was so proud of that.

and then covid swallowed the world whole, and i gave it up. came back to singapore. came back to the kids. told myself it was the right call and kept moving.

teaching has always been bigger than a classroom for me. the children that stay on my mind the most are the ones the world overlooks… the underprivileged, the unseen. showing up for them never felt like work. it felt like the whole point.

but i’d be very honest that ten years is a long time to give your heart to something that feels like it takes more that it gives in this reality. and i won’t pretend it has always been easy.

there are seasons in this profession that quietly wear me down, not because the love fades, but because loving something deeply doesn’t make it weightless.

my love for children, my love for teaching — that has never moved an inch. but i think after a decade, i’m allowed to pause, breathe, and reflect on the road behind me before i look ahead.

here’s to over ten years in this title people say it’s noble. to the little faces that made it all mean something. and to whatever the next season holds.

and if you’re an educator reading this and you understand this feeling — i see you. what we do is real, even when it doesn’t feel like enough.

oh, and happy Labour day, everyone :)

Lai lai lai, we know space is a constraint in Sg, the more space you want the more expensive it is. some are forced to stay w in laws due to financial constraints, some love big families so to them it’s the more the merrier kinda situation, some are waiting for their marital homes to be ready etc.

PLEASE SHED SOME LIGHT for the young couples / spouses to be 💡🤪

i’ll start with mine 😂

guy was an air crew, didn’t look bad. matched on dating app but vibe eventually changed because his texts grew more despo to meet? even after i turned down a few times saying i was busy he saw my ig story and replied saying his office was near. i said i wasn’t gonna have much time, he said he’d wait. seemed sincere la, gave it a chance then.

so i saw him probs two hours later for a short meet over a drink. before meeting, he said he’d wait for me at the mrt exit. i thought wa ok maybe he’s not as bad as i’d assume him to be. but first thing he did when he saw me was gazed down to my ass.

it was that moment i knew this was gonna be the last time i ever would see him. i sat through 30 mins of chat and made excuse to leave. chat was also mostly about how he wanted a girl who could go through hardships with him (he was starting from zero then).

when i said i had to go, he asked, “huh but i haven’t had dinner, can i eat first?”

me: “er.. ok.” (it was so awkward i didn’t know how to say no.)

i stared at him eating his dinner. when he was done, we finally walked to mrt. he tried putting his hand over my shoulder and i ducked immediately saying, “i don’t like people touching me when we aren’t close”

he tried again after a few steps of walking.

i ducked again.

then he turned to me and asked,

“do you think i am f**kable?”

“no.”

“huh why not?”

“not for me.”

LOL i gave him a pity pat on the shoulder at the mrt platform as a goodbye and that was the end of my interaction with him EVER :’)

please keep your hands and your intrusive thoughts in your head 😭

edit: he lost his air crew job, starting i-forgot-what job in corporate. this was 2022 i think. im just doing a walk down (bad) memory lane in the middle of the night 😂

EDIT 2: I JUST RECALLED HIM SUDDENLY ASKING ME while we walked to the restaurant: “So.. how many guys from the app have you seen so far?”

me: “you’re probably the third?”

him: “huh? if i knew i wasn’t the first guy you’d see from the app, i wouldn’t have come out.”

SIR YOU OK? i don’t know you and don’t owe you anything 😂