u/4damantGlimmer

“Perfect life” is making you miserable

we all have this thought that goes like this:

“if i had more money, the right person, time or space, i would be happy”

but this is the reason why you are depressed, lonely and burned out,

because it leads you into a life you dont want for yourself,

and makes you feel like you are still stuck no matter how much better your life gets:

The absence of problems is an illusion - Humans are naturally problematic, its a survival instinct we have where our brain is constantly seeking problems, if there isnt any, it creates them, like that wallpaper you have been thinking about, but when you chase that “perfect life”, what you end up doing is stripping your life of people and humanity, hating even yourself for having problems even when your life is “perfect”.

Traumas are key - the only reason why you want to achieve a life without problems is due to trauma, a time where you felt totally helpless, thats why you fantasize about an environment where you have total control over every single variable, but thats your trauma speaking, not your true self.

The right way is through - The only way to prove that a trauma doesnt have power over your life, is doing the opposite of what it makes you do, like saying sorry to your parents, or forgiving and ex, not because its the “right thing” to do, or because you agree with them, but because you want to know that you are able to pursue those paths if you want, to show yourself that you have power.

And this is where Happiness and safety lies, not when you can command an environment to obey your whims, but knowing that you adapt to any situation if required, even if its the most uncomfortable thing you have to do, that you arent doomed to one outcome, not even the one you built for yourself over the years, thats what freedom means, and “perfection” is the trap that keeps you stuck.

and if this is too hard for you now, its fine, take cold showers, drink coffee without sugar, be bored, and eventually, the thing you fear the most, will be just a step, effort stacks.

sorry if i made any mistakes, please point them out as im trying to improve.

“Perfect life” is making you miserable

we all have this thought that goes like this:

“if i had more money, the right person, time or space, i would be happy”

but this is the reason why you are depressed, lonely and burned out,

because it leads you into a life you dont want for yourself,

and makes you feel like you are still stuck no matter how much better your life gets:

The absence of problems is an illusion - Humans are naturally problematic, its a survival instinct we have where our brain is constantly seeking problems, if there isnt any, it creates them, like that wallpaper you have been thinking about, but when you chase that “perfect life”, what you end up doing is stripping your life of people and humanity, hating even yourself for having problems even when your life is “perfect”.

Traumas are key - the only reason why you want to achieve a life without problems is due to trauma, a time where you felt totally helpless, thats why you fantasize about an environment where you have total control over every single variable, but thats your trauma speaking, not your true self.

The right way is through - The only way to prove that a trauma doesnt have power over your life, is doing the opposite of what it makes you do, like saying sorry to your parents, or forgiving and ex, not because its the “right thing” to do, or because you agree with them, but because you want to know that you are able to pursue those paths if you want, to show yourself that you have power.

And this is where Happiness and safety lies, not when you can command an environment to obey your whims, but knowing that you adapt to any situation if required, even if its the most uncomfortable thing you have to do, that you arent doomed to one outcome, not even the one you built for yourself over the years, thats what freedom means, and “perfection” is the trap that keeps you stuck.

and if this is too hard for you now, its fine, take cold showers, drink coffee without sugar, be bored, and eventually, the thing you fear the most, will be just a step, effort stacks.

sorry if i made any mistakes, please point them out as im trying to improve.

I lived a big part of my life depressed, i tried, i studied, countless methods, even stuff like “mantras” and “manifesting” because i was so desperate to get out of it, im sure theres people here in the same situation, but the worst part is when you have to walk aimlessly, acquiring all these flawed concepts and labels, and only after taking time to Correct that, you finally bump into something that works.

My best quality is that i dont run from things, even that eternal void that eats your life we call depression, so i spent a long time there, but thats also how i found my way out, and im sorry to say this but, you cant dodge depression, only go through it, thats how you make depression smaller on your life on a level that doesnt steal from other things, but i discovered that the voices dont all come from the same person, so heres 3 people that hold a key to your Depression:

The child - This version of you is the one that controls most of your life, it fears pain, its doesn't do anything uncomfortable, and its reactive to everything, and if you never change your relationship to pain, this is where you will get stuck in, that means in real life terms, being addicted to everything, playing the victim card on all your relationships and making up excuses to why you are in the filth you are, this is the version that gives you control over life.

The Old person - This version is the one who holds all regrets, is bitter, and hopeless, and this person biggest fear is loneliness, and this is the person whos most responsible for your relationships, how it sabotages you even though you know so much, how it becomes the future you sell to other people, and this is why we want to help the child 1st, because its the child that helps this version of you the most, its makes the old person realize meaning behind action, and that gives you perception.

The Adult - And this isnt in a random order, we wanna help our past and future versions of ourselves in order to wake up the adult, because this version hates responsibility the most, only wants to make money and spend it on travel and toys, and it never accepts complicated people, so they end up with a boring and uneventful life, but if you give it Meaning, and Perception, then its easier to accept Responsibility, making any goals or principles you have be more than words, reality.

The goal of this isnt to sell you some course, or give you more problems than you already have, but to give you a clean choice, free of fear and anger or laziness, thats not a byproduct from your traumas but your will, thats the end of depression, the moment of that having any kind of power over you.

thats the only way to happiness, you accept the burdens in order to bargain for the life you want, i hope this helps you find the way out,

sorry for any mistakes, please point them as im trying to improve.

I lived a big part of my life depressed, i tried, i studied, countless methods, even stuff like “mantras” and “manifesting” because i was so desperate to get out of it, im sure theres people here in the same situation, but the worst part is when you have to walk aimlessly, acquiring all these flawed concepts and labels, and only after taking time to Correct that, you finally bump into something that works.

My best quality is that i dont run from things, even that eternal void that eats your life we call depression, so i spent a long time there, but thats also how i found my way out, and im sorry to say this but, you cant dodge depression, only go through it, thats how you make depression smaller on your life on a level that doesnt steal from other things, but i discovered that the voices dont all come from the same person, so heres 3 people that hold a key to your Depression:

The child - This version of you is the one that controls most of your life, it fears pain, its doesn't do anything uncomfortable, and its reactive to everything, and if you never change your relationship to pain, this is where you will get stuck in, that means in real life terms, being addicted to everything, playing the victim card on all your relationships and making up excuses to why you are in the filth you are, this is the version that gives you control over life.

The Old person - This version is the one who holds all regrets, is bitter, and hopeless, and this person biggest fear is loneliness, and this is the person whos most responsible for your relationships, how it sabotages you even though you know so much, how it becomes the future you sell to other people, and this is why we want to help the child 1st, because its the child that helps this version of you the most, its makes the old person realize meaning behind action, and that gives you perception.

The Adult - And this isnt in a random order, we wanna help our past and future versions of ourselves in order to wake up the adult, because this version hates responsibility the most, only wants to make money and spend it on travel and toys, and it never accepts complicated people, so they end up with a boring and uneventful life, but if you give it Meaning, and Perception, then its easier to accept Responsibility, making any goals or principles you have be more than words, reality.

The goal of this isnt to sell you some course, or give you more problems than you already have, but to give you a clean choice, free of fear and anger or laziness, thats not a byproduct from your traumas but your will, thats the end of depression, the moment of that having any kind of power over you.

thats the only way to happiness, you accept the burdens in order to bargain for the life you want, i hope this helps you find the way out,

sorry for any mistakes, please point them as im trying to improve.

I lived a big part of my life depressed, i tried, i studied, countless methods, even stuff like “mantras” and “manifesting” because i was so desperate to get out of it, im sure theres people here in the same situation, but the worst part is when you have to walk aimlessly, acquiring all these flawed concepts and labels, and only after taking time to Correct that, you finally bump into something that works.

My best quality is that i dont run from things, even that eternal void that eats your life we call depression, so i spent a long time there, but thats also how i found my way out, and im sorry to say this but, you cant dodge depression, only go through it, thats how you make depression smaller on your life on a level that doesnt steal from other things, but i discovered that the voices dont all come from the same person, so heres 3 people that hold a key to your Depression:

The child - This version of you is the one that controls most of your life, it fears pain, its doesn't do anything uncomfortable, and its reactive to everything, and if you never change your relationship to pain, this is where you will get stuck in, that means in real life terms, being addicted to everything, playing the victim card on all your relationships and making up excuses to why you are in the filth you are, this is the version that gives you control over life.

The Old person - This version is the one who holds all regrets, is bitter, and hopeless, and this person biggest fear is loneliness, and this is the person whos most responsible for your relationships, how it sabotages you even though you know so much, how it becomes the future you sell to other people, and this is why we want to help the child 1st, because its the child that helps this version of you the most, its makes the old person realize meaning behind action, and that gives you perception.

The Adult - And this isnt in a random order, we wanna help our past and future versions of ourselves in order to wake up the adult, because this version hates responsibility the most, only wants to make money and spend it on travel and toys, and it never accepts complicated people, so they end up with a boring and uneventful life, but if you give it Meaning, and Perception, then its easier to accept Responsibility, making any goals or principles you have be more than words, reality.

The goal of this isnt to sell you some course, or give you more problems than you already have, but to give you a clean choice, free of fear and anger or laziness, thats not a byproduct from your traumas but your will, thats the end of depression, the moment of that having any kind of power over you.

thats the only way to happiness, you accept the burdens in order to bargain for the life you want, i hope this helps you find the way out,

sorry for any mistakes, please point them as im trying to improve.

We have all been there,

the constant slur of insults you throw at yourself,

the guilt and anxiety that eats you

for not doing what you decided to do,

and the eternal pit of darkness you are thrown into

if you are not useful,

what if that isnt a sign that you are useless but that you a scared?

Motivation didnt work for me, self worth mantras neither,

what worked for me was understanding:

1. Doomed scenarios and inherent flaws - You dont hate these thoughts, you like them, because they protect you from uncertainty of life, from failure, after all, if you dont try, you also cant fail neither, so you stay in this space even though you are miserable, because predictability is easier than doing it without the promise of immediate reward, its not that you arent worthy, you are just scared.

2. Face the fear - You know how capable people get treated, especially here on reddit, constant criticism and responsibility, so success doesnt look like something good, more like a burden, and why would you be willing to pick that up? Why would you try if it will only lead to more burdens and fights? Why would you not sabotage yourself?

3. Why we fight - If you never walk 5 miles, all your world will ever be, is under a 5 mile radius, so if a threat comes at you from further than 5 miles, you can’t see it. So if you never try to improve, avoid pain, that means all your destiny will be, is to be a victim, and there's is someone you owe effort to, yourself, its not a choice, its a responsibility, and if you never accept that burden, that means all that awaits you is suffering. Pain is unavoidable, suffering is a choice.

Why would we put ourselves through this wheel of pain? This rat race? Because if we dont, then life doesnt grow, we lose the capacity to use effort to bargain for the life we want,just constantly running away and surviving, and you deserve better, you deserve to LIVE.

And if you fight for your own life, then why would anyone opinions have any weight on you?

Why would they matter?

sorry for any mistakes, please point them as im trying to improve.

We have all been there,

the constant slur of insults you throw at yourself,

the guilt and anxiety that eats you

for not doing what you decided to do,

and the eternal pit of darkness you are thrown into

if you are not useful,

what if that isnt a sign that you are useless but that you a scared?

Motivation didnt work for me, self worth mantras neither,

what worked for me was understanding:

1. Doomed scenarios and inherent flaws - You dont hate these thoughts, you like them, because they protect you from uncertainty of life, from failure, after all, if you dont try, you also cant fail neither, so you stay in this space even though you are miserable, because predictability is easier than doing it without the promise of immediate reward, its not that you arent worthy, you are just scared.

2. Face the fear - You know how capable people get treated, especially here on reddit, constant criticism and responsibility, so success doesnt look like something good, more like a burden, and why would you be willing to pick that up? Why would you try if it will only lead to more burdens and fights? Why would you not sabotage yourself?

3. Why we fight - If you never walk 5 miles, all your world will ever be, is under a 5 mile radius, so if a threat comes at you from further than 5 miles, you can’t see it. So if you never try to improve, avoid pain, that means all your destiny will be, is to be a victim, and there's is someone you owe effort to, yourself, its not a choice, its a responsibility, and if you never accept that burden, that means all that awaits you is suffering. Pain is unavoidable, suffering is a choice.

Why would we put ourselves through this wheel of pain? This rat race? Because if we dont, then life doesnt grow, we lose the capacity to use effort to bargain for the life we want,just constantly running away and surviving, and you deserve better, you deserve to LIVE.

And if you fight for your own life, then why would anyone opinions have any weight on you?

Why would they matter?

sorry for any mistakes, please point them as im trying to improve.

We have all been there,

the constant slur of insults you throw at yourself,

the guilt and anxiety that eats you

for not doing what you decided to do,

and the eternal pit of darkness you are thrown into

if you are not useful,

what if that isnt a sign that you are useless but that you a scared?

Motivation didnt work for me, self worth mantras neither,

what worked for me was understanding:

1. Doomed scenarios and inherent flaws - You dont hate these thoughts, you like them, because they protect you from uncertainty of life, from failure, after all, if you dont try, you also cant fail neither, so you stay in this space even though you are miserable, because predictability is easier than doing it without the promise of immediate reward, its not that you arent worthy, you are just scared.

2. Face the fear - You know how capable people get treated, especially here on reddit, constant criticism and responsibility, so success doesnt look like something good, more like a burden, and why would you be willing to pick that up? Why would you try if it will only lead to more burdens and fights? Why would you not sabotage yourself?

3. Why we fight - If you never walk 5 miles, all your world will ever be, is under a 5 mile radius, so if a threat comes at you from further than 5 miles, you can’t see it. So if you never try to improve, avoid pain, that means all your destiny will be, is to be a victim, and there's is someone you owe effort to, yourself, its not a choice, its a responsibility, and if you never accept that burden, that means all that awaits you is suffering. Pain is unavoidable, suffering is a choice.

Why would we put ourselves through this wheel of pain? This rat race? Because if we dont, then life doesnt grow, we lose the capacity to use effort to bargain for the life we want,just constantly running away and surviving, and you deserve better, you deserve to LIVE.

And if you fight for your own life, then why would anyone opinions have any weight on you?

Why would they matter?

sorry for any mistakes, please point them as im trying to improve.

We have all been there,

the constant slur of insults you throw at yourself,

the guilt and anxiety that eats you

for not doing what you decided to do,

and the eternal pit of darkness you are thrown into

if you are not useful,

what if that isnt a sign that you are useless but that you a scared?

Motivation didnt work for me, self worth mantras neither,

what worked for me was understanding:

1. Doomed scenarios and inherent flaws - You dont hate these thoughts, you like them, because they protect you from uncertainty of life, from failure, after all, if you dont try, you also cant fail neither, so you stay in this space even though you are miserable, because predictability is easier than doing it without the promise of immediate reward, its not that you arent worthy, you are just scared.

2. Face the fear - You know how capable people get treated, especially here on reddit, constant criticism and responsibility, so success doesnt look like something good, more like a burden, and why would you be willing to pick that up? Why would you try if it will only lead to more burdens and fights? Why would you not sabotage yourself?

3. Why we fight - If you never walk 5 miles, all your world will ever be, is under a 5 mile radius, so if a threat comes at you from further than 5 miles, you can’t see it. So if you never try to improve, avoid pain, that means all your destiny will be, is to be a victim, and there's is someone you owe effort to, yourself, its not a choice, its a responsibility, and if you never accept that burden, that means all that awaits you is suffering. Pain is unavoidable, suffering is a choice.

Why would we put ourselves through this wheel of pain? This rat race? Because if we dont, then life doesnt grow, we lose the capacity to use effort to bargain for the life we want,just constantly running away and surviving, and you deserve better, you deserve to LIVE.

And if you fight for your own life, then why would anyone opinions have any weight on you?

Why would they matter?

sorry for any mistakes, please point them as im trying to improve.