u/Big_Increase_7002

I think I'm pretty depressed. The best thing in my life is my kids, who I love very much and they love me, but everything feels really flat lately. I'm stuck in the same routine of taking them to school, going to work, and if I'm not working late, spending time with them before bed. I love getting to do that and I'm grateful for it, but I feel like I'm in such a rut outside of that.

I don't think my wife cares about me anymore. I don't know what she does when I'm not there, but when I am home and can take over with the kids, she's on her phone all the time with an earbud in. I'm trying really hard to be there with them and set a good example of not being on the screen all the time, but I can't get her on board with that. I don't know what she's doing on her phone, and she might need that mental break, but it takes away from time with us, and she'll never get that time back with the kids when they're this young.

The last couple of weeks my wife has barely talked to me unless she needs me to do something, but I also don't have the energy to reach out to her. She wore a tank top one morning and I was looking at it, being low cut and all, and she said me looking at her like that made her uncomfortable. Intimacy has gone way down in the last 2 years since our youngest was born, and I know that's normal, but her saying that I make her uncomfortable really hurt. She has said in the past when we've gotten into discussions about our marriage that she thinks marriage isn't for her and she misses her freedom, and that she only had sex with me because she wanted kids. I thought her actions contradicted that so I didn't believe her at the time, but now I think I do. I wish she wanted to connect with me like she used to, but I might need to accept that stage of our marriage is over even though we're only in our early 40s.

I'm the one who takes them to all of their sports events, things like that and I love doing it and being involved. But I wish my wife would be more involved with those. She hasn't been to a single soccer game for either kid, and doesn't seem to have any interest. She never asks how they were or anything like that. I know we all have our own things going on, and she says it's too much with everything else she has to do. I believe her, but I know the kids would love it if she was there. Most of the other parents have never seen her. They could think I'm raising them alone for all I know.

For work I own my own business, which doesn't make as much as I want, but it's enough for me to cover my part of things, and gives me freedom over my schedule to be there for the kids, take them to their events, things like that. That was a conscious choice so that I wouldn't have to miss them growing up, which is something I couldn't stand the thought of. But I'm worried that in the future I won't have enough to retire and will have to work for the rest of my life. I would still trade that for time now with the kids, but it has been stressing me out lately. I've been thinking that the best case scenario would be for me to die before I get too old to be a burden someone else needs to take care of, or live my last crappy years in a bad nursing home.

Occasionally I have the thought that I wish I could be in an accident or medical problem. I'm not going to do anything to myself, but sometimes I feel like I want to have that choice made for me somehow. I know it's selfish and I still want to be here for my kids and see them grow into adults, but at the same time I'm so tired of everything and so lonely in my own marriage.

I know that's a lot, but if anyone read this, thank you for taking the time to do it. I'm open to any advice but mostly just needed to get these things out.

I think I'm pretty depressed. The best thing in my life is my kids, who I love very much and they love me, but everything feels really flat lately. I'm stuck in the same routine of taking them to school, going to work, and if I'm not working late, spending time with them before bed. I love getting to do that and I'm grateful for it, but I feel like I'm in such a rut outside of that.

I don't think my wife cares about me anymore. I don't know what she does when I'm not there, but when I am home and can take over with the kids, she's on her phone all the time with an earbud in. I'm trying really hard to be there with them and set a good example of not being on the screen all the time, but I can't get her on board with that. I don't know what she's doing on her phone, and she might need that mental break, but it takes away from time with us, and she'll never get that time back with the kids when they're this young.

The last couple of weeks my wife has barely talked to me unless she needs me to do something, but I also don't have the energy to reach out to her. She wore a tank top one morning and I was looking at it, being low cut and all, and she said me looking at her like that made her uncomfortable. Intimacy has gone way down in the last 2 years since our youngest was born, and I know that's normal, but her saying that I make her uncomfortable really hurt. She has said in the past when we've gotten into discussions about our marriage that she thinks marriage isn't for her and she misses her freedom, and that she only had sex with me because she wanted kids. I thought her actions contradicted that so I didn't believe her at the time, but now I think I do. I wish she wanted to connect with me like she used to, but I might need to accept that stage of our marriage is over even though we're only in our early 40s.

I'm the one who takes them to all of their sports events, things like that and I love doing it and being involved. But I wish my wife would be more involved with those. She hasn't been to a single soccer game for either kid, and doesn't seem to have any interest. She never asks how they were or anything like that. I know we all have our own things going on, and she says it's too much with everything else she has to do. I believe her, but I know the kids would love it if she was there. Most of the other parents have never seen her. They could think I'm raising them alone for all I know.

For work I own my own business, which doesn't make as much as I want, but it's enough for me to cover my part of things, and gives me freedom over my schedule to be there for the kids, take them to their events, things like that. That was a conscious choice so that I wouldn't have to miss them growing up, which is something I couldn't stand the thought of. But I'm worried that in the future I won't have enough to retire and will have to work for the rest of my life. I would still trade that for time now with the kids, but it has been stressing me out lately. I've been thinking that the best case scenario would be for me to die before I get too old to be a burden someone else needs to take care of, or live my last crappy years in a bad nursing home.

Occasionally I have the thought that I wish I could be in an accident or medical problem and have that choice made for me somehow. I know it's selfish and I still want to be here for my kids and see them grow into adults, but at the same time I'm so tired of everything and so lonely in my own marriage.

I know that's a lot, but if anyone read this, thank you for taking the time to do it. I'm open to any advice but mostly just needed to get these things out.

I think I'm pretty depressed. The best thing in my life is my kids, who I love very much and they love me, but everything feels really flat lately. I'm stuck in the same routine of taking them to school, going to work, and if I'm not working late, spending time with them before bed. I love getting to do that and I'm grateful for it, but I feel like I'm in such a rut outside of that.

I don't think my wife cares about me anymore. I don't know what she does when I'm not there, but when I am home and can take over with the kids, she's on her phone all the time with an earbud in. I'm trying really hard to be there with them and set a good example of not being on the screen all the time, but I can't get her on board with that. I don't know what she's doing on her phone, and she might need that mental break, but it takes away from time with us, and she'll never get that time back with the kids when they're this young.

The last couple of weeks my wife has barely talked to me unless she needs me to do something, but I also don't have the energy to reach out to her. She wore a tank top one morning and I was looking at it, being low cut and all, and she said me looking at her like that made her uncomfortable. Intimacy has gone way down in the last 2 years since our youngest was born, and I know that's normal, but her saying that I make her uncomfortable really hurt. She has said in the past when we've gotten into discussions about our marriage that she thinks marriage isn't for her and she misses her freedom, and that she only had sex with me because she wanted kids. I thought her actions contradicted that so I didn't believe her at the time, but now I think I do. I wish she wanted to connect with me like she used to, but I might need to accept that stage of our marriage is over even though we're only in our early 40s.

I'm the one who takes them to all of their sports events, things like that and I love doing it and being involved. But I wish my wife would be more involved with those. She hasn't been to a single soccer game for either kid, and doesn't seem to have any interest. She never asks how they were or anything like that. I know we all have our own things going on, and she says it's too much with everything else she has to do. I believe her, but I know the kids would love it if she was there. Most of the other parents have never seen her. They could think I'm raising them alone for all I know.

For work I own my own business, which doesn't make as much as I want, but it's enough for me to cover my part of things, and gives me freedom over my schedule to be there for the kids, take them to their events, things like that. That was a conscious choice so that I wouldn't have to miss them growing up, which is something I couldn't stand the thought of. But I'm worried that in the future I won't have enough to retire and will have to work for the rest of my life. I would still trade that for time now with the kids, but it has been stressing me out lately. I've been thinking that the best case scenario would be for me to die before I get too old to be a burden someone else needs to take care of, or live my last crappy years in a bad nursing home.

Occasionally I have the thought that I wish I could be in an accident or medical problem and have that choice made for me somehow. I know it's selfish and I still want to be here for my kids and see them grow into adults, but at the same time I'm so tired of everything and so lonely in my own marriage.

I know that's a lot, but if anyone read this, thank you for taking the time to do it. I'm open to any advice but mostly just needed to get these things out.

I think I'm pretty depressed. The best thing in my life is my kids, who I love very much and they love me, but everything feels really flat lately. I'm stuck in the same routine of taking them to school, going to work, and if I'm not working late, spending time with them before bed. I love getting to do that and I'm grateful for it, but I feel like I'm in such a rut outside of that.

I don't think my wife cares about me anymore. I don't know what she does when I'm not there, but when I am home and can take over with the kids, she's on her phone all the time with an earbud in. I'm trying really hard to be there with them and set a good example of not being on the screen all the time, but I can't get her on board with that. I don't know what she's doing on her phone, and she might need that mental break, but it takes away from time with us, and she'll never get that time back with the kids when they're this young.

The last couple of weeks my wife has barely talked to me unless she needs me to do something, but I also don't have the energy to reach out to her. She wore a tank top one morning and I was looking at it, being low cut and all, and she said me looking at her like that made her uncomfortable. Intimacy has gone way down in the last 2 years since our youngest was born, and I know that's normal, but her saying that I make her uncomfortable really hurt. She has said in the past when we've gotten into discussions about our marriage that she thinks marriage isn't for her and she misses her freedom, and that she only had sex with me because she wanted kids. I thought her actions contradicted that so I didn't believe her at the time, but now I think I do. I wish she wanted to connect with me like she used to, but I might need to accept that stage of our marriage is over even though we're only in our early 40s.

I'm the one who takes them to all of their sports events, things like that and I love doing it and being involved. But I wish my wife would be more involved with those. She hasn't been to a single soccer game for either kid, and doesn't seem to have any interest. She never asks how they were or anything like that. I know we all have our own things going on, and she says it's too much with everything else she has to do. I believe her, but I know the kids would love it if she was there. Most of the other parents have never seen her. They could think I'm raising them alone for all I know.

For work I own my own business, which doesn't make as much as I want, but it's enough for me to cover my part of things, and gives me freedom over my schedule to be there for the kids, take them to their events, things like that. That was a conscious choice so that I wouldn't have to miss them growing up, which is something I couldn't stand the thought of. But I'm worried that in the future I won't have enough to retire and will have to work for the rest of my life. I would still trade that for time now with the kids, but it has been stressing me out lately. I've been thinking that the best case scenario would be for me to die before I get too old to be a burden someone else needs to take care of, or live my last crappy years in a bad nursing home.

Occasionally I have the thought that I wish I could be in an accident or medical problem and have that choice made for me somehow. I know it's selfish and I still want to be here for my kids and see them grow into adults, but at the same time I'm so tired of everything and so lonely in my own marriage.

I know that's a lot, but if anyone read this, thank you for taking the time to do it. I'm open to any advice but mostly just needed to get these things out.