u/Flimsy_Plankton378

Something totally crazy happened to me the other week and I need to discuss it with someone who can maybe give me an answer.

So for some context, I genuinely hate how unmotivated I feel all of the time. My ADHD makes me feel like a total loser who’s falling behind everyone around me. I don’t eat enough because I’m always forgetting, I sleep in because I can’t remember I have class (even if I write it down and set 1000 alarms), I can’t focus in class without getting up all of the time to stim (in the bathroom) and it’s embarrassing every time because everyone looks at me as I leave and enter, and I struggle with the depression that the ADHD gives me and the lack of any motivation or willpower to do anything that needs to get done (a lot of it is really important).

Last week there were two days where I completely locked in on my work like I have never done before. I was excited to do my homework, I was actually putting in effort and time despite how hard this is usually for me. I was also on zero medication. I was completely in the zone, I wrote an 8 page paper and three short stories. I do not understand what came over me, but I want it back. I hate feeling the complete opposite. Does anyone have any idea what could have happened to make this possible? Or if this is an ADHD thing?

As I enter my senior year of college I really need the integrity and willpower to get through some of the hardest and most intense classes I will ever take. Any advice or wisdom is appreciated. I don’t understand how just a week ago I WANTED more work after I finished all of it, and now I’m back to square one.

I 21/M and my gf 20/F have been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years. We have been on and off arguing the last few months because both of our mental health issues have been springing up more than ever.
For a while I’ve questioned if our relationship is healthy. Our communication has improved greatly over the past year and we’ve grown to understand each other much more than ever, however it feels as though every time we call it becomes an argument over something stupid or totally useless—I’m talking small miscommunications, things like that.
Historically I’ve always been the one who keeps my cool. I’ve been supportive, respectful, kind, caring etc, while we work together in our arguments. But lately I’ve found that I’m immediately approaching things with less and less maturity. I’ve been more blunt, more reserved, less prone to intimacy and affection, and I hate it. I want things to feel like how they used to again.
I don’t know why I get so irritable so quickly, it’s never been like this. I feel like I’m always losing the words and my body feels the discomfort in a way I’ve never experienced.
I love her, and I’ve met up with her three times for a week long over the past 2 years we’ve been dating. Not a lot, I know. I’m just tired. She’s going through so much, and we’re in completely different places in life right now—she’s working hard to move out and live in my state while I’m in college. I’ve never had the urge to be with anyone else or ever wanted to “experience other people” like everyone tells me I should in college, I’m perfectly happy in a relationship that’s detached from school. So it’s not that.

Maybe it’s the distance, or her mental health issues stressing me out. I need control in my life and I need to know the people in my life who I’m close to have got my back. Not only my back but their own, and can support themselves and have integrity. This, she doesn’t always have. And it makes me stressed and irritable. I genuinely just want us to work towards getting closer like we were, to feel stable again. I guess I don’t know how to be respectful of her issues and also stand my ground. I want to be less reactionary, as I’ve never ever been like that with her until lately. It makes me sad that we’re at this point and I want some advice on how I can rekindle things to be a little softer and less stressful on both of us.

Hi! My girlfriend is the sweetest and loveliest person in the world, and it pains me to see her going through what she is. She has mentioned feeling like she needs to punish herself for the mental health issues she’s dealing with, and has expressed that if she doesn’t eat, it feels like she has “made up” for what she goes through and how it affects her.
How can I help her through this? As her bf, I feel a responsibility to support her and encourage healthy eating, but I never want to force it on her and I also want to be mindful that it’s much easier said than done.
Any advice for this would be greatly appreciated. I want to be the best I can be, and I’m afraid she’ll get worse if I don’t step in some way.

Tonight I ordered some food I was really looking forward to (snacks, drinks etc that I needed for the dorm), and it was stolen by one of my housemates.

After asking around I came back to the dorm to tell my roommate about what happened. She immediately asked me what I bought. I told her I got snacks and some drinks for tomorrow.

She says “what drinks do you need for tomorrow?” In this judgmental tone. It felt like she was Ignoring my frustration and the situation at large.

I said “oh, some Red Bulls since they are very cheap at this store.”

Immediately she asks “why would you not just get Red Bulls at the student bookstore, I mean, including the delivery fee and the tip, it would be more expensive”

I say “because it was just convenient and I saw them and wanted them. I don’t know.”

And she just doesn’t say anything else.

She does this a lot, finds one flaw in what I say that is completely unnecessary and just picks apart the logic. It’s like she’s questioning my intelligence or something and it made me so angry.

Am I overreacting for being angry at her for this? Or is what she’s saying/doing fine? I can’t tell rn cause I’m blinded by anger and frustration at the whole situation.

Edit: I am also neurodivergent but not autistic myself (at least not diagnosed)

When I share my writing with my autistic boyfriend, especially when it is not direct or written in a way that explains everything for creativity sake, he can tell me “it makes no sense.” I wonder what it feels like for him when he doesn’t understand something like this and why it can be so overwhelming. When I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t understand something I wrote, I can get embarrassed and hurt and I also see him shut down and get overwhelmed. Do you think he means this at all in a judgmental way?

I want him to be a part of my hobbies and engage with them, but I don’t know how to share more complex/less directly obviously plots or storylines with him (that explain everything to the reader) without it becoming an uncomfortable situation where we both feel confused and overwhelmed.

Can anyone chime in and maybe speak on what it could be feeling like for him? I want him to feel comfortable and not confused or overwhelmed when I try to explain what I’m writing or what things mean.

TLDR; my autistic boyfriend gets overwhelmed when he doesn’t understand my creative writing

I am posting this to know if I’m in the wrong. Tonight my roommate asked me if I could leave the room because her friends were having a bad day and wanted to hang out in the room with her. I live with just her, and her friends both have single rooms right next door. I asked her if it has to happen in our room, and she said yes it has to, and that she already ordered food here, so she can’t go elsewhere.

Usually when her friends are having a bad day it doesn’t matter if I’m in the room, as I have noise cancelling headphones, and I’m usually doing my own thing. I am also familiar with her friends, so I’m not sure why I can’t be in my own room, especially when she could just go next door.

I agreed, but was obviously upset about it, and I have already had a terrible week and barely slept last night. I was really looking forward to resting and playing video games so I could actually relax after a long day of working.

Here’s the kicker, when I come back to the room after a few minutes to grab my stuff before I leave, I see the three of them shotgunning beers and blasting music on the TV. Mind you at this point I am already pissed off (because she went ahead and did it anyway even after I asked her if she could do it elsewhere), and then I find that they’re basically partying to make her friends feel better in our shared room, at night, while it’s dark and pouring rain outside. I had to find a place to go in the middle of the night because she basically forced me to.

I guess I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong for being mad at her because I technically didn’t say no. I have just had too much drama recently and had a bad day and I didn’t want to start anything with her, but I feel like she should have gotten the hint?

TLDR; My roommate kicked me out to party with her friends late at night