u/Chromatikai

Hello! I'm close to finishing the sixth draft of my high fantasy novel, We the Brazen, and I'm getting very close to the limit of how much I can improve it with just beta readers and myself.

Draft five has been read by about five people, and they really enjoyed: the writing, the world, and the characters, but no one mentioned the plot as a strength. A few mentioned it as a weakness. So I figure I should stop trying to edit it myself and go seek expertise from someone who knows how to fix plots.

I plan to self publish and make the book available for free online and I am well aware I will not make a return on my investment. But this would be my first published book and I really want it to be high quality and have a solid foundation for future books in the series.

I can only afford one type of editing at maximum at the moment and because I have to choose I'm going for developmental editing -- if I don't decide to give it out to beta readers instead. I think a sound story is much more important than pretty prose. If the occasional typo or awkward phrase slips through I'm okay with that.

I'm autistic and have a pretty good eye for detail, but not big picture things, so I figure I can do the line editing myself because that's detailed work.

I could avoid spending thousands of pounds for a developmental edit by sending it out to beta readers instead - I'm in a few servers where we do critique swaps. But I'm just worried that without professional feedback it won't be a good first book.

I've been writing it for fourteen years, ever since I was thirteen, and it's on the twentieth draft. I haven't worked on any other long projects except for this one, and only one of of my short stories has been accepted by a publisher, and I'm young, so surely I should wait until I'm on my deathbed before writing to maximise the amount of life experience I have, which will surely translate into good writing.

The story is a 90k word long dystopian slice of life high fantasy with alien mermaids as protagonists and it follows the three protagonists as they try and discover who's attempting to murder an undead, autistic blind diplomat (said undead diplomat happens to be one of the protagonists). I worry it's not unique enough, and perhaps too stereotypical, as one of the autistic characters is gentle and innocent and that's a stereotype of autistic people.

I've read the entirety of my book aloud several times to spot errors, have paid for a developmental editor, and plan on making it available for free, however I still worry about wasting the reader's time even though they have free will and can put the free book away the moment they dislike it.

Do you think my book is ready to share with the world?

Source: where I'd be in five years if I let my doubts win

I'm medium support needs autistic and schizophrenic. I really want to give back to the world and be useful to people and I'd like to get a job.

The reason I might be the asshole for trying is because if I get a job I'll lose my benefits I think. And if I get worse or burn out or have a psychotic break I would then be jobless and not on benefits and my parents would have to do all the work to get my benefits back because I'd be incapable of helping them. And they'd spend a lot of money on me to keep me safe until my benefits were back. 

I might also be incapable of working full time because I really struggle to do my 4 hour volunteer shift on Saturday's at a local bookshop. 

Personally I think I'd be the asshole if I tried to get a job but I want more input. Maybe I'm being ridiculous and it's fine to try but I don't think so because if I fail then it all falls on my parents to take care of me again.

A former friend SA'd me, I have schizophrenia and medium support needs autism but I want to work a full time job, a childhood best friend stopped talking to me and their other friends because they had a breakdown and I feel useless and unable to help, and I just want to give to the world more than I can take and I'm not sure I can do that.

I only have one in person friend who lives nearby but he's busy all the time and I've only talked in person to carers, my parents, and the guy who SA'd me in the past five months and I am desperately lonely but too scared to make new friends because I don't want to be SA'd again. And I have severe memory issues but want to write a fantasy novel that's genuinely good and make art and sew and make music but I might not even be able to do just one of these things well.

Thank you for reading I hope your day is wonderful and kind to you 🫂

I'm really lonely and have only one friend in the same city as me and he's busy all the time and also a private person. I want to make new friends but am scared they'll SA me like my former friend did.

I'm very affectionate even though I'm acearo and I like sending people letters and hugging and I'm scared friends will see this as me being into them and that they'll want me as a lover and pressure me into romance and sexual stuff just like my former friend did.

I really want to make new in person friends but I'm scared.

Question: How do I spot bad people when I try to make friends? I was SA'd by a former friend and it made me very wary of making new friends because I'm scared that will happen to me again. 

I'm very lonely and have only one friend who lives close to me - all my other friends are online. So I want to make more in person friends but I'm scared. How do I know if someone is a good person I can trust? 

I used to struggle really badly with movement . I couldn't even play minecraft because that was too tricky and I spent most of my days stuck in bed doing nothing. But for some reason aripirazole almost completely cured that along with my pschosis and I don't know why? Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Someone explained that medication is a support need so even though I have fewer symptoms now I'd still be the same level of support as before. So I'd still be medium support needs even though I'm doing better on meds.

Things I can do now: Go outside once a day to go on a short walk. Any more than that and I get very stressed and tired. Stream for a few hours most days of the week and entertain people/talk pretty constantly as I stream. I only stream my special interests which makes it very fun and easy to talk about. I have a volunteer job on Saturdays for four hours but frequently leave early because I get so tired my hands lose coordination and I can't move properly. I order my own groceries online. I feel very happy to be able to do these things now.

I still have lots of issues like not being able to understand tone and needing to wear headphones indoors because the sound of my own breathing is too loud otherwise. I have more issues but forgot, which reminds me of my memory issues, which are pretty terrible.

Before meds I couldn't even play minecraft because the movements were too tricky or cook at all or order groceries by myself. So because I improved so much I felt like I'd have to step back in this community but maybe I'm still medium support needs. I don't know. I'm sorry if this post is incohrent or hard to comprehend I haven't slept.

My carers and parents take care of the rest like doctor's appointment and finances. Carers come twice a day to remind me to take my medication. I know they do more tthan that but because I have no part in it I'm not aware of how much care I'm given. I know it's a lot and much more than I remember.

Thank you for reading I hope your days are kind and wonderful.

I definitely used to be medium support needs. However I'm on medication (aripiprazole) now that treated the comorbidities that made me medium support needs, and I want to make sure this community stays focused on HSN and MSN autistic people so I won't be posting here any more. I'll still respond to comments if other people are alright with that though!

Thank you so much for creating a welcoming community. I felt seen and understood here for the first time in all my life. It's a wonderful place and I'll miss it.