I don’t know if it’s just ADHD, but I also have OCD, and GAD, and probably more undiagnosed because I’ve had an eventful life, but I am worried, because I’m so horribly forgetful and with my love on her period even that! And I want to comfort and soothe her, and my stupid mind doesn’t remember and my OCD is like you should remember this, does that mean you don’t care? And so I panic and I force my mind to dwell on things so then I remember to help people and my medicine doesn’t help it just makes me not eat and when I forget I feel like a horrible person and I feel terrible it’s gotten to the point I have hundreds of alarms in my phone, to remind me things so then my mind tells me I’m fake, and also I procrastinate everything it’s so hard to get up and go to the gym, heck to get up and do anything, does anyone have some advice for me?
u/Foreign-Remote7984
Okay I don’t know if I am supposed to post here but with periods it sounds really really horrible and I’ve been looking into it and watching it and it would hurt so so horribly bad, so with my love and I and I’m sorry if I shouldn’t post here, but how do I help her? What if I can’t be there in person to get her stuff? Because we can’t sadly always see each other, but I want to help and she’s hurting so bad, she has a heating pad, and Tylenol but I feel bad making her get up, and I’m there for her I’m just wondering if there’s anything that helps every woman is different, but I just wanna help her, is there anything way to soothe her, is there distractions, anything helps thank you
My love, and I have had a great relationship but I am in a bad place, I feel better for a second but then my mind says “it’ll get worse again” and I feel bad again; therefore there’s it’s proof it gets worse, my OCD is drowning me trying to convince me that my worries are fake and I’m forcing them, and I’m not worried about being worried about OCDA thoughts and it’s really confusing (TW self harm) so my mind says hey to prove that you care and it hurts you go cut yourself if you don’t you don’t care if you don’t want to kill yourself you don’t care so sometimes I will cut till I’m dizzy, but I haven’t cut since Tuesday, and I don’t want to get up so my OCD says you don’t care but it won’t worry me so that worries me, and that I don’t worry about that and on and on, and I’m so worried me and her, because the worry isn’t there and my mind is screaming BREAK UP BREAK UP YOU DONT CARE and then I feel all this Romance then it’s like you don’t find her attractive this that this that, and then your not worried, and then you don’t care your gonna mess up and leave your a worthless piece of shit you don’t feel bad when you cry you get annoyed you wanted to look away! And it terrorized me but I can’t even feel that and I don’t want to cut because my knife is dull and i promised my baby I wouldn’t, but gah what do I do? I’m so lost, I tell myself feelings are like a hand, dip it in cold water in the dark it gets numb and you can’t see it, take it out and the lights back on the feelings come back, and I know it’s true but I do t believe it just god man god…
okay this will be a big message and warning it‘ll have self harm, depression, okay so when I was around 9-10, my mind would say what if your adopted and mom and dad don’t love you? What if they get in a car crash? What if you die in your sleep or get murderer make Sure to say your last words because your gonna die, and I remember my earliest around 2018 when I was 9, I would think of locking myself alone, so I couldn’t kill anyone in my sleep, and one time we watched a movie, and I couldn’t focus I saw a screw driver and I was CONVINCED I would kill everyone in their sleep and I told my dad, hey can you lock your doors in case I sleep walk and hurt someone? And he just stared and said “yeah, yes we can do that” and I would walk around playing with friends and be like “what if I didn’t finish my prayer“ so I would walk around all day saying “in the name of Jesus Christ amen, and get frustrate, and it would say your going to get cursed your mad at God! You don’t love him enough, you don’t try hard enough, but around 2023, it got worse I would wake my brother up because I was scared, and I would go check the doors 8-9 times a night or I couldn’t sleep from fear, I would pray at night the same exact prayer that would last around 10 minutes to fully recite, in my head but if I stutter or slur or mess up I need to restart that section but if I mess up to much I have to fully restart so I’d dread sleep, and pray for 2 hours a night, which led to later atheism, but other common worries was my anatomy was wrong and I was a girl, and I couldn’t you know have kids, or have THAT happen, and I still have a hard time from pressure but I’m not gonna focus on that, but life went on, and in 2024 I started to doubt my religion after my loved ones were having a party and drinking, and I quoted a song I had heard on their boat to disrespect “the lord” and I laid in the tent crying even though i was nearly 15, but my dad comforted me, and I said dad I don’t believe in God, he talked to me and talked about testimonies and faith, and I was comforted, and came back to religion but the next day on the boat I was coming up with all the reasons why the church was true (LDS/Mormon) but I was doubting like Adam and Eve, thinking how come there are scientific and genetic features from monkeys, how did Adam and Eve be evolved so quick when they were just poof here when other early sapiens were human but less evolved? And so I tried to prove it wrong. Fast forward summer 2025, I love my dad so much, so my OCD began saying, what if..you don’t love your dad? And it was very hard and I started getting depressed and I couldn’t feel anymore, and the intrusive thoughts were killing me so I started cutting myself, to get rid of my frustration, but everything Calmed down, then my I found the love of my life, and I know I’m 16, but me and her are in real love and I mean it, a main OCD worry I had was what if I can never love a girl? What if I’m gay? And When I met her, everything changed, I wanted her and imagined our future, I felt like a normal boy for once in my life to be obsessed to be in genuine agony when my best friend stole her for a bit, to feel this all, I Had never obsessed over a girl before I forced myself to have “crushes” to think I was normal and yeah I could find things hot, and I am so glad my eyes have been opened I’m so ashamed of myself, but with her, I just wanted romance and the light feeling in my chest, and right now I’m feeling good and I miss her, but not long ago my minds like “you want to leave!!!” And I feel terrible typing it, but my mind says I don’t feel bad typing it and not actually worried, but after me and her story and my friend who turned to be a manipulative jerk, but the best day of my life, me and her confessed our feelings after obviously liking each other, but we officially became Girlfriend and Boyfriend November 16 Sunday 2025, and around thanksgiving break, and when we would be near each other, my OCD would kick in, things like “you don’t think she’s attractive why does she deserve you that embarrassed you, you don’t care, you aren’t worried, what if it’s all fake, you used to sit there and be terrified if she liked you now your forcing it your faking it” and it was exhausting as heck, and time went on, and my mind is now exhausted it’s saying you want to leave her, you don’t find her attractive you procrastinating helping her, you don’t want to defend her (I also have adhd) but my mind now started saying “you don’t have OCD you aren’t normal worry like other people” I don’t door stuff anymore, any of that praying I don’t believe in God anymore, but my mind says if I don’t do the compulsions I don’t care and it would be sweet if she found out, oh its a pr stubt your fake and manipulstivr, and me and her are in a hard time, so it’s been very rough and sometimes she needs space but I respect her absolutely but I’ll sit there spiraling what if she doesn’t love me, oh so your mad at her?? You don’t like her anyways, and yes I do need space sometimes but I feel to bad to get it but my minds says what if you don’t feel bad, and it feels good sometimes to be alone and it says because you don’t like her????? And my mind Says I ALWAYS dread when she comes back and for calls and do I?? It says I type this without fear, and when the poor thing was sad and crying my mind said “that’s embarrassing and oh please stop” and I feel so bad instead of empathy my mind says I don’t find her attractive and I don’t do things right and bleh sorry holy rant