u/AdventurousWay1583

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. We basically live like a married couple already. He owns the house we live in and he got me the car I drive because I got pregnant before and sadly miscarried. He also makes about triple what I make. I still work and pay for my own personal things like clothes, nails, food, etc. I’ve never been the type to constantly ask him for money.

Today we were in the car and I asked him if we were getting engaged this year. He responded with, “I’ll see if I can make it happen.” That already bothered me a little, but I let it go.

Then I mentioned what kind of car I’d want next once my lease is up. He works as a manager at a dealership, so getting another car wouldn’t exactly be difficult for him it would be discounted for him and the car company will give monthly check for him to pay for the car half . He immediately said, “I’m not getting you a car. You’ll have to get your own car when the lease is up.”

Honestly, that felt like a slap in the face. Not because I think I’m entitled to a car, but because for 4 years I’ve been doing all the “wife” things and building a life together with him. From the beginning of the relationship, I made it very clear that I wanted a provider-type husband and eventually wanted to be a stay-at-home wife/mom. He knew exactly what I wanted and agreed with that lifestyle.

So hearing him suddenly say that made me feel like I’m basically playing house without any real

I (29M) have been with my now fiancée (24F) for about 4 years. Me (29M) and my fiancée (24F) have lived together for the past 2 years and built a life together—we even have two dogs.

After I (29M) proposed recently, my fiancée (24F) sat me (29M) down and admitted she (24F) hasn’t been honest with me (29M) about some big things.

First, my fiancée (24F) told me (29M) she (24F) was my age (29) when we met, but she (24F) is actually 24. Second, my fiancée (24F) told me (29M) she (24F) doesn’t currently have legal status. She (24F) said she (24F) came to the U.S. on a visa as a child but overstayed.

My fiancée (24F)’s explanation was that she (24F) was scared to tell me (29M) the truth early on because she (24F) thought if we (29M and 24F) ever broke up, I (29M) might report her (24F) to immigration. She (24F) also said that once she (24F) lied about her age, she (24F) didn’t know how to fix it.

Now that we (29M and 24F) are engaged, my fiancée (24F) says she (24F) wants to be fully honest, and she (24F) also mentioned that marrying me (29M) could help her (24F) get legal status and that her (24F) case might be relatively straightforward.

I (29M) care about my fiancée (24F) a lot and we (29M and 24F) have built a real life together, but I (29M) am struggling with the fact that she (24F) hid something this big for years and only told me (29M) after I (29M) proposed.

I (29M) don’t know if this is something I (29M) should try to work through or if it’s a major red flag I (29M) shouldn’t ignore.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I (29M) have been with my now fiancée (24F) for about 4 years. Me (29M) and my fiancée (24F) have lived together for the past 2 years and built a life together—we even have two dogs.

After I (29M) proposed recently, my fiancée (24F) sat me (29M) down and admitted she (24F) hasn’t been honest with me (29M) about some big things.

First, my fiancée (24F) told me (29M) she (24F) was my age (29) when we met, but she (24F) is actually 24. Second, my fiancée (24F) told me (29M) she (24F) doesn’t currently have legal status. She (24F) said she (24F) came to the U.S. on a visa as a child but overstayed.

My fiancée (24F)’s explanation was that she (24F) was scared to tell me (29M) the truth early on because she (24F) thought if we (29M and 24F) ever broke up, I (29M) might report her (24F) to immigration. She (24F) also said that once she (24F) lied about her age, she (24F) didn’t know how to fix it.

Now that we (29M and 24F) are engaged, my fiancée (24F) says she (24F) wants to be fully honest, and she (24F) also mentioned that marrying me (29M) could help her (24F) get legal status and that her (24F) case might be relatively straightforward.

I (29M) care about my fiancée (24F) a lot and we (29M and 24F) have built a real life together, but I (29M) am struggling with the fact that she (24F) hid something this big for years and only told me (29M) after I (29M) proposed.

I (29M) don’t know if this is something I (29M) should try to work through or if it’s a major red flag I (29M) shouldn’t ignore.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I (29M) have been with my now fiancée (24F) for about 4 years. Me (29M) and my fiancée (24F) have lived together for the past 2 years and built a life together—we even have two dogs.

After I (29M) proposed recently, my fiancée (24F) sat me (29M) down and admitted she (24F) hasn’t been honest with me (29M) about some big things.

First, my fiancée (24F) told me (29M) she (24F) was my age (29) when we met, but she (24F) is actually 24. Second, my fiancée (24F) told me (29M) she (24F) doesn’t currently have legal status. She (24F) said she (24F) came to the U.S. on a visa as a child but overstayed.

My fiancée (24F)’s explanation was that she (24F) was scared to tell me (29M) the truth early on because she (24F) thought if we (29M and 24F) ever broke up, I (29M) might report her (24F) to immigration. She (24F) also said that once she (24F) lied about her age, she (24F) didn’t know how to fix it.

Now that we (29M and 24F) are engaged, my fiancée (24F) says she (24F) wants to be fully honest, and she (24F) also mentioned that marrying me (29M) could help her (24F) get legal status and that her (24F) case might be relatively straightforward.

I (29M) care about my fiancée (24F) a lot and we (29M and 24F) have built a real life together, but I (29M) am struggling with the fact that she (24F) hid something this big for years and only told me (29M) after I (29M) proposed.

I (29M) don’t know if this is something I (29M) should try to work through or if it’s a major red flag I (29M) shouldn’t ignore.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I (29M) have been with my now fiancée (24F) for about 4 years. Me (29M) and my fiancée (24F) have lived together for the past 2 years and built a life together—we even have two dogs.

After I (29M) proposed recently, my fiancée (24F) sat me (29M) down and admitted she (24F) hasn’t been honest with me (29M) about some big things.

First, my fiancée (24F) told me (29M) she (24F) was my age (29) when we met, but she (24F) is actually 24. Second, my fiancée (24F) told me (29M) she (24F) doesn’t currently have legal status. She (24F) said she (24F) came to the U.S. on a visa as a child but overstayed.

My fiancée (24F)’s explanation was that she (24F) was scared to tell me (29M) the truth early on because she (24F) thought if we (29M and 24F) ever broke up, I (29M) might report her (24F) to immigration. She (24F) also said that once she (24F) lied about her age, she (24F) didn’t know how to fix it.

Now that we (29M and 24F) are engaged, my fiancée (24F) says she (24F) wants to be fully honest, and she (24F) also mentioned that marrying me (29M) could help her (24F) get legal status and that her (24F) case might be relatively straightforward.

I (29M) care about my fiancée (24F) a lot and we (29M and 24F) have built a real life together, but I (29M) am struggling with the fact that she (24F) hid something this big for years and only told me (29M) after I (29M) proposed.

I (29M) don’t know if this is something I (29M) should try to work through or if it’s a major red flag I (29M) shouldn’t

I twenty-nine have been with my now fiancée twenty-four for about 4 years. We’ve lived together for the past 2 years and built a life together—we even have two dogs.

After I proposed recently, she sat me down and admitted she hasn’t been honest with me about some big things.

First, she told me she was my age when we met 4 years ago, but she’s actually twenty-four Second, she told me she doesn’t currently have legal status. She said she came to the U.S. on a visa as a child but overstayed.

Her explanation was that she was scared to tell me the truth early on because she thought if we ever broke up, I might report her to immigration. She also said that once she lied about her age, she didn’t know how to fix it.

Now that we’re engaged, she says she wants to be fully honest, and she also mentioned that marrying me could help her get legal status and that her case might be relatively straightforward.

I care about her a lot and we’ve built a real life together, but I’m struggling with the fact that she hid something this big for years and only told me after I proposed.

I don’t know if this is something I should try to work through or if it’s a major red flag I shouldn’t ignore.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Edit : I make about $200k a year and own my home. I’ve been financially supporting my fiancée even before she became my fiancée. I cover her car, insurance, phone, and most other expenses. She works occasional small jobs, but nothing consistent.

That said, she’s been great in a lot of ways—she takes care of the home, cooks, cleans, looks after our dogs, and always makes sure I’m okay. She’s loving, attentive, and supportive.

So financially, marriage wouldn’t really change much for me since we already live like a married couple. But the lies about her age and legal status are really weighing on me, and that’s what I can’t get past right now