u/Confidence8547

This is about to be a long one! I am the person who posted the "am I wrong for not wanting to make eggs post" in the Charlotte Dobre subreddit. For context, I am 12 almost 13 years married next month. Our marriage started off in a weird way. I met him via the dating website I was using to get customers. I was homeless "selling my body" because I lost my job and my parents have never been supportive of me. I grew up in a single parent household ( my mom is bipolar)I was pregnant with "our child" ( I put ours because this child isn't my husband's bio kid) I also have another child with husband. (2 kids he and I raise together). Then I had a child before I got married, I have 3 children all together. My husband treats his child great but my kids are basically a burden. If he does anything for them he will later throw it in my face during times where he is mad at me. He used to throw in my face that my child isn't his kid but then tell my kid "I'm your dad". So to stop, I told my kid the truth. I'm not innocent at all I did do things in the beginning of our marriage out of my own trust issues. I used to yell back at him and hit him if he hit me. He used to go to work with scratch marks on his arm and neck from arguing. I have had bruises and things too. I have stopped hitting and he has not. This feels like torture and I feel like I deserve it because of what I did in the beginning. When he found out that I was pregnant and what I was doing. he offered to stay with him and his mom. when I got into the house I said "now I get to see how it is to use someone" I know how that sounds but I meant it in the most genuine way. I am not good with words because I've been told to "shut up and do what I say" all my life including in this relationship. I'm almost 40 and I still mess up on my words. I've been to therapy and I have somewhat of a relationship with my mom. it's been years since I've done any "wrong" to him. His mom passed away 4 years ago and when she passed away I went into the room to check on him and he got nasty with me, so I said "I'm not the one who took your mom". he was cussing and calling me all kinds of names before I said that. I also have heard him bad mouth his mom multiple times. he has argued with her when she was alive and his other family members. The reason I feel like I don't want to be married anymore is because he has been yelling at me and constantly being abusive towards me. He forces me to give him gluck gluck daily. If I say no or act like I don't want to do it, I still end up doing it. I have woken up to use the restroom in the morning (like 3 or 5 am) come back to lay down and he's got his pants off. When he is mad whatever he buys me "is getting donated". He throws everything into a garbage bag and tells me he's going to give it to Goodwill. Then when he is done being mad I have to put it away again. I am tired of hearing about what a wife is supposed to do in a marriage (submit to her husband) but what about the husband. "Provide and protect" is not all that a man is supposed to do. He tells me that I don't do anything for my kids, but I work just like he does. Probably more than he does honestly. When my children were younger (before school age) I stayed home. I tried to work but he wouldn't ever come home so I could go to work (he was supposed to work in the daytime and I work in the evening) and I couldn't leave the kids at home with his sick mother. So I quit my job. It's been years of hell and I don't want my children thinking this is okay. He says that I cheated on him because when I left him the first time I "sent naked pics" to a dude that lives in another State. But he actually slept with 2 other women since we've been married. The first time was the same time that I sent the naked pics. The second time I was still with him and living in this house we called home. I know I was wrong for sending the pics. But he is also wrong. When he is yelling at me I try not to get angry and yell back but it is hard when he continues to yell at me. Then he will say I'm acting crazy because I tried to tell him about how he treats me. He also uses his grandma to manipulate me and think that I'm wrong. He will take me to her house and say she needs to talk to me about my behavior. I told her that it's not me but she just takes his side every time. I am not sure if I'm crazy or not. Am I supposed to stay or leave this crazy rollercoaster of a marriage?

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This is about to be a long one! I am the person who posted the "am I wrong for not wanting to make eggs post" For context, I am 12 almost 13 years married next month. Our marriage started off in a weird way. I met him via the dating website I was using to get customers. I was homeless "selling my body" because I lost my job and my parents have never been supportive of me. I grew up in a single parent household ( my mom is a bipolar narcissist) I was pregnant with "our child" ( I put ours because this child isn't my husband's bio kid) I also have another child with husband. (2 kids he and I raise together). Then I had a child before I got married, I have 3 children all together. My husband treats his child great but my kids are basically a burden. If he does anything for them he will later throw it in my face during times where he is mad at me. He used to throw in my face that my child isn't his kid but then tell my kid "I'm your dad". So to stop, I told my kid the truth. I'm not innocent at all I did do things in the beginning of our marriage out of my own trust issues. I used to yell back at him and hit him if he hit me. He used to go to work with scratch marks on his arm and neck from arguing. I have had bruises and things too. I have stopped hitting and he has not. This feels like torture and I feel like I deserve it because of what I did in the beginning. When he found out that I was pregnant and what I was doing. he offered to stay with him and his mom. when I got into the house I said "now I get to see how it is to use someone" I know how that sounds but I meant it in the most genuine way. I am not good with words because I've been told to "shut up and do what I say" all my life including in this relationship. I'm almost 40 and I still mess up on my words. I've been to therapy and I have somewhat of a relationship with my mom. it's been years since I've done any "wrong" to him. His mom passed away 4 years ago and when she passed away I went into the room to check on him and he got nasty with me, so I said "I'm not the one who took your mom". he was cussing and calling me all kinds of names before I said that. I also have heard him bad mouth his mom multiple times. he has argued with her when she was alive and his other family members. The reason I feel like I don't want to be married anymore is because he has been yelling at me and constantly being abusive towards me. He forces me to give him gluck gluck daily. If I say no or act like I don't want to do it, I still end up doing it. I have woken up to use the restroom in the morning (like 3 or 5 am) come back to lay down and he's got his pants off. When he is mad whatever he buys me "is getting donated". He throws everything into a garbage bag and tells me he's going to give it to Goodwill. Then when he is done being mad I have to put it away again. I am tired of hearing about what a wife is supposed to do in a marriage but what about the husband. "Provide and protect" is not all that a man is supposed to do. He tells me that I don't do anything for my kids, but I work just like he does. Probably more than he does honestly. When my children were younger (before school age) I stayed home. I tried to work but he wouldn't ever come home so I could go to work (he was supposed to work in the daytime and I work in the evening) and I couldn't leave the kids at home with his sick mother. So I quit my job. It's been years of hell and I don't want my children thinking this is okay. He says that I cheated on him because when I left him the first time I "sent naked pics" to a dude that lives in another State. But he actually slept with 2 other women since we've been married. The first time was the same time that I sent the naked pics. The second time I was still with him and living in this house we called home. I know I was wrong for sending the pics. But he is also wrong. When he is yelling at me I try not to get angry and yell back but it is hard when he continues to berade me. Then he will say I'm acting crazy because I tried to tell him about how he treats me. He also uses his grandma to manipulate me and think that I'm wrong. He will take me to her house and say she needs to talk to me about my behavior. I told her that it's not me but she just takes his side every time. I am not sure if I'm crazy or not. Am I supposed to stay or leave this crazy rollercoaster of a marriage?

Sorry so long, For context I have been married to my partner for 12 going on 13 years next month. we have 2 children. When we first got married he met me in the worst state in my life. I grew up with a narcissist as a parent, who is bipolar. when I met him my mom had kicked me out and I lost my job, I was pregnant with "our" son (I put quotations because he isn't my husband's bio kid). I was in my 20's and dumb as hell. So to make money to keep a roof over my head at least until I could find another job, I "sold my body". which is how I met him via the dating website I was using to get customers. there are no homeless shelters in my town. When he found out that I was pregnant and what I was doing. he offered to stay with him and his mom. when I got into the house I said "now I get to see how it is to use someone" I know how that sounds but I meant it in the most genuine way. I am not good with words because I've been told to "shut up and do what I say" all my life including in this relationship. I'm almost 40 and I still mess up on my words. I've been to therapy and I have somewhat of a relationship with my mom. it's been years since I've done any "wrong" to him . His mom passed away 4 years ago and when she passed away I went into the room to check on him and he got nasty with me, so I said "I'm not the one who took your mom". he was cussing and calling me all kinds of names before I said that. I also have heard him bad mouth his mom multiple times. he has argued with her when she was alive and his other family members. it's not like he is innocent in this at all he has tried to do things to me. I have tried to leave multiple times and he finds me every time. I don't have family here my mom lives in another country. I get around via public transportation right now or ask him for a ride when he isn't mad at me. I have a job and I'm working on trying to get on my feet. I have a few ailments arthritis, migraines, PCOS but nothing major. I know I'm not innocent but I know that forgiveness is a thing that means you don't constantly hold the past over someone else's head. I have changed a lot from when I was younger. I pray daily that he would see this version of me instead of my past. I made a lot of mistakes in my youth that if I could change I would. I forgot to mention that I also have a child that my mom raised because I didn't have any family support at age 21. my mom put me on child support for him that I didn't find out about until I moved in with husband. government took taxes for that and husband claims it was his tax money but we signed a paper each year that only took my percentage except the last year of payments after my mom fully adopted my child. which stopped child support. Am I supposed to stay or leave this crazy rollercoaster of a marriage?

I recently got into a disagreement with my "husband" because I didn't make eggs for our children at breakfast. So I usually make breakfast in the morning for our children and he never comes in the kitchen but this day he did. He was acting all happy "where's my food, lol" I said "you told me not to make you anything". Then he leans over to look at what I am cooking and says "where's the eggs?" I said "I didn't make eggs because our daughter usually doesn't eat them, plus I only have 20 minutes left until she needs to get ready for the school bus." For context we have 2 kids a son and a daughter. He proceeded to ask the kids if they wanted eggs, kids say yes! Then when I didn't want to make them he proceeded to yell at me for reiterating what I said before. He's trying to say that I was trying to start something with him and I was the one yelling and acting "crazy" (his words). All I did was try to get him to understand that I didn't want food to go to waste. He thinks that I was "acting crazy" because according to him "I'm always angry and acting crazy". If I were to do the same thing with anyone else I wouldn't have gotten this reaction. The children had a full plate before the eggs were made. sausage, potatoes, and apple slices. I did make the eggs in the same pan that I made the sausage while I was reiterating what I said. Also he made breakfast for the kids for a week while I was gone and he thinks that makes sense that he would know what they do and don't eat. I have been the only person making breakfast for our children since they started school. I tried to ask him to wake them up before but all he did was yell their names and tell them to eat cereal or school breakfast. at one point. He even yelled at me saying, "I don't need to make breakfast every morning". my children are in public school (USA) and the breakfast and lunches are barely any food to feed anyone. I did get angry after he yelled at me and did things to push my buttons but I wasn't angry before that. Am I crazy or is this controlling behavior?