u/Either_Narwhal9889

I don’t understand why I keep having these dreams about a childhood friend of mine (we still occasionally talk once in a blue moon).
We have been friends for a long time, same friend group and then when everyone split up for various reasons, we kept good contact though, things got more distant over time of course, I’m married and have kids, run my own business so I’m very busy. (I’m 24 for ref)
Anyways, the dreams are never sexual, it’s more of a dramatic movie setting where In the dream it’s a great desire to maybe hold her in the storm, perhaps hug her. It’s all weird dramatic settings, or we’re on a trip together down to some cool conventions, there’s definitely some times in the dreams where I would like to do more but even in my dreams I’m conscious of the fact I have a wife and kids so I never let it get to that, so usually it’s just an empty hole when I wake up and it’s so damn stupid.

There are many small coincidences that make me especially uneasy but that’s for another story.
Anyone else deal with the guilt of the dreams like these?

my wife has ocd, confession, taboo, and ROCD. And ptsd. She came from a bad home and there’s been a lot of work done and I’m proud of her for that, but recently the slips in the cracks of what she’s said to me that are definitely confessions about our relationship from ocd perspective were very rough. Attraction and not feeling like we’re meant to be. How do you deal with these things and pretend it doesn’t hurt you and affect you?

My wife has OCD in many ways and I know it’s very hard for her, between the horrible thoughts and self hatred she feels I know it’s a struggle on the daily. She occasionally sees her specialist but as money can be tight it’s not a super common thing.

Recently her ROCD has been consistently giving her a hard time, she’s mentioned she doesn’t know if we’re meant to be together and stuff like that.

This post is about how she told me she doesn’t know if we’re meant to be together immediately after having sex (I’m talking 30 seconds).
That was a hard one to navigate but I was calm and told her that I’m not upset or hurt and that I know to separate the ocd from you and we’re on the same team. We go to bed and that’s that.

The next night she telling me that the book she is writing, one of the main love interest characters is similar to me in her mind but the main female lead character doesn’t have much chemistry with the guy that she’s originally wrote for her, but another character she’s writing that reminds her of my brother in law, (we aren’t in contact with him anymore for family stuff) anyways, he’s a tall lanky white guy, and for reference I’m a mixed shorter guy.

Also; She definitely wrote the main character after herself to a degree as many authors do.
Anyways, she said how she didn’t find my brother in law unattractive, which was kinda weird but I know how ocd goes.

It progresses into me asking if there’s maybe the obvious contrast difference of body types between my brother in law and me
I’m on the shorter end and she’s in the taller end so there’s maybe 1-2inch difference us. She’s always been insecure of her height, and of course I’ve reassured her that I don’t mind or care at all but she cares about it for only herself which I do understand though.

Basically she admitted that she doesn’t find my height attractive, she likes taller ect, basically a bunch of stuff that kind of just hurt. I have always been strong for her but man this just hurt. I understand if this doesn’t seem very bad but damn I drank myself to sleep and immediately went to work to try to figure my stuff out.
Any opinions?

My wife struggles with OCD, especially ROCD, so she often has intrusive doubts about our relationship. I usually try to stay supportive and separate the OCD from who she really is.

Recently, right after sex, she told me she doesn’t know if we’re meant to be together. That hurt, but I stayed calm and reassured her.

The next night we were talking about a book she’s writing. She compared one character to me and another to my brother-in-law. That led into a conversation about attraction and body types. She admitted she prefers taller men and doesn’t find my height attractive.

I’ve always tried to be strong and understanding through everything, but that really hurt me. I ended up drinking myself to sleep and went to work feeling messed up.

My wife has ocd in many ways and I know it’s very hard for her, between the horrible thoughts and self hatred she feels I know it’s a struggle on the daily. She occasionally sees her specialist but as money can be tight it’s not a super common thing.
Recently her ROCD has been consistently giving her a hard time, she’s mentioned she doesn’t know if we’re meant to be together and stuff like that.
This post is about how she told me she doesn’t know if we’re meant to be together immediately after having sex (I’m talking 30 seconds).
That was a hard one to navigate but I was calm and told her that I’m not upset or hurt and that I know to separate the ocd from you and we’re on the same team. We go to bed and that’s that.
The next night she telling me that the book she is writing, one of the main love interest characters is similar to me in her mind but the main female lead character doesn’t have much chemistry with the guy that she’s originally wrote for her, but another character she’s writing that reminds her of my brother in law, (we aren’t in contact with him anymore for family stuff) anyways, he’s a tall lanky white guy, and for reference I’m a mixed shorter guy.

Also; She definitely wrote the main character after herself to a degree as many authors do.
Anyways, she said how she didn’t find my brother in law unattractive, which was kinda weird but I know how ocd goes.

It progresses into me asking if there’s maybe the obvious contrast difference of body types between my brother in law and me
I’m on the shorter end and she’s in the taller end so there’s maybe 1-2inch difference us. She’s always been insecure of her height, and of course I’ve reassured her that I don’t mind or care at all but she cares about it for only herself which I do understand though.

Basically she admitted that she doesn’t find my height attractive, she likes taller ect, basically a bunch of stuff that kind of just hurt. I have always been strong for her but man this just hurt. I understand if this doesn’t seem very bad but damn I drank myself to sleep and immediately went to work to try to figure my stuff out.
Any opinions?

My wife has ocd in many ways and I know it’s very hard for her, between the horrible thoughts and self hatred she feels I know it’s a struggle on the daily. She occasionally sees her specialist but as money can be tight it’s not a super common thing.
Recently her ROCD has been consistently giving her a hard time, she’s mentioned she doesn’t know if we’re meant to be together and stuff like that.
This post is about how she told me she doesn’t know if we’re meant to be together immediately after having sex (I’m talking 30 seconds).
That was a hard one to navigate but I was calm and told her that I’m not upset or hurt and that I know to separate the ocd from you and we’re on the same team. We go to bed and that’s that.
The next night she telling me that the book she is writing, one of the main love interest characters is similar to me in her mind but the main female lead character doesn’t have much chemistry with the guy that she’s originally wrote for her, but another character she’s writing that reminds her of my brother in law, (we aren’t in contact with him anymore for family stuff) anyways, he’s a tall lanky white guy, and for reference I’m a mixed shorter guy.

Also; She definitely wrote the main character after herself to a degree as many authors do.
Anyways, she said how she didn’t find my brother in law unattractive, which was kinda weird but I know how ocd goes.

It progresses into me asking if there’s maybe the obvious contrast difference of body types between my brother in law and me
I’m on the shorter end and she’s in the taller end so there’s maybe 1-2inch difference us. She’s always been insecure of her height, and of course I’ve reassured her that I don’t mind or care at all but she cares about it for only herself which I do understand though.

Basically she admitted that she doesn’t find my height attractive, she likes taller ect, basically a bunch of stuff that kind of just hurt. I have always been strong for her but man this just hurt. I understand if this doesn’t seem very bad but damn I drank myself to sleep and immediately went to work to try to figure my stuff out.
Any opinions?