u/Acrobatic-Tea-5912

this may be a little bit of an emotional dump, forewarning.

i (20F) have been smoking weed since my sophomore year of high school. mostly with my boyfriend at the time. our relationship was extremely toxic, and sometimes violent, but i was young and in love. i didn't know any better. it caused me a lot of trauma simply being in the relationship. then my senior year (2023) he took his own life after a phone call with me. we were together the entire time i was in high school. i've been smoking heavily, daily, every single day since. it's how i got through it. it made me feel close to him and made the pain just bearable enough to not do the same.

i am now trying to quit in hopes of applying for my EMT certification. i have realized how much i truly depend on it. i would spend my last on weed and if i didn't have the money i WOULD find a way. i feel so tired all the time but i cannot sleep. i've been up until 8am the past two nights. i sweat at night and feel hot and cold at the same time? i am so hungry but i cannot eat. i've been force feeding myself soup. i feel so sad and irritable, constantly. so sad. and little things like my computer not loading fast enough have SERIOSULY pissed me off. i've noticed i've been arguing unnecessarily with my new SO. he knows im quitting, he knows how heavy of a smoker i was, he knows about my late boyfriend, he doesn't know it's all connected and im nervous to explain/don't even know if i should.

is this going to get better??? when is this going to get better?? is there anything i can do during this process to help keep myself sane?? i feel as if im losing my mind. im trying so hard not to just say fuck it. thank you in advance to anyone who reads or responds

this may be a little bit of an emotional dump, forewarning.

i (20F) have been smoking weed since my sophomore year of high school. mostly with my boyfriend at the time. our relationship was extremely toxic, and sometimes violent, but i was young and in love. i didn't know any better. it caused me a lot of trauma simply being in the relationship. then my senior year (2023) he took his own life after a phone call with me. we were together the entire time i was in high school. i've been smoking heavily, daily, every single day since. it's how i got through it. it made me feel close to him and made the pain just bearable enough to not do the same.

i am now trying to quit in hopes of applying for my EMT certification. i have realized how much i truly depend on it. i would spend my last on weed and if i didn't have the money i WOULD find a way. i feel so tired all the time but i cannot sleep. i've been up until 8am the past two nights. i sweat at night and feel hot and cold at the same time? i am so hungry but i cannot eat. i've been force feeding myself soup. i feel so sad and irritable, constantly. so sad. and little things like my computer not loading fast enough have SERIOSULY pissed me off. i've noticed i've been arguing unnecessarily with my new SO. he knows im quitting, he knows how heavy of a smoker i was, he knows about my late boyfriend, he doesn't know it's all connected and im nervous to explain/don't even know if i should.

is this going to get better??? when is this going to get better?? is there anything i can do during this process to help keep myself sane?? i feel as if im losing my mind. im trying so hard not to just say fuck it. thank you in advance to anyone who reads or responds

i tested positive for ureaplasma a couple days ago after unprotected sex 2 weeks ago with a new person. he was just a hookup, we had sex twice. i'm trying to understand ureaplasma and from what i've gathered it's not classified as an sti but is sexually transmitted, so do i need to tell him to go get tested since im assuming that's where i got this from? if yes, i am a little hesitant because i have a really strong feeling he's going to get upset and turn all of the blame onto me. or he's going to ignore me and not go get tested at all.

i had unprotected sex about 2 weeks ago now. immediately i had symptoms of a yeast infection so i went to urgent care and tested positive for yeast. negative for a uti but i had a high white blood cell count in my urine. i finished the meds and was fine (so i thought) until my period came two weeks early accompanied by itching and burning on day 3. as soon as i stopped bleeding i started getting all types of horrible weird discharge. i went and got tested again for mycoplasma and ureaplasma and it's ureaplasma.

the partner i'm referring to in the title is not who i got this from. 3 days after this hookup me and my best friend drunkenly told each other we have feelings for each other and this is something that's been building for the past year. we're preparing to do long distance. we leave each other in a week. i've been holding off on sex, i told him about the uti and my period. now i have to tell him about this and i'm so scared. i said he was my best friend first so he already knows about this hookup. but i'm nervous he won't want to talk to me anymore or he'll be upset we won't be able to have sex before we leave each other. just to note he hasn't gotten upset or anything. he's told me it's okay and we're okay. but i am still scared because this is different territory now. i don't know if this sounds stupid. any advice is appreciated.

so about two weeks ago i had unprotected sex. i had a sore throat/difficulty swallowing but it went away on its own. then i started having symptoms of a yeast infection. went to urgent care and tested positive for yeast and also a uti even though i wasn't really having symptoms. i took a diflucan and started antibiotics same day (macrobid). i was given another diflucan for after finishing then because i usually get yeast after antibiotics. well directly after finishing the antibiotics i started my period two weeks early. i didnt think much of it until i started having some internal itching/burning on about day 3 of my cycle. i took the other diflucan and just finished my cycle and now im having greenish and what looks like clear watery discharge and the itching and burning is much morse. i uploaded pictures to a different sub on my page. it's also slightly uncomfortable to pee and my urethra feels off. the discharge itself doesn't smell fishy when i put it on my finger but smells and feels like pus, like what comes out of a pimple. but from a distance when i open and close my legs i get a fishy smell and also around my vulva. i'm going to go back to urgent care in the morning but this is seriously taking a toll on me. i know they don't test for mycoplasma and im having a hard time finding someone who will because im out of state at college. and if its bv im going to be given more antibiotics which will lead to another yeast infection. my birthday is in 2 weeks and also leaving my long distance partner so im really disappointed and just want to get this figured out as soon as i can.