I met a guy online who was attentive, curious and consistently in communication with me for five weeks. He had told me he still lives with his soon to be ex wife and that she’ll be out of the house hopefully by June 1st. they share a daughter. He told me she now has a full time job and that he has no interest in her due to cheating and years of trouble. We went on a date a couple weeks ago, he kissed me, and he told me that he wants to see where this goes because he really likes me. he also said he’s not closed off to a relationship when I told him I’m dating with intent. the next day he said he’s fell asleep on the couch and I asked where he normally sleeps and found out he still shares a bed with his ex. he assured me he keeps his distance but it felt off to me. I agreed to keep talking but over the next few days, his communication became more inconsistent and I felt more anxious. I told him given his situation I needed to step back and that if and when it changes, to reach out. he said he’s understood and I’ll be the first person he contacts when he’s free. was i overreacting? or foolish for sticking around? I’m scared that I let a good thing go that could have progressed. I removed him from social media for my own healing (I didn’t block him) and I’m scared he may take that as immaturity but I couldn’t bring myself to see his daily posts. I’m just feeling sad and lost right now.
u/Few-Papaya-7360
I met a guy online who was attentive, curious and consistently in communication with me for five weeks. He had told me he still lives with his soon to be ex wife and that she’ll be out of the house hopefully by June 1st. they share a daughter. He told me she now has a full time job and that he has no interest in her due to cheating and years of trouble. We went on a date a couple weeks ago, he kissed me, and he told me that he wants to see where this goes because he really likes me. he also said he’s not closed off to a relationship when I told him I’m dating with intent. the next day he said he’s fell asleep on the couch and I asked where he normally sleeps and found out he still shares a bed with his ex. he assured me he keeps his distance but it felt off to me. I agreed to keep talking but over the next few days, his communication became more inconsistent and I felt more anxious. I told him given his situation I needed to step back and that if and when it changes, to reach out. he said he’s understood and I’ll be the first person he contacts when he’s free. was i overreacting? or foolish for sticking around? I’m scared that I let a good thing go that could have progressed. I removed him from social media for my own healing (I didn’t block him) and I’m scared he may take that as immaturity but I couldn’t bring myself to see his daily posts. I’m just feeling sad and lost right now.
My boyfriend broke up with me after asking for reassurance.
A year prior, before our relationship, we had been in an exclusive agreement. we professed our feelings to eachother and while neither of us was ready for a relationship yet, we decided to only sleep with eachother.
three months into it, o found out he slept with his ex. he told me “if that’s enough for you to walk away from this then idk what to say. shame on you for not saying you wanted a commited relationship or nothing else.” he didn’t regret what he did but did tell me he should never have agreed to our set up. A year later he told me he regretted blowing the oppurtunity to be with me and apologized for disrespecting me. He never acknowledged my feelings or the pain it caused but I decided to give him a chance because after all, he said sorry. that should be enough, right? In the following weeks I felt anxiety rising and asked if we could discuss his mindset when the incident happened. He agreed. When we sat down together he told me it was ridiculous, that we werent an actual couple, and he hadn’t owed it to me to tell me he strayed. Needless to say, the conversation made me feel worse and I ended up in tears.
In the next three months, I lost my father, my pca job ended because my client passed, my son had a mental health crisis and my car died. I was scared and he offered little reassurance even telling me “well it’s good you weren’t close to your dad then.”
I continued to ask for reassurance as my anxiety spiked and he became stressed and told me he didn’t think he could continue then ended it. I still blame myself for asking for reassurance (including around other women and my parenting) and having anxiety. would you have felt the same way though? I have blamed myself for the end of this relationship a lot and I don’t don’t if I’m being to hard on myself or if there is something I need to learn from this. Thank you in advance.
I’m currently dating someone who lives with their ex still. He assured me she’s moving out soon and they keep things separate (other than their bed) but then he made an odd comment the other day about the babysitter and followed by distance for three days. the comment is as follows: “I had a little girl, who i used to live next to , offer to watch her. I’ve know the little girl since she was 10 I think she’s 21 now. 😂 it’s actually messing with my head that she is going to babysit."
given the messy arrangement, the comment about the babysitters age and it messing with his head (idk why this felt off) then the distance, is it smart to walk away from this? Am I overthinking the situation?