u/AppropriateAd7612

hello! i’ve kinda have an update for my last post after sometime, and i also need some help again. (i will link the first post at the end of the thread, so i don’t have resume anything). Some time after the update, we hung out and opened the subject if us, and told me that he s actually not ready for a relationship yet. He assured me again that he like me very much tho, so i ve asked him if he will be ready for one in the future and he said yes. Atfer all this, i’ve kept my distance and acted like a normal friend. He kept doing very small things, that made me think “oh yea he must like me”. I though that make he does things like that, i should try again and make a step forward, so i sometimes put my head on his shoulders or hugged him, and he also slept over one more time were we cuddled. One of my common friends talked to him ab the situation and made him realize some things, so the next day we met and talked ab the situation once again. He told me that he was a jerk and didn’t realize how serious was all that was happening, and he didn’t want to lead me on. I’ve told him that the only thing i wanted was for him to be honest with me, like i’ve told him on the new years, that if he didn’t like me back, it would have been okay, i just wanted ro know. He told me that it wasn’t ab that, that he like me, he just not ready and he s got a lot of shit going on, he doesn’t know how to manage this emotions rn and he s emotionally unavailable atp. Moving on from this, i’ve really didn’t try more. We’ve continued being friends. But he still does a lot of “small gestures”. For an example, when go home from a hangout with more ppl, we stay a lil bit longer when we arrive on my street and talk some more. Last night we had a very “movie like moment” when we sung together a song and drove late at night, and when i left he hugged me for a long time. I am unfortunately still so attached to him, and i like him very much and can’t seem to move on. I can’t cut contact with him bc i am just not that type of person, and i know that it would hurt me much more, bc i care so much for him even as a friend. How do i move on when it seems like i’ve lost the opportunity to have the person of my dreams? He really is an amazing person besides all that has happened, i’ve got nothing bad to say about him, but at the same time, it feels like a hurt more and more everyday.

i’ve posted this in multiple communities, i’ll just link the original posts from one of them:
1st update: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/TkHJDTcldp
original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships_advice/s/jMTdufE51B

hello! i’ve kinda have an update for my last post after sometime, and i also need some help again. (i will link the first post at the end of the thread, so i don’t have resume anything). Some time after the update, we hung out and opened the subject if us, and told me that he s actually not ready for a relationship yet. He assured me again that he like me very much tho, so i ve asked him if he will be ready for one in the future and he said yes. Atfer all this, i’ve kept my distance and acted like a normal friend. He kept doing very small things, that made me think “oh yea he must like me”. I though that make he does things like that, i should try again and make a step forward, so i sometimes put my head on his shoulders or hugged him, and he also slept over one more time were we cuddled. One of my common friends talked to him ab the situation and made him realize some things, so the next day we met and talked ab the situation once again. He told me that he was a jerk and didn’t realize how serious was all that was happening, and he didn’t want to lead me on. I’ve told him that the only thing i wanted was for him to be honest with me, like i’ve told him on the new years, that if he didn’t like me back, it would have been okay, i just wanted ro know. He told me that it wasn’t ab that, that he like me, he just not ready and he s got a lot of shit going on, he doesn’t know how to manage this emotions rn and he s emotionally unavailable atp. Moving on from this, i’ve really didn’t try more. We’ve continued being friends. But he still does a lot of “small gestures”. For an example, when go home from a hangout with more ppl, we stay a lil bit longer when we arrive on my street and talk some more. Last night we had a very “movie like moment” when we sung together a song and drove late at night, and when i left he hugged me for a long time. I am unfortunately still so attached to him, and i like him very much and can’t seem to move on. I can’t cut contact with him bc i am just not that type of person, and i know that it would hurt me much more, bc i care so much for him even as a friend. How do i move on when it seems like i’ve lost the opportunity to have the person of my dreams? He really is an amazing person besides all that has happened, i’ve got nothing bad to say about him, but at the same time, it feels like a hurt more and more everyday.

i’ve posted this in multiple communities, i’ll just link the original posts from one of them:
1st update: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/TkHJDTcldp
original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships_advice/s/jMTdufE51B

hello! i’ve kinda have an update for my last post after sometime, and i also need some help again. (i will link the first post at the end of the thread, so i don’t have resume anything). Some time after the update, we hung out and opened the subject if us, and told me that he s actually not ready for a relationship yet. He assured me again that he like me very much tho, so i ve asked him if he will be ready for one in the future and he said yes. Atfer all this, i’ve kept my distance and acted like a normal friend. He kept doing very small things, that made me think “oh yea he must like me”. I though that make he does things like that, i should try again and make a step forward, so i sometimes put my head on his shoulders or hugged him, and he also slept over one more time were we cuddled. One of my common friends talked to him ab the situation and made him realize some things, so the next day we met and talked ab the situation once again. He told me that he was a jerk and didn’t realize how serious was all that was happening, and he didn’t want to lead me on. I’ve told him that the only thing i wanted was for him to be honest with me, like i’ve told him on the new years, that if he didn’t like me back, it would have been okay, i just wanted ro know. He told me that it wasn’t ab that, that he like me, he just not ready and he s got a lot of shit going on, he doesn’t know how to manage this emotions rn and he s emotionally unavailable atp. Moving on from this, i’ve really didn’t try more. We’ve continued being friends. But he still does a lot of “small gestures”. For an example, when go home from a hangout with more ppl, we stay a lil bit longer when we arrive on my street and talk some more. Last night we had a very “movie like moment” when we sung together a song and drove late at night, and when i left he hugged me for a long time. I am unfortunately still so attached to him, and i like him very much and can’t seem to move on. I can’t cut contact with him bc i am just not that type of person, and i know that it would hurt me much more, bc i care so much for him even as a friend. How do i move on when it seems like i’ve lost the opportunity to have the person of my dreams? He really is an amazing person besides all that has happened, i’ve got nothing bad to say about him, but at the same time, it feels like a hurt more and more everyday.

i’ve posted this in multiple communities, i’ll just link the original posts from one of them:
1st update: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/TkHJDTcldp
original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships_advice/s/jMTdufE51B

Hello! me (f20) i am in a interesting situation with an avoidant (m24). As short as possible, we ve been in a “sitationship” (idk even to call it that) for a few months now. He s a friend from my friend group, whom i ve grown to like gradually, asked him out, then he has made a stept forward to the “romantic stuff”. After some time i ve told him straight up that i liked him. He didn t give me a straight answer, but everytime we’ve talked ab this subject, he reasured me that he liked me back. A few hangouts later, he opened the subject and told me that he s not ready for a relationship rn, but told me he will be in the future after i’ve asked him. We remained friends, i’ve kept my distance in the romantic way, but he is always doing small things that make me question stuff. I will not pressure him with a “talk” again, but at the same time, i can’t seem to move on everything i do. He s truly an amazing and good person besides all the “situations”. Atp we started all this, it has been a year since he broke up with his last girlfriend, a horrible person (from what’ve heard), a really toxic relationship. I am not the type of person to cut someone from my life, and i know i will suffer more if i do. I want to understand his point of view more, because from my standpoint in this moment i really cannot. Can someone help my with a perspective in anyway? Idk what to do anymore bc i like him so much but day by day it seems just to hurt more.