u/Berserk-Jane

Let me be the first to say that I like to consider myself an open minded person so please don't flame me in the comments. I was talked out of getting a pygmy rattlesnake, so if getting a copperhead as a first snake is really THAT bad of an idea, I'll probably see the light.

First off, I am not a wealth of knowledge on snakes, but from what I understand, the odds of a copperhead killing or grievously wounding me; a 252 lb adult human are exceptionally low. From what I understand, a copperhead bite is essentially worse than a wasp sting but less severe than most vipers. Like I said, correct me if I'm wrong because I could be. Having one of these as a pet sounds like it would be worth having to avoid a horribly painful bite in theory.

Second of all, they just look so cool; and when they're babies, they're so cute. It would be so neat to handle and make friends with one of these creatures like people on here make friends with their pythons and monitors. I am of the belief that snakes do feel affection; and you are free to disagree with me all that you want, but I believe that science has yet to learn a lot about the brains of these creatures.

Finally, it seems like a really easy snake to feed. I don't have a problem with feeding a snake per se, but there are certain stipulations. I don't want frozen mice in my freezer. It freaks me out and I don't morally like how the mice are killed. I also don't want to live feed a snake in the event that the snake could get hurt. That being said, none of this seems to really apply to copperheads. These guys are way too overpowered in comparison to mice that I assume that live feeding wouldn't hurt them.

What say you guys? Good idea for a first snake, or am I a dumbass for even entertaining this as a possibility? GO!

It's literally glorified cake batter with creatine and protein in it. I drink it before I go to bed, and it fills me up into the next day so I don't have to waste my time eating breakfast like a goddamn square. And the greatest part about it all is? I don't even need to worry about getting fat because my metabolism takes care of it for me.

I do intermittent fasting; and ever since i've been taking this mass gainer after work before bed, I'm able to stay not hungry longer throughout the next day which allows me to go my entire work shift without having to eat. I was feeling hungry at work a few hours ago right before I got off my shift because I didn't take my mass gainer the night before (I'm almost out so I'm trying to ration it), and I'm like, "fuck. You mean I have to eat FOOD now? Goddamn it." It hit me right then and there that I like this shit better than food. I went and I bought a slim Jim and some chips.

Shakes is just so much quicker and more convenient than food. I think I like this shit more than pizza and steak. I would personally rather have my mass gainer shake, my protein shake, and maybe a snack or two than eat like a normal person. Whole foods can suck my dick. My poops feel great.

I mean, why the hell shouldn't I? They're eating the gators, they're eating the whitetails; they're eating the entire ecosystem. They're weirdly docile towards humans, and the baby ones are so adorable. Are there laws that prevent me from doing this? It's basically rescuing a dog; I mean you've got all these python hunters on YouTube that want them out of the ecosystem by any means necessary. I think it would be neat to go to Florida and save a cute little baby python from getting yoinked and euthanized. And no, I'm not going to flush him down the toilet like a sewer gator when he gets big. He's still going to be cute when he's big.

I was prescribed Vraylar about two years ago, and ever since the medication started working, I almost NEVER have a dream that isn't Dream 1 or Dream 2. I will go into what those are in a sentence or two, but the fact is, over the past two years, I've only had five or six different dreams that I can remember. About 75 percent of the time, it's Dream 1, and the remainder of the time, it's Dream 2.

Dream 1 is basically this. For whatever reason, I'm back in High School. Sometimes I'm a 17 year old kid again, but usually I'm my 31-year-old self. I'm usually trying to find a way to get Velo pouches or a cannabis disposable, but sometimes it's 2012 again and they haven't been invented yet. I frequently find myself frustrated at not being able to use things that have yet to have been invented in this reoccurring dream. Other times, I have Velo pouches in the dream and it's 2026. It's really awkward being in my thirties around all these kids. Sometimes the school looks the way it did when I went thirteen years ago. Other times, it looks more like a combination of a prison and a Spyro castle. About half the time, it looks like a 19th century style prison. I'm usually failing classes in this dream, and I usually take the bus. The bus usually takes me in the opposite direction of where I live and to the wrong house, but sometimes I have the ability to teleport. Overall, not a horrible nightmare, but a pretty uncomfortable dream.

Dream 2 is basically this. I live in a massive apartment that is on lockdown because of an active shooter or shooters. More often than not, it's a really big, multi-storey low-income affair, but other times, it's got a haunted vibe to it like Luigi's Mansion. Sometimes it's an incredibly lavish UAE style building that rises 100 storeys. There's always some guy with a gun, and sometimes there are multiple gunmen. I woke up one night in a panic the one night they found me. Definitely the more uncomfortable of the two dreams; except for the one time they actually caught the shooter and I went to Dairy Queen after the building went off lockdown.

Does anyone else dream like this where they're usually having the same dreams over and over again? Could this mean something?

Three is the loneliest number that is on the clock. Four can be as bad as three, you know if we're both up, we both got you and me. Five is a lonely time to get up from off your bed. Who the hell is up at five? Just hang me up from my head, dont want to be alive. Least when the clock strikes two, they'll probably be a few of guys like me and you who've got some things to do all while we break curfew. When I get up at noon, I ain't off. When I get up too soon, rip my taint off. When I don't got a taint, sitting is something that I ain't, cause I did a blinker halfway through this so I could get real stoned and do this.

You're reaching climax, and you're feeling euphoric, like the kickass main riff Eric Clapton opens up with as his cigarette is burning sandwiched in between the spokes of his strings at the top of his guitar. It gets even better as your eyes start rolling back in your head as Duane Allman starts fuckin' waiting on the slide guitar, delivering one of the most bone chilling licks any of us have ever heard and then you realize what you've just done, and boom. Instant sad piano coda. Why couldn't I have just whacked it to something else? What am I doing here? The last three minutes and forty five seconds of that song are exactly what the fuck that feels like. Tell me I'm wrong.

Gotta leave.

Gotta go

And see a man about a horse

Name is Steve

Don't you know,

See him bout the horse of course, then

Walk the forest, do a kegel

See the serpent, ride the eagle

Cross the frozen desert barren flies a supersonic seagull

Cross the roads the desert sun will rise, the supersonic seagull

Shares the airways with the kestrels and the aforementioned eagle

As the seagull fought the eagle in a sky display so regal

Airborne melee was enthralling

Eagle's reinforcement calling

To the blonde fair maiden wizard by the name of Sarah Stellar

Has a thousand mana potions that are locked up in her cellar

And she'll teach you cleric spells that's if a pint of gold you sell her

And she'll give you half the price if you're a fancy Mason feller

With a top hat and a cane and

An umbrella for the rain and

Find the precious stone encrusted brooch that's hidden in the valley

Cross the moat surrounding Sarah's wizard mansion in the valley

Past the First Adventist Church that's there to fight sin in the valley

In the war on either side to see which one will win the valley

Tween the eagle and the seagull

In the sky display so regal,

All the people of the town will greet and say "Hello how are ya"

All the people of the town will flee away from near and far a

Nother townsmen he will frown as Eagle crashes to the ground

And as the Seagull's smirking slyly at the Eagle that he downed

Because you know I want that horse,

You know I want that horse of course,

And if he doesn't have the horse by noon, I'll take the horse by force

You know I don't care if it kills me,

If a thousand grand he bills me,

If he loots me and my wife

Or if he kills me with a knife

Or if he takes my head and slams it

Let me have that horse, God damn it.

I rescued both a puppy and a juvenile garter snake from the road and both of them attacked me. The puppy was a Great Dane that we were fostering, and it felt like a goddamn hornet sting; initially not very painful somehow, but bled and itched like a motherfucker. The garter snake; however, bit me and couldn't break the skin. It tickled.

I totally understand why someone who can't tell the highly venomous snakes from the harmless ones would be afraid of snakes in general, which is why I believe that everyone should do their part to learn to identify the snakes that live in their local ecosystem to save themselves unnecessary fear in the event of a harmless noodle encounter. You might find yourself in a situation like me where you need to know what kind of snake you're dealing with and whether or not you should approach the snake or run like hell.

Despite the fact that many snakes can kill you, the animal that I interacted with was a little baby noodle, and its first line of defense is to tickle me. Come on, people. You can't tell me that's not the cutest thing ever. Puppy bites hurt. Kitten scratches hurt. Hamster bites hurt worse than both of those things combined somehow; but baby snake bites are the most underwhelming force you will ever be faced head on with, and it makes them precious. I am not saying that cats and dogs are less cute. I am just saying that snakes ought to be held in the same regard as cats, dogs and other cute animals. They serve an important role in our ecosystem, and people kill them for no reason. A human being attacked by a non venomous Garter snake is the real life equivalent of Pikachu trying to use Thunderbolt on a Ground type Pokemon. Nobody has ever died, and unless it's a larger than average Garter, it won't even hurt. You are a massive iron titan to these harmless creatures who can wish you all the ill will in the world but will never harm you in any capacity, though most of them won't.

And as an addendum, I refuse to believe that snakes don't feel love, and I think that they are adorable in part due to me believing that they can. I've seen videos of small children interacting with their pet Burmese and Reticulated pythons, and these children are the perfect size for a snack for these animals; yet they slither on and let these children caress them and interact with them almost like loyal dogs that would never have a passing thought of harming their owner. I don't think people understand how powerful these large snakes are and how they can essentially choose whether or not they want their prey to die by blood loss or asphyxiation; be it an alligator, a pig, or a grown man. That's what makes the big snakes cute. You are exponentially more likely to get killed by a large dog like a Mastiff or Cane Corso than you are a reticulated python despite the both underrated and overwhelming power of the snake. They are so non-violent as a general rule. Most of the time in the wild, they just let you pick them up despite the fact that they can make you look like you got attacked by a hacksaw and easily strangle the life out of you. I got to hold one at a fair as a child, and he had so much respect for me and the fact that I was below him on the food chain. I love snakes.