r/SGParent

Hello! Has anyone also read Unease by Teo Yeo Yen? Same author who wrote This is What Inequality Looks Like

Thought it was quite a sobering read.
But also it’s quite pessimistic for me? The way she described how even the Upper Middle class families in Singapore face unease and anxieties. Lots of points on how Singapore’a education system is the main cause of distress among families and parents.

My takeaway to not be trapped in this Unease:
- wealthy enough to buy your way out of the system
- be childless
- move to another country w a slower/relax pace of life

What takeaways did you have from the book?

About to have 2nd kid, in my early 30s. Husband and I have discussed multiple times about me being a SAHM to manage the household/kids/instill values/take a less demanding job but that would cut my pay significantly.

As a family we can afford it, but… there’s also the worry about isolation, financial security and how to fill my days. Thoughts!!

hi all, would really appreciate some honest, grounded perspectives from parents in Singapore who are in a similar stage or have gone through this:

partner and i have a combined household income of about $21k/month (1k included is food allowance)

current setup roughly looks like this:
- ~$6k mortgage (private; we recently put about $500k into the downpayment from savings)
- emergency fund set aside
- $80k currently invested in stocks atm, still growing

in the future we’d budget for:
- weekly cleaner
- mostly cook at home
- gym membership
- 2 mid-range trips a year
- normal day-to-day spending (transport, groceries, misc)
-

not planning on private childcare at the moment, open to anchor operators.

we are trying to understand how realistic it is to comfortably have a child in Singapore with this setup that still allows:
- financial stability (no constant stress)
- maintaining some quality of life (e.g. occasional travel, gym, etc.)
- not having to cut everything back drastically
- being able to provide a decent quality of life for the child

for those who already have kids here, would you be open to sharing a rough monthly breakdown? eg:
- childcare / infant care
- helper / caregiving support (if any)
- groceries / household expenses
- medical / insurance
- enrichment / classes
- any other recurring costs that added up more than expected

thank you so much

11 years as an early childhood educator… i don’t even know where to begin.

it’s been so long since i properly journaled my reflections about my career. partly because life kept moving, and partly because i wasn’t sure what to say. and linkedin always feels like the place where everyone has it together… where careers look clean and linear and certain.

mine hasn’t been any of those things. and maybe that’s exactly why i’m writing this today.

i used to count the years in my career.
“1st teacher’s day!” - 2014 during an internship
“5th teacher’s day!”
“8th teacher’s day!”

somewhere in the last year, i quietly crossed more than ten years in teaching. there was no fanfare. no moment where it all clicked. just me, realising in my heart: “oh. it’s been a decade.”

i started on a law degree. i left. people thought i was mad, but said, “well done following your passion!” maybe i was mad. but indeed, i followed something i couldn’t explain at the time, switched to early childhood education, and showed up to my first classroom in 2015 with more heart than sense.

i’ve never regretted it. i might have struggled with the idea that we as teachers aren’t compensated enough, yes, but my heart for teaching has always burnt wild.

along the way i took a gap year, flew to ireland, completed my honours degree. and subsequently was offered a place to do my master’s in early intervention at trinity college dublin. i was so proud of that.

and then covid swallowed the world whole, and i gave it up. came back to singapore. came back to the kids. told myself it was the right call and kept moving.

teaching has always been bigger than a classroom for me. the children that stay on my mind the most are the ones the world overlooks… the underprivileged, the unseen. showing up for them never felt like work. it felt like the whole point.

but i’d be very honest that ten years is a long time to give your heart to something that feels like it takes more that it gives in this reality. and i won’t pretend it has always been easy.

there are seasons in this profession that quietly wear me down, not because the love fades, but because loving something deeply doesn’t make it weightless.

my love for children, my love for teaching — that has never moved an inch. but i think after a decade, i’m allowed to pause, breathe, and reflect on the road behind me before i look ahead.

here’s to over ten years in this title people say it’s noble. to the little faces that made it all mean something. and to whatever the next season holds.

and if you’re an educator reading this and you understand this feeling — i see you. what we do is real, even when it doesn’t feel like enough.

oh, and happy Labour day, everyone :)