r/FlirtingOrFriendly

I want to share something and get some perspective on what this guy might have been thinking or feeling.

We dated for about six months. It wasn’t a long relationship, but it was intense, and we were really into each other. The sexual chemistry was off the charts. Even before we officially started dating, we were like magnets. we just couldn’t stay away from each other.

We eventually broke up because of a misunderstanding. I overreacted, and things escalated more than they should have. We tried to fix it, but it didn’t work out.

We’re still part of the same friend group, so we continued seeing each other. At some point, he started dating someone new. Even then, we would occasionally have some banter, and I noticed that he would always check my Instagram stories within minutes.

By that time, I had cooled down a lot and wasn’t really engaging with his light flirting anymore like he hovers around me sometimes, pays attention to where I am in the room, and even inserts himself in my conversations with others if he is on happy mood.

Then came this party I hosted at my place, about 8 people, including him and his new girlfriend. The lights were dim, music was loud, and everyone was having a good time.

At one point, he came close to me to say something, and I noticed his facial expression change. He came very close to my lips, like just a few inches away. Later that same night, under the excuse of looking at something on my phone, he came extremely close again, like an inch away. His body facing side of my body. This time he didn’t even say anything, he just stood there for a moment and then walked away back into the crowd.

Both times, I felt this strong “electric” kind of tension when he was that close. My body felt this strange calm but also intense tension.

I know we were both drunk, but I’m still wondering — what was he feeling in those moments?

TL;DR Ex got very physically close to me twice, creating strong tension. Also, flirts lightly. I’m wondering what he was feeling and why he acted that way.

need real advice and I really want help understanding what’s going on with me… judge me if you want, because even I don’t even understand it myself!

Everything started some time after I found out I was cheated on by my ex. It was a really ugly situation that left me quite traumatized, so in order to distract myself, I created a Tinder profile… yes, the truth is I needed attention and to feel like someone looked at me with desire. I couldn’t stand the pain of being deceived and replaced.

So yeah, I created that damn Tinder haha. I didn’t talk to many people—in fact, my profile didn’t even have real pictures, it was purely AI 😅😅 However, a very unexpected match showed up! That match didn’t take long to text me. It took a few days until we exchanged phone numbers and then (a few more days later) social media. I should say it took 2 weeks for our first date to happen.

That first date really impressed me because this Tinder boy was extremely polite, easygoing, respectful… basically everything Tinder usually doesn’t have 😅🤣 Then we kept talking, always staying grounded and taking things slowly, especially because he also went through a not-so-good breakup (he was cheated on too). More and more, our conversations started to make sense, and the dates too! By the third date we kissed, and on the fourth, we ended up in bed… okay, everything more than wonderful! Incredible chemistry, incredible moments together, and there is really good communication… There is care, concern… honestly, our vibe is anything but “I’m just here to have sex,” even though there is a lot of desire 🤣

However, I’m starting to get worried… am I doing the right thing? I mean, I get very attached, I’m quite jealous, and I have the bad habit of creating a lot of expectations and goals all at once, but I don’t want to show that. Especially because we have quite different lives and live almost half an hour away from each other. We are the same age, 27/28, and from what I understand, he knows well what he wants in life, but I still haven’t had the courage to ask what his more objective intentions are with me… out of fear!

Should I do it? Or simply continue enjoying the good thing we have right now? Am I confusing feelings because I met him at a vulnerable moment or is this person really affecting me? Should I stop here or continue with this good thing that came almost like a bandage for my wound?

regretfully, i have a huge crush on a coworker. we talk about books and music and if it’s the right kind of books and music, which it often is, that is a fast track to my heart. last week we were talking about shows we were going to (separately—not with each other (if only!)), and he mentioned that one of the bands he is seeing wrote probably his favorite love song. he said it was a non-cheesy love song, which he thinks is rare. he then challenged me to come up with a non-cheesy love song AND what i think is the greatest love song ever written (cheesy or not) and to share them with him… i *think* it’s friendly—just him loving to talk about music??—but also what a dreamy thing to be asked by your crush?! and kind of a weird thing to ask your coworker? i just don’t know. *sigh*

I'm (32M) a non-traditional college student. Going back to school for economics. I'm pretty sure a girl (20F) in my lab group played footsie with me from across the table last week. I didn't play back, but can't say I wasn't tempted. I actually really like her, but the age gap makes me feel weird for that.

Details: by "pretty sure", I mean her foot touched my shin, I moved my leg, then she started sweeping back and forth across my shin with her foot before resting against my shin again for the duration of the lab. I looked at her but she avoided eye contact unless we were talking about the lab work. Before then, her and her friend had taken to walking back to the bus station and talking with me. As we were leaving, her friend asked me how often I check my email and said she was going to email me (no email yet).

So I have this friend, we’ve been friends now for the better part of a year. We’re in the same friend group that always goes out together. I’m fairly certain she was into me when we first met, (other people even brought it up so it’s not just my imagination), however, we were both in relationships at the time. Fast forward 6 months and we’re both single, me for a little under a month, her about four months. We all still hang out and I notice she laughs extra hard at my jokes, always faces me and makes it to where we end up sitting next to rach other no matter what we’re doing. She was not a punctual person when we met, however, I have noticed, now that she has learned my habit of being about 15 minutes earlier than the others, she shows up about the same time I do and either sits with me in my car or asks me into hers to chat. She’ll also suggest little side quests before the others get there like running to a gas station together for a drink, or getting some food. She also repeatedly brings up the fact we were both raised the same way and really harps on how it’s a shared experience. I am incredibly clueless on flirting. She is also super shy and I know will not venture even remotely into the territory of making a move. My question is is she into me? Am I making this up because I think a lot of her as a person and find her attractive? Help a man out lol.

I (M37) have been working with someone (F51) for almost 4 years. She’s an extremely friendly and kind person naturally so I’m really confused and hoping to get some advice (I know that’s dangerous and borderline stupid coming to the Internet, but I’m kinda at a loss and don’t have anyone to talk to). For background, I am single and have been the entire time I have worked at this job except for a few months last year. I’m a single father (I have my son full time). I’m definitely overweight (about 280-290 lbs) but I’m decent looking otherwise. She’s very young looking, if anyone saw her and didn’t know her age and tried to guess they would guess late 30’s maybe early 40’s. She is married and has been for 31 years. They’re both Hispanic. They have 2 boys but both are adults and out of the home (one is 30 and the other is 20’s i don’t remember exact age) Her husband is older (early or mid 60’s I forget). He has a few diseases that prohibit him from working, so she has always had to be the one to work. To also complicate things she’s also a Christian and attends church (to my understanding anyway) when she can (our work schedules are all over the place and we work most weekends). We work in a fairly technical job, it’s sales for a few different services (I’m not going to be specific and will intentionally be somewhat vague to protect myself and her). In the time I have worked for the company she has constantly struggled with the technical side of the job and often needs help. We work in a small office with about 5-6 people total (depending on staffing levels as it’s a job with a high attrition rate due to the chaotic schedule, dealing with the public and the technical side). When she needs help if I am working that day too she will almost always come to me for help (even if a manager is there). Many times when she comes to me she’s needing my help with a device or she’s asking about how to do something in our systems or about a policy. When she approaches me she oven gets extremely close to my side and I find her pressing her breast into my arm or back (I’m about 5’10” and she’s much shorter, about 5’0”). To be fair she is rather large chested (probably DD or even DDD) so I know sometimes it’s an accident but I just feel that it might be happening too often to be purely accidental. She does not seem to do this to my other coworkers (male or female). Additionally we do often end up working alone in the evenings and when we do there has been several occasions (including just a few days ago) when she has brought up a few stories about and her habit of being a somewhat nudist at home and about her high libido (but she has mentioned a couple times how her husband can’t keep up because of his disability, understanding IMO). Again I don’t think she is having these conversations with my other coworkers. I was offered a promotion last month to relocate and manage another location across my state (larger state this location is a full days drive away). They needed time to find a replacement for me here and are working with me as well to allow my son to finish school here so I’m not starting the new position until June 1st. I feel like since the announcement for my promotion she has kicked up being even nicer to me, the coming to me for help and has mentioned several times how much she will miss me and have to call me to get help or talk. I’m not a dunce but I’m just confused where her mindset might be. It kinda came to a head today. She told me that I was her favorite and she feels safe with me. I do also genuinely enjoy her company and the attention she gives me. I’ve never touched her nor do I feel like we have done anything inappropriate with regard to both work and her marriage (which is important to me because my ex cheated on me constantly, without my knowledge for years, so I cannot stand cheating). I know her and her husband have had some marriage issues and even separated at one point for some time. From what I can tell he’s pretty controlling and not very understanding with her. I did joke when they split for a short time once I joked she should go find a younger “boy-toy” because she was talking about how she had a high libido and he didn’t/couldnt. She did Say no. I know she loves her husband and only has been with him and no one since they got together over 30 years ago. I also know his health issues have been getting worse. I just don’t want to get in trouble or get her in trouble with HR or her husband. If you made it this far, you’re a saint. Sorry for the rambling. Any advice is appreciated. Happy to clarify any questions/concerns.