u/3veryTh1ng15W0r5eN0w

Hurts I’m not your person

I know feelings can be scary

People fuck up

It all depends on how we handle the aftermath

Being an adult/friend means (in my eyes),taking the good with the bad,acknowledging when you fucked up,apologizing for shitty behavior,being accountable with your actions and behaviors

I’m not blaming or pointing fingers

I’m saying I miss you as my friend

I feel so confused and hurt about last year

How do you see me?

What am I to you?

The book “How to be an Adult in Relationships” has helped me a lot in how to mindfully love

I love you

All of you

You deserve love

I don’t know what your plan is (I don’t know if you intend to reach out to me or not considering what happened last year)

I wanted to give you a heads up that I will be in British Columbia in September from sunday til monday.

I’m doing this as a courtesy.

I don’t expect a response.

I don’t expect anything.

I hope you are doing good.

His memoir has been eye opening in regards to how addicts feel during addiction

I have severe ADHD (struggle to form a verbal sentence unless I’m medicated),autistic,and auditory processing disorder

I’ve dabbled in drugs in my late teens and early 20’s

I thought I could self medicate with meth when I was 19..?

In chapter 10,Perry talks about how opioid use led to his colon exploding,had a bowling ball sized hole in his stomach (didn’t know that was even possible) and you what he asked the doctor to prescribe him?

OPIATES

His colon exploded

He was placed on EPAC (not sure if that’s how it’s spelled) machine. (I think that helps you breathe)

Was in a coma for 14 days and had to learn how to walk

This happened to him in 2018 (I think)

When I was 22,I took coke on a mostly empty stomach.

I ended up having a seizure and was in a coma for 3 days

Missed my birthday

You know what I wanted to do when I went home?

More coke

This was 20 years ago

Turns out, there is a link between ADHD addictive behaviors

I believe the only reason I’m not doing coke right now is because I got diagnosed for ADHD and got a prescription for Adderall

Adderall (for me) is a life saving drug

Vyvanse is a lifesaver as well

My question is,anyone else experience addictive behaviors as well?

EDIT: I have codependency issues and I feel like that alone can lead to addictive behaviors.

Thoughts?

His memoir has been eye opening in regards to how addicts feel during addiction

I have severe ADHD (struggle to form a verbal sentence unless I’m medicated),autistic,and auditory processing disorder

I’ve dabbled in drugs in my late teens and early 20’s

I thought I could self medicate with meth when I was 19..?

In chapter 10,Perry talks about how opioid use led to his colon exploding,had a bowling ball sized hole in his stomach (didn’t know that was even possible) and you what he asked the doctor to prescribe him?

OPIATES

His colon exploded

He was placed on EPAC (not sure if that’s how it’s spelled) machine. (I think that helps you breathe)

Was in a coma for 14 days and had to learn how to walk

This happened to him in 2018 (I think)

When I was 22,I took coke on a mostly empty stomach.

I ended up having a seizure and was in a coma for 3 days

Missed my birthday

You know what I wanted to do when I went home?

More coke

Turns out, there is a link between ADHD addictive behaviors

My question is,anyone else experience addictive behaviors as well?

Dear K,

I’m sorry I didn’t read about addiction sooner

I was incredibly naive and thought you had everything under control (like how I handle my ADHD)

I’m sorry I didn’t give you your space

I’m sorry I didn’t stick to my boundaries

I have worked a little bit on my codependence

I know if we started talking now,I might struggle with setting boundaries and might slip into codependence with you

It hurts so much that you don’t see me romantically anymore

It hurts that you don’t want me as your person

I want to see you

I want to be your cheerleader

I want to be your shoulder to cry on

I still think about you

I’ll always love you

You’ll always be in my heart

If you don’t see me as your person,please give me a chance to get over you

Then,we can talk

Then we can be friends

I love you

Please be gentle with yourself

Give yourself grace

Reward yourself when you’re ____ amount of days sober

Show yourself love,respect, and kindness

I miss you and hope you’re doing really good

Love,

You know who this is