u/Human-Inevitable8816

Your irl karma matters more than your reddit karma. Be nice, touch grass, remember what's actually important.

I made a post explaining that I gained karma quickly, which I was happy about, because I was making posts I genuinely like. I was flooded with downvotes and criticism about karma farming because I liked posting cat pics and sunset videos. Y'all ---- WE NEED TO TOUCH GRASS. I started defending myself because I've made more complex posts, then realized it doesn't matter because no one should be this upset about cat pics and sunset videos anyway.

Long story short my ex-girlfriend made the entire planet f*cking uninhabitable to my species so I had to skedaddle. For context, she was in a war against my terrorist parents. She sent me off in a pod, into outer space, where I got stuck in a wormhole and sent to the future, but I still love her anyway. Never thought I'd see her again, so I settled down with a nice woman (current wife). However, my wife schemed behind my back to take me back in time, where my ex-girlfriend is, for a mission (story time later). Obviously I still love my ex and when I'm around her, I can't help but emotionally cheat on my wife. AITA?

I didn't like the plot with future Mon-El from the beginning, but as I kept watching, I realized I disliked the show itself for more reasons. The drama doesn't make as much sense, the characters seem more one dimensional, it just overall felt very different to me. It's validating to know my suspicions were right and the directors changed, but now I'm depressed because I thought I had more seasons of a show I was genuinely enjoying. Anyone else?

edit: I didn't realize why the executive producer (not director) was fired, the reason is definitely valid. This was my first time looking into the supergirl fan base/behind the scenes, thanks everyone for explaining!

Currently 24. I was hospitalized between the ages 14-15. I had crohn's, meaning holes in my intestinal lining, internal hemorrhaging, blood transfusions, feeding tube, weight loss including muscle loss, hair loss, etc. Unbeknownst to me, I was nominated by my nurses, and made a wish to go to Paris with my family. We were given an awesome 2 week vacation, had to take pictures in the t-shirts and everything.

As for the hospitalization, after the physical discomfort became normal, the mental discomfort of being stuck for so long in four white walls and fluorescent lighting was worse.

add on: Yes, we often survive. when I searched "Make a Wish" in reddit, it was a bunch of strong opinions about the foundation being useless because the kids weren't gonna make it anyway, etc., and of course I know how most people feel irl ("isn't that for terminal kids?" being said to me and such), so I figured an AMA would be good to address misconception. just wanted to share the experience.

edit after seeing the rage bait: I almost forgot why I don't like talking about this experience IRL. This was a truly horrendous time in my life, far worse than I put into details here. Make a Wish only gives wishes to EXTREMELY dire, life threatening situations. The wish I got was truly so beneficial to me at that time, because I felt hopeless, unseen, etc., especially as a young person experiencing it. Criticizing the organization is completely different than criticizing the people it helps. I'm open minded here, just wanna share the full experience.

Spent a year offline, recently doomscrolled for hours & realized what it did to my brain.

After simply reading a title or caption, my first thought became the likely top comment, next the likely rage bait, and then (rarely, when I paused enough) my actual reflective thoughts. Very quickly I didn't even need to open the comments to have this emotionally activating thought process. This was NOT on purpose; it was an overhaul of my internal landscape. My internal monologue became more determinative, reactive, etc., basically more in line with every type of cognitive distortion (should statements, all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralizing, mind reading, etc.) even when I was offline & thinking about other things.

I was addicted to observing these emotionally activating dialogues of comebacks, generalizations, and judgements play out. The addiction factor itself is huge: anything that causes addictive feelings worsens anxiety.

I know a lot of us end up doomscrolling to escape irl problems, but especially for folks already suffering from anxiety disorders, this makes it way worse.

When I turn my phone alarm off, notifications are from news sources or family & friends. I can reflect while immediately starting my morning routine. My stress is relevant to today; I'm thinking through my approach and feelings. By the time I'm done, my mind is clear and the tasks at hand are straight forward.

When I see strangers or people in my community, they're all interesting & unique. I can't read their mind. Everyone else has their own private inner world; the only outside feelings I'm concerned about are my loved ones'.

When it's dark and I'm alone again, I get to journal and reflect. I get to continue developing my sense of self, my observations about life, my interest in books & movies. I don't feel lonely because it's natural to be alone at this time.

I spent a year without social media, and became more stable, mindful, creative, & interested in my life naturally. I returned in the last week and already know that it's time to stop again. There might be some good things on here, but even just paying attention to my cat is better for me. Take care y'all :,)

As a teen, I was hospitalized for a year because of an autoimmune disease, meaning I had no access to friends, nature, food (on a feeding tube), etc., and after the physical discomfort lost my attention, the mental/existential discomfort became worse. I picked up books about Buddhism by Thich Nhat Han, a respected buddhist monk who often writes to a non-buddhist audience interested in learning the practical basics. I found it profoundly beautiful, inherently true, and most importantly, instantly relieving and applicable even to the most desolate circumstances. Close to mid 20s, I still read his & similar work, and practice the four noble truths/eightfold path.

I have friends in the buddhist community and admire the culture, but don't personally practice anything that's not simple and inherently evident - that's where the organized religious and historical aspects of buddhism lose me and CBT comes in. I also found profound healing in cognitive behavioral therapy practices (I feel that CBT and noble truths are the same in essence, but that's a different topic).

During everyday discussions about self-concept, self-awareness, ego, how others should be treated, etc., my instinct is to relate it to mindfulness or CBT. Whenever I'm lost in anxiety about myself or my relationships, my instinct is to relate it to mindfulness and these practical/moral frameworks (history of difficult parent and other relationships, also a different topic). I worry that this closes me off, that I'm not truly living my beliefs deeply enough, that I should speak up more about my experience because it was so important to me, that I'm coming off as preachy and self righteous, etc., in an anxious loop.

My current solution is trying to *live* the practice more than I speak of / label it, which is actually much harder. I'm not a master, expert, authority, etc., and don't want to come off as preaching. I also don't want to completely lose this part of myself because it's almost become synonymous with my inner child, especially when faced with manipulative or demeaning situations. Any advice on respecting myself, respecting others, sharing personal insight in relationships without preachiness, similar situations, etc.?

It commonly insinuates something along the lines of "think about the consequences" or "check your tone," but I think it can mean: "come to a conclusion about your own thoughts, and make sure they are truly yours and align with your values."

Everyone has automatic thoughts/reactions that might be appropriate and valid, but it also matters that we are honest and proud of what we say. :)

Insights:

What stood out to me most was that my first reaction after simply reading a post title became exactly whatever the top comment likely was, and next the likely rage bait, and then maybe in last place the thoughts that come from my own experience. I absorbed and acted by the unspoken internet rules of thinking & communication faster than I was even able to articulate them and how they were affecting me. My words became more determinative, reactive, etc., basically more in line with every type of cognitive distortion (should statements, all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralizing, mind reading, etc.), bringing anxiety/depression. This wasn't purposeful, it was an overhaul of my internal mindset. At first it was enticing because I genuinely didn’t know what to expect, but even after the novelty wore off I was addicted to observing these emotionally activating dialogues I don’t care about.

After relapsing into back to back days of doomscrolling, my internal monologue was brain rot: not just content, but style. It affected the way I thought about everything.

Edit: to me, "doomscrolling" describes the addictive side of social media use, usually including brain rot, rage bait, repeated exposure to a simplified idea, etc.

24F. it's well known that social media has addictive qualities and ruins attention / self esteem / emotional regulation proportional to the amount it's used. i deleted instagram and tiktok over a year ago and felt significantly better in all of those areas; it was genuinely one of the most dramatic changes I've ever made in my life. my screen time was probably similar to a lot of users too , like multiple hours a day, which in hindsight is insane to me because i feel ill using it for more than 20 minutes now. I've still used pinterest and youtube because i want to stay aware of internet stuff as it's literally relevant to social awareness and p*litics unfortunately. it's really nice to hear about trends after the fact and analyzed in a video essay rather than personally experienced with the haunting question of "wait, should i do this too?" actually !

in the past several days I started using reddit because I was reflecting on how much I've healed from various challenges in my life and wanted to give advice or debate or yk have reddit conversations. also im procrastinating something and it gives me fake productivity dopamine hits. I've used it excessively and have notes. the most authentic , mindful , contemplative comments i make get the least amount of attention. however, if i say the first conditioned reply that comes to mind, like the one that comes into my head alongside a visual of the top commenter saying the same thing probably because i'm actually recalling a real memory from my endless scrolling of this exact dialogue being played out, it gets attention ! reinforcing this process more ! and on the darker side, my brain is producing the most triggering or critical comment too. i don't even need to open the comments, i can rage bait then validate myself in less than 30 seconds using previously stored dialogue!

the actual dialogue i experience irl is not like this, i stg. its so much more unexpected, nuanced, requiring more brain cells , makes good use of emotional regulation skills because I'm not entering with fight/flight then getting that instinct reinforced , my brain takes different and creative pathways and im able to be calmly present with the other person and we can progress the conversation *meaningfully*. not to sound like one of those bros but SOUND THE ALARMS OH MY GOD !!!! WE ARE TURNING INTO SHEEP!

Sometimes it just scratches an itch. for example:

- I will never be perfect

- everyone suffers

- I will fail hundreds of times before I succeed

- this thought spiral is probably meaningless

- there will always be things to feel bad about

and my favorite iykyk:

- omg you people can't do anything

Months after breaking up I was still having mental arguments with their critical voice in my head. I was healed enough to feel justified as I argued against it, but wanted to heal more and disregard that dialogue completely. I'm sharing the journal entry that helped me the most with this. This felt like the healing after healing for me. Hopefully this is helpful to someone. :

"Abusive people often weaponize perception: you're trained to imagine how they see you, because their perception used to control your reality." (unknown source but helpful quote to start off, reminding me that the critical voice is no longer real, just echos of a burden I was trained to carry).

hurt response: I need to prove that I wasn't crazy; that I was mistreated and justified.

healed response: I was stuck in a traumatic bond, and trying to prove myself is a symptom of that.

hurt response: They will come around to realize my worth someday because I was right about being mistreated.

healed response: I'm healed because I don't need their validation to trust my experience.

hurt response: I need proof that they suffered the consequences of mistreating me without remorse.

healed response: I'm not responsible for monitoring their healing/accountability.

hurt response: My sacrifices and care were even more pointless if they don't remember or miss me for them.

healed response: Their perception does not change my reality, and it's their loss if they don't recognize the care they were given.

hurt response: I need to over-correct and prove their criticisms of me were wrong or unjustified.

healed response: A broken clock is still right twice a day, and if there's anything I need to heal about myself that they happened to point out, I can do it on my own time.

hurt response: I need to prove I'm doing well without them to prove they were mistreating me and holding me back, not the other way around.

healed response: My desire to succeed and overcome challenges will always be a constant in my life, unrelated to them.