u/Any_Divide_4553

AITAH I feel so stressed

Tl;DR

So I (26f) have tried to explain these last few months to my boyfriend of 7months (29m) that I am not comfortable with his brothers girlfriend (22f and 24m).

She’s constantly inappropriate and Christmas break (the first time I met her) she was all over him touching him and grabbing onto him and literally practically ignoring his brother (her boyfriend) to talk to my boyfriend.

I tried being friendly with her so I asked her if she wanted to just hang out just us girls. And the whole time I was trying to be pleasant until she’s literally saying being like “oh he’s like my best friend and the last girl didn’t deserve him and I’m not even as pretty as the girl before me” (I had bad teeth because I couldn’t afford surgery, finally did it though and my boyfriend literally paid for it)

Then even after I was like “yes he is attractive that’s one of the things I like about him” she was like “but he is more handsome than (insert her bf here)” I shrugged it off as her making jokes until she said that she was going to steal my boyfriend and they belonged together. She literally laughed like it was a joke and asked “oh you don’t trust him?” And gave this wry smile. Right after her boyfriend walks in and her entire face and attitude changes and she tells him we’re “having girl talk” I was too shocked and just went outside for a walk.

The next day she somehow begged and managed to drag my boyfriend to meet HER PARENTS. And she completely ignored her boyfriend the whole time trying to show mine around and introducing him to her parents like he was her bf not his brother” and my boyfriend tried to play it off like “we’re all just really close like family”

We ended up having to take them to the airport and she asks me “is it okay if we talk about his you know who” (they were together eight years and split amicably)and then proceeded to admit she’s legit stalking this poor girl who’s married and happy with a kid and talking shit about her for no reason. My bf was uncomfortable but didn’t even try to stop her

Then without asking she takes his phone and starts playing Russian love songs about not being with the right person (not understanding I was a volunteer overseas in Russia for two damn years)

When we finally dropped them off I FISTBUMP HIS BROTHER because that felt appropriate but she literally jumped into my boyfriend’s arms and wrapped herself around him and then fucking smirked at me! I’m not joking. And I let it go for a while because I trust him I do

But after a month of holding it in I told him I’m uncomfortable and told him why she did all those things and he just wants to tell his brother and basically only say it’s because I’m uncomfortable.

And then sometimes she’ll call him DRUNK FROM HIS BROTHERS PHONE because she “misses him” and wants to play games… I’m literally shaking as I post this.

Tl;Dr ANY ADVICE IS APPRECIATED please help 🙏 ALSO SHES NOT HIS BROTHERS WIFE THEY JUST CALL HER THAT SHES ONLY HIS GIRLFRIEND

So I (26f) have tried to explain these last few months to my boyfriend of 7months (29m) that I am not comfortable with his brothers girlfriend (22f and 24m).

She’s constantly inappropriate and Christmas break (the first time I met her) she was all over him touching him and grabbing onto him and literally practically ignoring his brother (her boyfriend) to talk to my boyfriend.

I tried being friendly with her so I asked her if she wanted to just hang out just us girls. And the whole time I was trying to be pleasant until she’s literally saying being like “oh he’s like my best friend and the last girl didn’t deserve him and I’m not even as pretty as the girl before me” (I had bad teeth because I couldn’t afford surgery, finally did it though and my boyfriend literally paid for it)

Then even after I was like “yes he is attractive that’s one of the things I like about him” she was like “but he is more handsome than (insert her bf here)” I shrugged it off as her making jokes until she said that she was going to steal my boyfriend and they belonged together. She literally laughed like it was a joke and asked “oh you don’t trust him?” And gave this wry smile. Right after her boyfriend walks in and her entire face and attitude changes and she tells him we’re “having girl talk” I was too shocked and just went outside for a walk.

The next day she somehow begged and managed to drag my boyfriend to meet HER PARENTS. And she completely ignored her boyfriend the whole time trying to show mine around and introducing him to her parents like he was her bf not his brother” and my boyfriend tried to play it off like “we’re all just really close like family”

We ended up having to take them to the airport and she asks me “is it okay if we talk about his you know who” (they were together eight years and split amicably)and then proceeded to admit she’s legit stalking this poor girl who’s married and happy with a kid and talking shit about her for no reason. My bf was uncomfortable but didn’t even try to stop her

Then without asking she takes his phone and starts playing Russian love songs about not being with the right person (not understanding I was a volunteer overseas in Russia for two damn years)

When we finally dropped them off I FISTBUMP HIS BROTHER because that felt appropriate but she literally jumped into my boyfriend’s arms and wrapped herself around him and then fucking smirked at me! I’m not joking. And I let it go for a while because I trust him I do

But after a month of holding it in I told him I’m uncomfortable and told him why she did all those things and he just wants to tell his brother and basically only say it’s because I’m uncomfortable.

And then sometimes she’ll call him DRUNK FROM HIS BROTHERS PHONE because she “misses him” and wants to play games… I’m literally shaking as I post this.

Im so lost and I love him so much but I feel sick and im literally shaking as I post this but any advice on how to communicate this boundary

How can I just get him to see that I’m not crazy. maybe I am and please tell me if that’s the case 🙏 But all I want is to know how I can talk to this about him in a way where he takes me seriously. And I will say he is an oblivious person with a golden retriever personality so I don’t think he’s doing anything untoward and it’s only her I have a problem with

Tl;Dr ANY ADVICE IS APPRECIATED please help 🙏 also she is his brothers gf they just say sis in law

So I (26f) have tried to explain these last few months to my boyfriend of 7months (29m) that I am not comfortable with his brothers girlfriend (22f and 24m).

She’s constantly inappropriate and Christmas break (the first time I met her) she was all over him touching him and grabbing onto him and literally practically ignoring his brother (her boyfriend) to talk to my boyfriend.

I tried being friendly with her so I asked her to talk and I was trying to be pleasant until she’s was literally saying being like “oh he’s like my best friend and the last girl didn’t deserve him and I’m not even as pretty as the girl before me” (I had bad teeth because I couldn’t afford surgery, finally did it though and my boyfriend literally paid for it)

Then even after I was like “yes he is attractive that’s one of the things I like about him” she was like “but he is more handsome than (insert her bf here)” and I didn’t even know how to respond to that and when her boyfriend walked in right after SHE ACTED LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED.

The next day she somehow begged and managed to drag my boyfriend to meet HER PARENTS. And she completely ignored her boyfriend the whole time trying to show mine around and introducing him to her parents like he was her bf not his brother” and my boyfriend tried to play it off like “we’re all just really close like family”

We ended up having to take them to the airport and she asks me “is it okay if we talk about his you know who” (they were together eight years and split amicably)and then proceeded to admit she’s legit stalking this poor girl who’s married and happy with a kid and talking shit about her for no reason. My bf was uncomfortable but didn’t even try to stop her

Then without asking she takes his phone and starts playing Russian love songs about not being with the right person (not understanding I was a volunteer overseas in Russia for two damn years)

When we finally dropped them off I FISTBUMP HIS BROTHER because that felt appropriate but she literally jumped into my boyfriend’s arms and wrapped herself around him and then fucking smirked at me! I’m not joking. And I let it go for a while because I trust him I do

But after a month of holding it in I told him I’m uncomfortable and told him why she did all those things and he said he’d tried but he’s made no real change to distance himself from her and instead only plays game with her and his brother with when I’m at work or asleep.

And then sometimes she’ll call him DRUNK FROM HIS BROTHERS PHONE because she “misses him” and wants to play games… I’m literally shaking as I post this.

When I told him I’m uncomfortable he said he just wants to tell his brother but before that HES MADE NO CHANGE except for what I’ve listed above.

Im so lost and I love him so much but I feel sick and im literally shaking as I post this but any advice on how to better communicate this boundary

How can I just get him to see that I’m not crazy. maybe I am and please tell me if that’s the case 🙏 But all I want is to know how I can talk to this about him in a way where he takes me seriously. And I will say he is an oblivious person with a golden retriever personality so I don’t think he’s doing anything untoward and it’s only her I have a problem with

Tl;Dr ANY ADVICE IS APPRECIATED please help 🙏

So I (26f) have tried to explain these last few months to my boyfriend of 7months (29m) that I am not comfortable with his brothers girlfriend (22f and 24m).

She’s constantly inappropriate and Christmas break (the first time I met her) she was all over him touching him and grabbing onto him and literally practically ignoring his brother (her boyfriend) to talk to my boyfriend.

I tried being friendly with her so I asked her to talk and I was trying to be pleasant until she’s was literally saying being like “oh he’s like my best friend and the last girl didn’t deserve him and I’m not even as pretty as the girl before me” (I had bad teeth because I couldn’t afford surgery, finally did it though and my boyfriend literally paid for it)

Then even after I was like “yes he is attractive that’s one of the things I like about him” she was like “but he is more handsome than (insert her bf here)” and I didn’t even know how to respond to that and when her boyfriend walked in right after SHE ACTED LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED.

The next day she somehow begged and managed to drag my boyfriend to meet HER PARENTS. And she completely ignored her boyfriend the whole time trying to show mine around and introducing him to her parents like he was her bf not his brother” and my boyfriend tried to play it off like “we’re all just really close like family”

We ended up having to take them to the airport and she asks me “is it okay if we talk about his you know who” (they were together eight years and split amicably)and then proceeded to admit she’s legit stalking this poor girl who’s married and happy with a kid and talking shit about her for no reason. My bf was uncomfortable but didn’t even try to stop her

Then without asking she takes his phone and starts playing Russian love songs about not being with the right person (not understanding I was a volunteer overseas in Russia for two damn years)

When we finally dropped them off I FISTBUMP HIS BROTHER because that felt appropriate but she literally jumped into my boyfriend’s arms and wrapped herself around him and then fucking smirked at me! I’m not joking. And I let it go for a while because I trust him I do

But after a month of holding it in I told him I’m uncomfortable and told him why she did all those things and he said he’d tried but he’s made no real change to distance himself from her and instead only plays game with her and his brother with when I’m at work or asleep.

And then sometimes she’ll call him DRUNK FROM HIS BROTHERS PHONE because she “misses him” and wants to play games… I’m literally shaking as I post this.

When I told him I’m uncomfortable he said he just wants to tell his brother but before that HES MADE NO CHANGE except for what I’ve listed above.

Im so lost and I love him so much but I feel sick and im literally shaking as I post this but any advice on how to better communicate this boundary

How can I just get him to see that I’m not crazy. maybe I am and please tell me if that’s the case 🙏 But all I want is to know how I can talk to this about him in a way where he takes me seriously.