u/ButtFister1789

I have several chronic GI problems, also had huge GI viral infections when young. I probably have thrown up during my childhood more times than most adults have in their whole lives combined. Now I have GORD (acid reflux) and functional dyspepsia. I am from San Francisco, USA, and I do not even drink tap water here. It is a missnaming to call the USA a first-world country, but for this post I will call it as such for this hypothetical.

My girlfriend's brother went on holiday to Da Nang, Vietnam, accidentally brushed his teeth with tap water, then got his GI system absolutely obliterated, bedridden with fever, throwing up and diarrhoea for a week. And this guy has a much stronger stomach than I do.

So I got thinking, how fraught would it be for me if I did the same as he did and brushed my teeth in or drank tap water either there or in third-world countries like Mexico, Pakistan, Thailand, Jamaica, Brazil, etc.? Would I likely get destroyed?

I see that nowadays Western therapists have to report certain things, which means that third-world patients are highly suspicious of them and will lie by saying no if asked if they have experienced corporal punishment by their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and other family if all of these family members are from third-world countries.

I the third-world, when one grows up, beating beaten for the slightest thing, like being unable to eat all of your dinner even though it tastes worse than rotting fish and dog shıt, is highly normal. Is it true that Western therapists report these things? Even patients who are born in the West, yet have all of their family from third-world countries, will rather follow a script so that the therapist does not report.

So how do such patients explain to their western therapists about beatings in both childhood and adulthood, which is extremely common in countries like Mexico, Indonesia, the Philippines, Malaysia, Pakistan, Trinidad, Jamaica, Egypt, etc.? Is there a way for a patient to have the therapist sign a form that they promise under perjury to never report what is seen as normal family experiences in such countries?

Also, first-world countries like Singapore, you can get beaten at school for poor discipline, even though Singapore is highly Westernised, perhaps the most Westernised country in the Orient.

For those in the third world or who have third world family, what do you do if your family is the one who is the one who decides if you get to see a therapist and if you do, they will handpick the therapist, who must agree explicitly to be a puppet of the family?

For example, if someone is an adult living in a multi generational household, whose parents and grandparents will only agree to letting them see a therapist if the therapist agrees to tell the patient how dumb they are, how they know nothing and must obey every single order their family tells them and accept all punishment, including corporal punishment, shouting, yelling, etc., plus the therapist must agree to be filmed and give over the film to the family after each session?

For reference I will be 37M, born and raised in San Francisco, USA, a city that seldom snows and whose weather is too hot for me. For reference, for me, 'too hot' is anything.iver freezing (0 C/32 F). There is almost no 'too cold' for me. I need blizzard snow weather 24/7/365. Not having snow is killing me mentally.

I lived a few years in Central Wisconsin during the pandemic in my girlfriend's hometown. We moved to San Francisco to save money, since I have a house here. The lack of snow is depressing me to the point I cannot stip think about it fewer than 20000 times a day. I miss the snow we had in Wisconsin, and I miss the cold and dark. I also lived in Northern England for a few years, where I went to university. The snow dark and cold there I also miss.

It is getting so bad we are considering moving to Minneapolis before I leave to go study in Europe next year. But in the meantime I crave snow so badly. I feel like what a drug addict feels, except instead of drugs, I need snow darkness, murk and cold. My dream is for us to live in northern Finland northern Sweden or northern Norway (Nordnorge).

My body cannot handle temperatures over 10 C (50 F). Since it is 20 C today, I feel like dying. Imagine 35 C, which we will get later in August, September and October. I have reverse SAD. Lack of snow gives me panic attacks as well.

These are the things I HATE about the weather here:

-sunlight

-sunshine

-warmth

-heat

-no snow

-no darkness

How do I handle this soul-crushing depression from lack of snow, darkness and cold winters?

For reference I will be 37M, born and raised in San Francisco, USA, a city that seldom snows and whose weather is too hot for me. For reference, for me, 'too hot' is anything.iver freezing (0 C/32 F). There is almost no 'too cold' for me. I need blizzard snow weather 24/7/365. Not having snow is killing me mentally.

I lived a few years in Central Wisconsin during the pandemic in my girlfriend's hometown. We moved to San Francisco to save money, since I have a house here. The lack of snow is depressing me to the point I cannot stip think about it fewer than 20000 times a day. I miss the snow we had in Wisconsin, and I miss the cold and dark. I also lived in Northern England for a few years, where I went to university. The snow dark and cold there I also miss.

It is getting so bad we are considering moving to Minneapolis before I leave to go study in Europe next year. But in the meantime I crave snow so badly. I feel like what a drug addict feels, except instead of drugs, I need snow darkness, murk and cold. My dream is for us to live in northern Finland northern Sweden or northern Norway (Nordnorge).

My body cannot handle temperatures over 10 C (50 F). Since it is 20 C today, I feel like dying. Imagine 35 C, which we will get later in August, September and October. I have reverse SAD. Lack of snow gives me panic attacks as well.

These are the things I HATE about the weather here:

-sunlight

-sunshine

-warmth

-heat

-no snow

-no darkness

How do I handle this soul-crushing depression from lack of snow, darkness and cold winters?

For reference I will be 37M, born and raised in San Francisco, USA, a city that seldom snows and whose weather is too hot for me. For reference, for me, 'too hot' is anything.iver freezing (0 C/32 F). There is almost no 'too cold' for me. I need blizzard snow weather 24/7/365. Not having snow is killing me mentally.

I lived a few years in Central Wisconsin during the pandemic in my girlfriend's hometown. We moved to San Francisco to save money, since I have a house here. The lack of snow is depressing me to the point I cannot stip think about it fewer than 20000 times a day. I miss the snow we had in Wisconsin, and I miss the cold and dark. I also lived in Northern England for a few years, where I went to university. The snow dark and cold there I also miss.

It is getting so bad we are considering moving to Minneapolis before I leave to go study in Europe next year. But in the meantime I crave snow so badly. I feel like what a drug addict feels, except instead of drugs, I need snow darkness, murk and cold. My dream is for us to live in northern Finland northern Sweden or northern Norway (Nordnorge).

My body cannot handle temperatures over 10 C (50 F). Since it is 20 C today, I feel like dying. Imagine 35 C, which we will get later in August, September and October. I have reverse SAD. Lack of snow gives me panic attacks as well.

These are the things I HATE about the weather here:

-sunlight

-sunshine

-warmth

-no snow

-no darkness

How do I handle this soul-crushing depression from lack of snow, darkness and cold winters?

I was born in 1989 so will be 37 in a few months. In 2006 my life collapsed. Both physical and mental health dropped to rock bottom. Family problems, money problems, all aspects of life. Only in 2025 have these things gotten better, but still. I was stuck at home close to bedridden for most of those 19 years.

I managed to do certain things despite being threatened to be sent to a madhouse and despite losing a third of my body weight with a BMI of 11 and feeling like throwing up 24/7/365 for many of those years, like get 3 STEM degrees. But in 2006 I was working towards two life goals: enrol in medical school in Europe and becoming a chess grandmaster. I was on track to do both when my life 'ended ' in 2006. I basically lost 18 years of my life.

How do I reconcile with the fact that I lost 19 years,s whole lifetime, between 2006 and 2025 and now I am getting back into applying to med school in Europe and competing to get requirements to become a GM?

The big problem is that my brain is stuck in 2006 mode; although I turn 37 this year, I have the highly sickening, eerie feeling that I am in fact 17, yet I will be 37 this year. My brain tells me I am a 17 year old, the year is still 2006. I cannot even accept that people are born in the 2000s, and everyone's birth year is 19xx, like me. I also am not used to modern technology. I findnit odd that phones have Internet and smartphones, like the one I am using actually exist. Aeroplanes have Internet. Wtf? I am still shocked at how technology is different, since my mind says I am 17, the year is 2006 and I am still in high school with a Nokia phone.

What would therapists recommend bere when I basically was in a coma, but figuratively socne I was indeed conscious during the years of 2006 and 2025, yet I was as good as dead or in a vegetative state?

I was born in 1989 so will be 37 in a few months. In 2006 my life collapsed. Both physical and mental health dropped to rock bottom. Family problems, money problems, all aspects of life. Only in 2025 have these things gotten better, but still. I was stuck at home close to bedridden for most of those 19 years.

I managed to do certain things despite being threatened to be sent to a madhouse and despite losing a third of my body weight with a BMI of 11 and feeling like throwing up 24/7/365 for many of those years, like get 3 STEM degrees. But in 2006 I was working towards two life goals: enrol in medical school in Europe and becoming a chess grandmaster. I was on track to do both when my life 'ended ' in 2006. I basically lost 18 years of my life.

How do I reconcile with the fact that I lost 19 years,s whole lifetime, between 2006 and 2025 and now I am getting back into applying to med school in Europe and competing to get requirements to become a GM?

The big problem is that my brain is stuck in 2006 mode; although I turn 37 this year, I have the highly sickening, eerie feeling that I am in fact 17, yet I will be 37 this year. My brain tells me I am a 17 year old, the year is still 2006. I cannot even accept that people are born in the 2000s, and everyone's birth year is 19xx, like me. I also am not used to modern technology. I findnit odd that phones have Internet and smartphones, like the one I am using actually exist. Aeroplanes have Internet. Wtf? I am still shocked at how technology is different, since my mind says I am 17, the year is 2006 and I am still in high school with a Nokia phone.

What would therapists recommend bere when I basically was in a coma, but figuratively socne I was indeed conscious during the years of 2006 and 2025, yet I was as good as dead or in a vegetative state?

I was listening to Swedish news a few minutes ago and I got reminded of 'landsting' in the Swedish broadcast. I then thought, would it possible to use 'landsthing' for a city council, and whoever works there is a 'thingsman' or 'thingswoman'?

I notice comments about how people from the West often say stuff like 'Just move out', 'you are 36, you can do what you want', which is absolute BS for those who grew up in a non western household. Do you not know that moving out at 18 is beyond ridiculous and unheard of Confucianist cultures, as well as those from the Indian subcontinent, the West Indies, Africa, Middle East, etc ?

So I am thinking, do Western therapists usually think the answer is something simple, since it would be simple in the West, but this would be unbelievably dumb advice for someone who even lives in the West, but has parents, grandparents and extended family all from a strict, more old-fashioned culture than a western one?

I notice comments about how people from the West often say stuff like 'Just move out', 'you are 36, you can do what you want', which is absolute BS for those who grew up in a non western household. Do you not know that moving out at 18 is beyond ridiculous and unheard of Confucianist cultures, as well as those from the Indian subcontinent, the West Indies, Africa, Middle East, etc ?

So I am thinking, do Western therapists usually think the answer is something simple, since it would be simple in the West, but this would be unbelievably dumb advice for someone who even lives in the West, but has parents, grandparents and extended family all from a strict, more old-fashioned culture than a western one?

Every single person in my family, as well as almost every single person whom I know is into hot weather. However this is not just preference, it is personal. This is even worse since I am from San Francisco, USA, a city full of hot weather lovers and snow haters, and I have to be here until I flee the country next year to Europe.

What is it that triggers people so much? I never ask others about their weather preference. Nor do I provoke others about saying, 'Hey, what a great sunny day right? Much better than the snowstorms in Europe!'. But that is what others do to me here. I have been in full-blown arguments with family even, being shouted at for being a SOB, which family likes to call me, for being an arsehole because I refuse to like hot weather.

Why do people do this ? I have to shut myself in and the only person I can talk to is my girlfriend, who is from Wisconsin and hates hot weather all the time and hates the people here in San Francisco as much as I do.

Every single person in my family, as well as almost every single person whom I know is into hot weather. However this is not just preference, it is personal. This is even worse since I am from San Francisco, USA, a city full of hot weather lovers and snow haters, and I have to be here until I flee the country next year to Europe.

What is it that triggers people so much? I never ask others about their weather preference. Nor do I provoke others about saying, 'Hey, what a great sunny day right? Much better than the snowstorms in Europe!'. But that is what others do to me here. I have been in full-blown arguments with family even, being shouted at for being a SOB, which family likes to call me, for being an arsehole because I refuse to like hot weather.

Why do pelle do this ? I have to shut myself in and the only person I can talk to is my girlfriend, who is from Wisconsin and hates hot weather all the time and hates the people here in San Francisco as much as I do.

I am turning 37 this winter (b. 1989), yet every year I have more and more vellus hairs going teinsñ and that is even without minoxidil.

For example, my moustache barely touched the goatee, but around age 32, I got full handlebar connectors. My cheeks began to fill in a bit, albeit slowly, to the point that from age 29 to now at 36, they look unrecognisable.

I am also 60% chinese, 25% Spanish is and 15% other rubbish. Since age 13 I had highly hairy legs and upper abdomen. I never had chest hair (although I always had vellus hairs there). Now my abdomen hair is slowly turning terminal going up close to my solar plexus.

I also have neck hairs growing below my jaw line and all over my Adam's apple, something that never happened before my 30s.

This is all happening when I will be 37 soon. For most here, it looks like these things happen when one is 15 or 16. Why is this happening in my late 30s, but not in my teenage years?

I am writing this question only for those with anxiety and other disorders who are either from the third world or if you live in a Western county, have family who are from the third world, especially from a culture that prioritises filial piety, elder worship, corporal punishment, a 'conform or else' society where everyone lives with their parents and grandparents and never moves out, etc.

If you are a Westerner, especially if you are White, do not answer even try this if you do not understand these cultural differences.

What do you do when you have a panic attack, but your family get pissed off when they witness your anxiety?

For example, a few years ago, during a long-haul flight on a A380 of 11 hours going back home, there was extremely bad weather and windshear when we had to land. There were two go-arounds after attempted landings with windshear, then the pilots flew round and round over 200 km away from the airport. On a third try, they managed to land on a different runway. During this whole madness, I had a full-blown panic attack lasting over 30 minutes. My parents were extremely angry at me, and I was told that I was 'refusing' to calm down and act like a normal person.

As someone from this kind of environment, how do you deal with this when your family hates your anxiety and panic attacks, even yelling at you in public, and when get home, even worse?

I last played a FIDE norm tournament in 2006, when I was 17. Now in 2026 I kind of 'wake up' from a figurative coma and see that there are chess streamers who have cameras streaming their whole games when they play OTB FIDE rated classical tournaments.

Back in 2006, I never saw this. I only recently learnt about what smartphones are. I am guessing that these streamers on YouTube hook up some kind of gadget that shows the board, but also their face a well as their opponent's face.

Now I have no idea how this works, I am guessing that all of the streamer's opponents consent to being filmed. But hypothetically, what happens if one of the streamer's opponents refuses to give consent to be filmed, then the streamer's fans in the comments organise to harass and bully the opponent off the board? Would that usually be seen as taboo?

I am only asking in general terms. I truly have no idea what this environment is like, what the rules both erittnw and unwritten are, but it looks like I have a lot to catch up on as I come back to playing FIDE norm classical events.

The reason is that I hate being on camera when doing anything, especially playing OTB, I even try to hide my social media photos so no one sees my face. I also am paranoid given I was doxxed 2 months ago.