u/GirliePopGoblin

So a couple weeks ago I posted about meeting a guy and how our date went so well only to post a couple days later that it didn’t work out. I’ve been a little depressed ever since and I can feel it getting worse so I was just hoping to hear some encouraging stories of how you all found lovely partners and maybe some advice of how to do that?

I’m trying to dust myself off and get back in the saddle but dating apps just feel so draining to use. I can’t keep dropping hints to friends and family because all I’m getting from them is to have patience and it will happen when I least expect it etc. I’ve also tried to ask directly with no luck, so whatever you have time to say would be greatly appreciated. I just want some happy stories to keep my mind busy before bed, thank you!

It’s late at night, I’m in bed, and my mind is racing with all the thoughts. The biggest thought that always seems to linger is how much I realize that I’ve missed physical connection with other people. Growing up my family were the group that like forced hugs on you? So I never liked physically touch growing up because it wasn’t because I wanted to hug them but because I had to.

Now that I’m older the thought of having a physical connection, not necessarily intimacy just like being held, cuddling, etc, sounds so nice. Even to just have a hand to hold? I feel like that would solve a lot of my issues. Unfortunately I recently got to experience this but for one night only and over the next few days I was essentially ghosted.

That night and sharing my bed with someone else was so nice, I slept so good. The comfort I had been searching for had finally found me, but now I’m worried that I won’t get to experience it again. I can already feel myself falling into a depressive episode but I just don’t feel like fighting it anymore. Like I need to be sad about it, but I don’t have time to be sad? I hope this makes sense.

I’m starting something new for myself and that is solo outings! All my friends are either too far or are now too busy to hang out so I’m doing what I want to do! I’m starting off with a solo trip to the movies, I will let you know how it goes!!

UPDATE: I’m fresh out of the movie theater and I have to say I love it! I was really nervous to go by myself because of anxiety and what will people think etc, BUT I chose a day that I knew wouldn’t be busy and honestly the teenage boy behind the counter seemed more embarrassed than me so that’s a win in my book! I went and saw The Devil Wears Prada 2, I love the first one and couldn’t find anyone to go with me (chick flicks are my favorite). The first half of the movie was okay, definitely not what I thought it was but the second half was great! I think I’m going to make this a thing for me and treat myself to a movie once a month. The price wasn’t bad for me I think it cost me like $15 including snacks, Monday night is a great time to go to the movies!

I hate this time of year, and it’s because of all the weddings. This is the second wedding that I’ve been a part of the wedding party and my third wedding attended. I love supporting my friends and family but god do I hate being the ONLY SINGLE MEMBER OF THE WEDDING PARTY. What I wouldn’t give to experience some type of romantic relationship before I die. Am I being dramatic yes, but do I care no. Growing up all I would hear is that my other older family members were set up with someone by their friends, why did we do away with that?! I work with old people, I live in an older established community, and all my friends are in committed relationships. Where am I supposed to meet people? I’m too broke to go out and “meet” people. Anyway I’m just complaining because I’m tired of going to family/friend gatherings alone, it’s been worse now that my mom passed. I’m worried I’ll be alone like she was.

Sorry for the weird rant/vent, maybe this isn’t a shared experience

My job requires me to work outside some days and I’m looking for shorts to help keep me cool this summer but also work appropriate. Our uniform allows khaki, black, or denim for pants so I’m really looking for a cargo or Bermuda short. I saw that L.L Bean has some longer shorts (specifically the women’s comfort stretch shorts, cargo 7”) and was wondering what people thought of them or if they are a popular choice? I have an apron belly and don’t want to look weird in shorts, I also desperately want to get some color this summer I’m basically a ghost (if you have tips for that I would also appreciate it).

I’m not sure if I’m just not using bumble correctly or if I’m shooting for the stars with potential (this is probably true but let me be delusional for this post please) matches, but I never seem to have success on bumble. I try my best to make sure my photos and prompts are true to myself but also leaving some things open ended to start conversation.

Within a day or so it’s screaming at me that I have +50 likes but yet I never seem to match with any of them? I try my best to be realistic with who would make a good partner for me, but that’s hard to do when all I’m shown is very attractive people or people who are on a completely different planet than me lifestyle wise. No hate to y’all but I’m maybe average, dare I say even below average, and I would like some mid ass men in my line up please even better if they are also into grandparent coded activities.

I’m just looking for advice on whether bumble is worth it or not? I’m already on hinge and I’ve managed a couple dates as well as one date through woo plus as embarrassing as that is (no shade to those who use it, it’s just so gimmicky). For those who are inevitably going to comment to meet people outside of dating apps, I’m trying. Work isn’t a great option because I work with teenagers or the elderly with no in between. My friends are all in relationships and apparently don’t feel the want to help me out, but they occasionally try. Im trying to get out more by myself but I’m broke and the world’s broken right now.

I understand this is based off of one man’s behavior, but I do believe this is a trend because other women have also experienced this.

I was talking to a guy for a few months and in those few months I thought we got pretty close. We called almost every night and every morning there would be a good morning text. We were finally able to meet and he stayed at my place. He brought me flowers (roses), a couple of his hoodies, and we even cuddled a little bit. We spent the day together and I think it went well there weren’t too many awkward moments, that night he even talked about me joining his family for their white elephant party. The next day he spent his morning on his phone laying away from me in bed and when he went to leave he gave me a hug and kissed the top of my head. The days after than our communication fell apart, he was barely responding and when I brought up another call like we usually did he pushed it off.

Now I’m questioning what makes a guy do ALL OF THIS only to say a couple days later that he needs to figure out his life, he’s in a bad spot mentally, he didn’t want to disappoint me, and the worst of all he likes me just not like “that”. How can you so easily flip the switch? Disclaimer, I’m so new to dating and even having a guy over that i don’t know if I was misreading behaviors, clearly I was more attached than him. I know you can’t answer for this guy because only he knows what he’s thinking but just in general why do men do this?

This guy (24M) and I (24F) had been talking for a couple months before we finally met in person last week. Since then we had a falling out? I basically noticed he was starting to ghost me afterwards and asked him about. I said if he wasn’t feeling it that’s fine but just to tell me so I wasn’t on the edge of my seat waiting for the other shoe to drop. He admitted that he thought he was into me but that he actually wasn’t. His words were “I like you, but not like that.”

Anyway all of our communication was done through Snapchat and I think we both peacefully ended whatever relationship thing we had going on. Now he just sits on the list of people with a little red heart next to his name and it’s driving me nuts. I want to unadd him but there’s a little piece of me that thinks he might reach out again? I know I’m delusional, I just need that extra push to delete him.

I want to start wearing dresses in my day to day, but I can’t get over the mindset of dresses are for fancy occasions? I’ve only really worn dresses for events my sorority put on in college and now that I’m out, I have some dresses just in my closet. I’d like the opportunity to wear them especially this one I got on a whim from torrid (Festi lace trim tiered mini dress). I just don’t know how to wear it? I was thinking to make myself more comfortable to wear a cardigan over the top and for shoes I’m completely lost. I have a pair of Birkenstock adjacent sandals that I was thinking, but I don’t know.

I’m looking for advice of how to feel good in a dress just because and not for any special occasion. I want to feel good and cute!

A couple days ago I posted about how I had a first date with this guy and he did all the right things even picked me up a couple of times. Just wanted to give an update and maybe just get it off my chest, but not even 3 days later he’s in a bad mental state and doesn’t know what he wants. That’s not to say I don’t want him to feeling better about things and I truly am wishing him the best! He said he didn’t want to disappoint me or make me feel like I had wasted my time. I’m trying to look beyond it and know that this isn’t something I did, just to accept the win as it was but it’s hard. This isn’t the update I was hoping to provide, sorry guys.

I’m going to start this by making an assumption so please forgive me but I think we can all agree as plus size women that the thought of being picked up by a partner is terrifying, especially if you don’t think they can do it.

Now I (24F) haven’t had much dating experience and have really tried to branch out this year. Of all the apps I matched with a guy (24M) on Wooplus, I had very low hopes going into it. We matched months ago and have been talking almost none stop (I know this can be a red flag to some so I’m feeling things out). On Friday we were finally able to meet up and after talking for as long as we did with video calls he did stay at my place. He was super sweet and even brought me roses!

Here comes the dreaded part, we were in my apartment talking and I was talking about how my lightbulbs are different tones. I wanted to change the bulbs in the kitchen but couldn’t reach them/was uncomfortable on the stepladder, he literally offered to do it for me (woot woot free labor). After he changed them he asked how it would even look if I tried to do it myself so while I was on my tippy toes showing him, HE PICKED ME UP. This man is like 6 foot ish and I think he said like 260 lbs? I’m 5’3 (on a good day) and hover around 220 lbs. When he started to pick me up I was so scared but not only did he pick me up, he also walked us back over to my couch! I was shocked to say the least and I’m not gonna lie it made me feel good about myself.

Later that day (he stayed the night because he drove 2 hours to me and honestly at this point of talking and what not I was comfortable with him staying) we were in my room, we had a couple drinks and I was feeling it so I went to get in bed and he said “what are you doing?” I told him I’m getting under the covers and he said “that’s my side, get over here” and pulled me across the bed to “my side” like I was nothing!!!

Even as I write this I can’t believe this happened and the whole time we were together I kept questioning if he liked me or not but I really think I’m going to have to push that down because surely he does? This was like my third ever date and honestly the best one I’ve ever had. I don’t have a question or anything like that, I just wanted to share because I don’t have a lot of people in my life at the moment that I want to share this with. As a plus size woman it just felt good to experience this and I wanted to share that.