u/Fancy_Sweet9577

I (27F) have been friends with this girl (24F) for under a year, and lately the friendship feels very one-sided. I completely understand she’s a mom and has priorities, and I’ve always tried being understanding and supportive. But I started noticing I’m constantly left on read when I try making plans, while she still goes out/shows up with and for other people.

I communicated this to her a couple weeks ago, and she apologized saying she should’ve communicated better, she went with so and so because she didnt have money and they paid for her. I thought things would improve, but they didn’t.

Whenever we hang out, most conversations revolve around her problems and love life, and I always listen and support her. But when I finally opened up about something personal after months of not doing so, she answered another friend’s phone call mid-conversation and stayed on it so long I just stopped talking altogether.

There have also been multiple situations where she canceled plans with me or stopped responding, only for me to later see her out with other people or with her ex instead. It’s not even about her having other plans — it’s the lack of communication and constantly leaving me hanging. She did again this past weekend and saw two days ago she was out with a friend.

Another thing that stuck with me was on her birthday when she told me she’d be more hurt if her 10-year friend didn’t show up than if I didn’t because we hadn’t known each other that long. I understood the history part, but it still felt unnecessary considering I was actively showing up for her. Guess what, her 10 year old friendship never showed up nor even said happy birthday but I did.

At this point, I honestly feel more like a convenience friend or just someone to go out clubbing with when nobody else is around. I’m also not the only person who noticed this pattern, she has lost friends because of this. I ended up texting her saying “hey. I tried communicating with you about the same things and honestly i’m starting to feel like atp you don’t respect me or value the friendship at all. the only time i really hear from you is when it comes to going out or when it’s convenient, but most of the time my messages get ignored or left on read but then i see you constantly showing up for other people when it fits. that’s not how i show up in my friendships so i’m not going to stand for one sided friendships or picking and choosing when you want to be a friend. i’ve been more than a good friend to you to even be feeling this way so i’m all set” but as figured as she doesn’t do much of confrontation she never responded.

AITAH for not being understanding?

I (27F) have been friends with this girl (24f) for under a year and lately I’ve been realizing the friendship doesn’t really feel genuine anymore. I honestly feel more like a backup friend or just someone to go out with when it benefits her.

About two weeks ago I tried communicating with her about how I felt because she would constantly leave me on read whenever I tried making plans, but then I’d see her out with other people. She apologized and admitted it was because of money and her other friend had paid (she knows I don’t mind covering for her ever) but that she should’ve communicated better. so I thought things would improve.

We ended up hanging out after that and most of the time together was spent talking about her love life and everything going on with her. I listened, supported her, and let her vent. I hardly ever open up about my own life, but when it finally came time for me to talk about something personal, she answered a phone call from another friend in the middle of it. The conversation on the phone went on so long that by the time she got off, I honestly forgot what I was even saying and just didn’t bother or want to finish my story.

Later that night when we were leaving, she saw her ex and wanted to check on him. Since it was late and I was her ride home, I asked if she planned on going home with him or not because I work and didn’t want to just leave without knowing what was going on. She immediately got upset and snapped at me saying I was rushing her and that she WAS trying to go home with him and was “getting to that.” Usually when she reacts like that I ignore it, but this time it rubbed me the wrong way because of what had already happened earlier. I didn’t want to just leave her and go home because I didn’t want her getting upset when one of her friends has done that to her before.

Then for her birthday, while I was literally getting ready to celebrate with her, she told me she was upset because her friend of 10 years wasn’t coming, forgot her birthday, and didn’t even say happy birthday. She then told me that if I didn’t come, she wouldn’t have cared as much because we had only known each other for around 6 months compared to their 10-year friendship. She said she loved me, but “it isn’t the same.”

At first I tried not to take it personally because obviously a 10-year friendship is different, but at the same time it felt like something that didn’t need to be said out loud, especially when I WAS showing up for her birthday and making the effort to be there for her.

This weekend kind of pushed me over the edge. I tried making plans with her both days. The first day she canceled, but later I saw on social media that she made plans with other people that same night. Then the following day we talked about going out again, but she stopped responding while I was trying to figure out plans and locations, she was with her ex instead. I usually don’t care about these things but just communicate?

At this point it’s starting to feel more like an acquaintance than a genuine friendship. I feel like a backup friend or a convenience friend instead of someone she actually values.

I think what hurts the most is that I used to be someone who genuinely valued friendship deeply. I was the type of person who always checked on people, remembered birthdays, sent messages first, replied quickly, and treated friendships the way I hoped to be treated. Whenever someone needed me, I showed up for them, sometimes even putting their needs above my own.

But eventually I realized I was usually the one carrying the friendship. If I stopped trying, the connection would fade completely.

It sucks realizing that not everyone values friendship the same way you do, but I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t want to keep pouring energy into people who don’t value me the same way i value them.

I genuinely don’t know if it’s even worth saying anything else at this point or if I should just slowly distance myself and stop communicating altogether.
Am I wrong for feeling this way?

UPDATE: she never responded but posted once again on social media that she was out with another friend. At this point I communicated enough, tried to keep the friendship but now i’m honestly just done.

I’m (27f) a nanny NK10, NK3, and NK 8m (this particular family for two years but been a nanny for over 8. Accepted this job because I really needed it) working 50+ hours a week with no overtime, no contract, and only 8 combined PTO/sick days. Over the past year, I’ve barely had any time off—just two days for a short trip, a few days around Thanksgiving/Black Friday when the family was traveling, and one week off when they were also away.

I work 7am–5:30pm every day, and honestly I’m completely burnt out. I don’t get much flexibility during the day either, since the parents don’t really let me take the kids out much. Most of the time we’re inside, and when summer comes around they’ll be doing things like camp or swimming lessons that’s great for them as they need it but i will most likely be inside with the youngest.

I really want to take a week off in July just to travel or at least enjoy some summer activities, since I don’t get to experience much of summer at all with my schedule. I’m even willing to take it unpaid I just need a break at this point.

I’m not sure how to bring this up, and I have a feeling they won’t be open to it as they wanted to have a conversation about PTO, I’m sure they’ll want to shorten it, I don’t know. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? How did you handle asking for time off?

Found out last year that I (26F) have genital herpes from an ex who cheated and never told me. I did reconnect with an old ex at one point and told him, and he was surprisingly okay with it but things didn’t work out for other reasons.

Now I just feel stuck. It’s not even about whether someone will accept it it’s more how I see myself. The idea of dating, meeting someone new, even something simple like kissing feels off to me now. I constantly think about it, and it’s like it’s taken over how I view everything or one specific example like me going out clubbing and just dancing or when guys come up to me, I immediately tell them to go. I have went on 2 days with a guy but honestly just want to tell him it’s not going to work.. I just want to be able to meet someone, have fun, and not feel this weight or have to stress about disclosing it to every guy I talk to. It honestly just makes me really sad.

I (27F) have been friends with this girl (24f) for under a year and lately I’ve been realizing the friendship doesn’t really feel genuine anymore. I honestly feel more like a backup friend or just someone to go out with when it benefits her.

About two weeks ago I tried communicating with her about how I felt because she would constantly leave me on read whenever I tried making plans, but then I’d see her out with other people. She apologized and admitted it was because of money and her other friend had paid (she knows I don’t mind covering for her ever) but that she should’ve communicated better. so I thought things would improve.

We ended up hanging out after that and most of the time together was spent talking about her love life and everything going on with her. I listened, supported her, and let her vent. I hardly ever open up about my own life, but when it finally came time for me to talk about something personal, she answered a phone call from another friend in the middle of it. The conversation on the phone went on so long that by the time she got off, I honestly forgot what I was even saying and just didn’t bother or want to finish my story.

Later that night when we were leaving, she saw her ex and wanted to check on him. Since it was late and I was her ride home, I asked if she planned on going home with him or not because I work and didn’t want to just leave without knowing what was going on. She immediately got upset and snapped at me saying I was rushing her and that she WAS trying to go home with him and was “getting to that.” Usually when she reacts like that I ignore it, but this time it rubbed me the wrong way because of what had already happened earlier. I didn’t want to just leave her and go home because I didn’t want her getting upset when one of her friends has done that to her before.

Then for her birthday, while I was literally getting ready to celebrate with her, she told me she was upset because her friend of 10 years wasn’t coming, forgot her birthday, and didn’t even say happy birthday. She then told me that if I didn’t come, she wouldn’t have cared as much because we had only known each other for around 6 months compared to their 10-year friendship. She said she loved me, but “it isn’t the same.”

At first I tried not to take it personally because obviously a 10-year friendship is different, but at the same time it felt like something that didn’t need to be said out loud, especially when I WAS showing up for her birthday and making the effort to be there for her.

This weekend kind of pushed me over the edge. I tried making plans with her both days. The first day she canceled, but later I saw on social media that she made plans with other people that same night. Then the following day we talked about going out again, but she stopped responding while I was trying to figure out plans and locations, she was with her ex instead. I usually don’t care about these things but just communicate?

At this point it’s starting to feel more like an acquaintance than a genuine friendship. I feel like a backup friend or a convenience friend instead of someone she actually values.

I think what hurts the most is that I used to be someone who genuinely valued friendship deeply. I was the type of person who always checked on people, remembered birthdays, sent messages first, replied quickly, and treated friendships the way I hoped to be treated. Whenever someone needed me, I showed up for them, sometimes even putting their needs above my own.

But eventually I realized I was usually the one carrying the friendship. If I stopped trying, the connection would fade completely.

It sucks realizing that not everyone values friendship the same way you do, but I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t want to keep pouring energy into people who don’t value me the same way i value them.

I genuinely don’t know if it’s even worth saying anything else at this point or if I should just slowly distance myself and stop communicating altogether.
Am I wrong for feeling this way?

I (27F) have been friends with my friend (24F) for almost a year. At one point I felt like we were really close, but over time things started changing. We used to hang out all the time, and now it’s pretty much only once a week to go clubbing. I care about her a lot, but lately I’ve been starting to feel more like a backup friend or just someone she goes out with when it’s convenient.

The last few times I’ve been around her, something has felt off. Recently I texted her asking if she wanted to hang out, and she never replied, but then posted on social media hanging out with another friend. Normally I try not to take things personally and usually brush things like this off, but it’s happened so many times that I’ve started questioning whether we’re actually friends at all or if she’s just really bad at communicating

I eventually brought it up to her and told her that it hurts getting left on read constantly, especially when I later see her out with other people. I told her that if she was busy or didn’t want to hang out, I would’ve appreciated honesty instead of being ignored. She apologized and explained that she was broke at the time and didn’t know how to say it, and said the friend she was out with had paid for her. I reassured her that money has never been an issue to me and that I don’t mind covering sometimes, but my issue was more with the lack of communication than anything else. She admitted she should’ve said something and apologized again.

After that conversation, I thought things were okay, but honestly the behavior never really changed. A week later we hung out, and while she was talking about her love life and what’s been going on with her, I listened and supported her. But when I started opening up about my own life, she completely dismissed me and answered a phone call in the middle of me talking. She apologized, so I kept going, but then she did it again and said she forgot to respond to a friend who she always invites and joins us. At that point I just stopped talking altogether.

That’s honestly when I really started feeling like I’m only around when it benefits her. I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but it’s hard not to feel hurt or to feel this way when other people who were in her life said or felt the same exact way.

Later that same night we went out clubbing and she saw her ex. Since I was her ride home, I checked in to ask if she wanted me to wait for her or if she had another ride because I had work the next morning. She got upset and said I was rushing her, even though I was genuinely just trying to figure out the plan and didn’t want to just leave her especially when she stated before said friend completely left her before, I didn’t want to do that but her response really rubbed me off the wrong way or Idk maybe I’m being too sensitive.

Then she told me the same friend she invited earlier was going to pick her up and hang out with her afterward, and in that moment I honestly felt like I already knew where I stood in her life.

I genuinely care about her, but I’m starting to wonder if this friendship has run its course and if I should just let it go or speak up, once again. AIW?

I have a previous post but I just had to share this because I found this astonishing. I told them I have an appointment tomorrow for my car at 9am because I need to replace my tires as one formed a big bubble (now two as I checked all tires) that I did not notice until I took the kids out today so for safety reasons I need to replace it asap. I told them I can come as soon as I am done. They said “ If you are able to, please schedule it for Wednesday afternoon or Friday afternoon as that’s flexible for NP this week”…..lol my tire can pop at any moment and just stated for safety reasons I need to get it done asap but they want me to schedule it in THEIR time because my original time doesn’t work for them?

ugh seriously thinking about leaving but I have bills to pay!