u/Foreign-Signature326

I want to share something and get some perspective on what this guy might have been thinking or feeling.

We dated for about six months. It wasn’t a long relationship, but it was intense, and we were really into each other. The sexual chemistry was off the charts. Even before we officially started dating, we were like magnets, we just couldn’t stay away from each other.

We eventually broke up because of a misunderstanding. I overreacted, and things escalated more than they should have. We tried to fix it, but it didn’t work out.

We’re still part of the same friend group, so we continued seeing each other. At some point, he started dating someone new. Even then, we would occasionally have some banter, and I noticed that he would always check my Instagram stories within minutes.

I had cooled down a lot and wasn’t really engaging with his light flirting anymore. He sometimes hovers around me, notices where I am in the room or even inserts himself in my conversations with others; all trying to be friendly. Nothing overt.

Then I hosted a small party at my place, about 8 people, including him and his new girlfriend. The lights were dim, music was loud, and everyone was having a good time.

At one point, he came close to me to say something, and I noticed his facial expression change. He stood very close to me, like just a few inches away. Later that same night, under the excuse of looking at something on my phone, he came extremely close again. This time he didn’t even say anything, he just stood there for a moment and then walked away back into the crowd.

Both times, I felt this strong “electric” kind of tension when he was that close.

I know we were both drunk, but I’m still wondering, what was he feeling in those moments? Why would he do that, especially with his girlfriend there?

I want to share something and get some perspective on what this guy might have been thinking or feeling.

We dated for about six months. It wasn’t a long relationship, but it was intense, and we were really into each other. The sexual chemistry was off the charts. Even before we officially started dating, we were like magnets. we just couldn’t stay away from each other.

We eventually broke up because of a misunderstanding. I overreacted, and things escalated more than they should have. We tried to fix it, but it didn’t work out.

We’re still part of the same friend group, so we continued seeing each other. At some point, he started dating someone new. Even then, we would occasionally have some banter, and I noticed that he would always check my Instagram stories within minutes.

By that time, I had cooled down a lot and wasn’t really engaging with his light flirting anymore like he hovers around me sometimes, pays attention to where I am in the room, and even inserts himself in my conversations with others if he is on happy mood.

Then came this party I hosted at my place, about 8 people, including him and his new girlfriend. The lights were dim, music was loud, and everyone was having a good time.

At one point, he came close to me to say something, and I noticed his facial expression change. He came very close to my lips, like just a few inches away. Later that same night, under the excuse of looking at something on my phone, he came extremely close again, like an inch away. His body facing side of my body. This time he didn’t even say anything, he just stood there for a moment and then walked away back into the crowd.

Both times, I felt this strong “electric” kind of tension when he was that close. My body felt this strange calm but also intense tension.

I know we were both drunk, but I’m still wondering — what was he feeling in those moments?

TL;DR Ex got very physically close to me twice, creating strong tension. Also, flirts lightly. I’m wondering what he was feeling and why he acted that way.

I don’t really know why I’m writing this, but I feel like I need to get it out.

First, I want to say I didn’t have a bad childhood overall. I grew up in a loving family. My mom cared about me a lot and did her best, even when we didn’t have much money. She would still try to buy me things and make me happy.

I have two siblings, one older and one younger. I was always good at studies, and my mom was very proud of that. She would tell everyone how I never needed help and how I was self-driven. When people compared my looks to my siblings, she stood up for me and gave me confidence.

But at the same time, my childhood was also difficult.

I grew up hearing that when I was born, my dad lost his job and the family started struggling financially. I was told I cried a lot as a baby and caused her a lot of stress. Over time, this turned into a narrative that I had brought “bad luck” into the family.

My mom had serious anger issues. She would get extremely upset over small things, like if I dropped food by mistake. She yelled a lot, especially when we didn’t move fast enough or didn’t listen immediately. She would call us horrible names, things no child should hear. Names like slut and whore.

Mornings were especially stressful. She had to get all three of us ready for school, lunches, hair, everything and she was always rushing. If we weren’t quick enough, she would scream constantly. That sense of urgency never left me.

There was also physical punishment. She hit us with slippers, sometimes repeatedly, until we apologized. To be fair, I did talk back sometimes, but still… it was intense.

One thing I’ve noticed about myself started very early.

I remember in second grade, I ran into my class teacher in a market. I didn’t say hello or introduce her to my mom. Later, my mom pointed it out and said I should have. That one small thing stayed with me. I cried about it for days, probably 10 days and avoided talking to people because I felt I had made a mistake.

Since then, I’ve had many phases like that. I’ll fixate on something small I did wrong, replay it over and over, and end up isolating myself.

Now that I’m older (I’m 40), I can see her life differently. She had no help. My dad didn’t support her with the house or kids. She became more and more isolated over time. I think she was overwhelmed, stuck, and had no outlet.

But even understanding that doesn’t undo the impact.

To this day, I can’t relax. I rush everything. People always tell me to slow down, but I physically can’t.

I also struggle being around too many people. Even small conflicts make me anxious, and I replay them in my head over and over.

She’s not alive anymore, and I sometimes think about how her whole life revolved around us, without anything for herself.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe just trying to understand why I am the way I am.

I don’t really know why I’m writing this, but I feel like I need to get it out.

First, I want to say I didn’t have a bad childhood overall. I grew up in a loving family. My mom cared about me a lot and did her best, even when we didn’t have much money. She would still try to buy me things and make me happy.

I have two siblings, one older and one younger. I was always good at studies, and my mom was very proud of that. She would tell everyone how I never needed help and how I was self-driven. When people compared my looks to my siblings, she stood up for me and gave me confidence.

But at the same time, my childhood was also difficult.

I grew up hearing that when I was born, my dad lost his job and the family started struggling financially. I was told I cried a lot as a baby and caused her a lot of stress. Over time, this turned into a narrative that I had brought “bad luck” into the family.

My mom had serious anger issues. She would get extremely upset over small things, like if I dropped food by mistake. She yelled a lot, especially when we didn’t move fast enough or didn’t listen immediately. She would call us horrible names, things no child should hear. Names used to call women who sleep around for money.

Mornings were especially stressful. She had to get all three of us ready for school, lunches, hair, everything and she was always rushing. If we weren’t quick enough, she would scream constantly. That sense of urgency never left me.

There was also physical punishment. She hit us with slippers, sometimes repeatedly, until we apologized. To be fair, I did talk back sometimes, but still… it was intense.

One thing I’ve noticed about myself started very early.

I remember in second grade, I ran into my class teacher in a market. I didn’t say hello or introduce her to my mom. Later, my mom pointed it out and said I should have. That one small thing stayed with me. I cried about it for days. probably 10 days and avoided talking to people because I felt I had made a mistake.

Since then, I’ve had many phases like that. I’ll fixate on something small I did wrong, replay it over and over, and end up isolating myself.

Now that I’m older (I’m 40), I can see her life differently. She had no help. My dad didn’t support her with the house or kids. She became more and more isolated over time. I think she was overwhelmed, stuck, and had no outlet.

But even understanding that doesn’t undo the impact.

To this day, I can’t relax. I rush everything. People always tell me to slow down, but I physically can’t.

I also struggle being around too many people. Even small conflicts make me anxious, and I replay them in my head over and over.

She’s not alive anymore, and I sometimes think about how her whole life revolved around us, without anything for herself.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe just trying to understand why I am the way I am.

I don’t really know why I’m writing this, but I feel like I need to get it out.

First, I want to say I didn’t have a bad childhood overall. I grew up in a loving family. My mom cared about me a lot and did her best, even when we didn’t have much money. She would still try to buy me things and make me happy.

I have two siblings, one older and one younger. I was always good at studies, and my mom was very proud of that. She would tell everyone how I never needed help and how I was self-driven. When people compared my looks to my siblings, she stood up for me and gave me confidence.

But at the same time, my childhood was also difficult.

I grew up hearing that when I was born, my dad lost his job and the family started struggling financially. I was told I cried a lot as a baby and caused her a lot of stress. Over time, this turned into a narrative that I had brought “bad luck” into the family.

My mom had serious anger issues. She would get extremely upset over small things, like if I dropped food by mistake. She yelled a lot, especially when we didn’t move fast enough or didn’t listen immediately. She would call us horrible names — things no child should hear. Names like slut and whore.

Mornings were especially stressful. She had to get all three of us ready for school — lunches, hair, everything — and she was always rushing. If we weren’t quick enough, she would scream constantly. That sense of urgency never left me.

There was also physical punishment. She hit us with slippers, sometimes repeatedly, until we apologized. To be fair, I did talk back sometimes, but still… it was intense.

One thing I’ve noticed about myself started very early.

I remember in second grade, I ran into my class teacher in a market. I didn’t say hello or introduce her to my mom. Later, my mom pointed it out and said I should have. That one small thing stayed with me. I cried about it for days — probably 10 days — and avoided talking to people because I felt I had made a mistake.

Since then, I’ve had many phases like that. I’ll fixate on something small I did wrong, replay it over and over, and end up isolating myself.

Now that I’m older (I’m 40), I can see her life differently. She had no help. My dad didn’t support her with the house or kids. She became more and more isolated over time. I think she was overwhelmed, stuck, and had no outlet.

But even understanding that doesn’t undo the impact.

To this day, I can’t relax. I rush everything. People always tell me to slow down, but I physically can’t.

I also struggle being around too many people. Even small conflicts make me anxious, and I replay them in my head over and over.

She’s not alive anymore, and I sometimes think about how her whole life revolved around us, without anything for herself.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe just trying to understand why I am the way I am.

She is a kind of an advanced reader and has already read chapter books like Unicorn Diaries and Amelia Bedelia. I want to introduce her to the world of mystery and adventure. Something like Nancy Drew or Tin Tin. Are those good for this age? Where should I begin?

Also, please recommend anything that will be age-appropriate and encourages her to being brave and smart.

She is a kind of an advanced reader and has already read chapter books like Unicorn Diaries and Amelia Bedelia. I want to introduce her to the world of mystery and adventure. Something like Nancy Drew or Tin Tin. Are those good for this age? Where should I begin?

Also, please recommend anything that will be age-appropriate and encourages her to being brave and smart.

I recently went to Buffalo wild wings, and the servers there are pretty young usually. So, there was this young woman who was serving our table. I was with me and my family. she wasn’t nice to us for no reason. we were just asking a couple of questions like can we have the kids menu and she told us there is no kids menu and then I said, but do have anything particularly for the kids to eat? She rolled her eyes and said ‘oh I thought you meant menu. Well, it’s called kids food and there is a separate section on that on the main menu itself.’ This is just an example, but she was not nice in her mannerism and how she was talking, even while, taking the food order.

I have a rule that I never give feedback even if a server is getting us wrong order. But this time it made me feel that she was judging us by the way we looked (immigrants). I don’t know it’s weird. I gave her 10% tip at the end, but I don’t know how else could I have handled that. Should I have said something?