https://vocaroo.com/1c1dO59oKUJz
I've lived in the same city forever. When I first meet someone, they will hear me talk and assume I'm from somewhere else. They say I "have an accent"- when I ask them to describe this accent, they never can pinpoint it or explain it (maybe they're afraid to?)
I'm a 27 year old dude who works as a software engineer. My job is pretty low-demand and a lot of the time I'll complete my work early. This often leads to boredom and middle-school-esque shenanigans- usually with my next-door neighbor in cubicle land, a 45 year old asian guy who we'll call Matt.
One day, the scenario described above was in full-swing. Both Matt and I had finished a project recently and hadn't been assigned anything new. We took this as the perfect opportunity to start changing the screensavers on our work computers (rack mount Ubuntu machines). We set up XScreenSaver on every computer within our reach and started saving images to use.
We cycled through old stupid memes, weird uncanny horror imagery, and a whole plethora of other things... until finally I got a crazy idea and suggested that we make the screensaver images gay furries kissing. I'm gay and used to be a furry as a teenager, I still follow some furry artists as sorta a guilty pleasure. Matt loved the idea. We got about 30 images of the stuff and threw it in a folder for XScreenSaver to use.
Fast forward to today, almost a month later. I had totally forgotten about this situation. Honestly, I had been using my computer so often that I never saw the gay furry images popup through the screensaver. This was the crux of the problem.
My boss called me up and asked if he could come down to my cubicle to talk to me about a new project and give me my performance evaluation. I told him he could come down at any time. About an hour later, he came over to my cubicle and we began talking.
About 15 minutes into our conversation, he went silent. I was confused but kept talking to him. He started speaking again but spoke almost as if he had seen a ghost. I asked him if he was okay and he said "Yeah... I'm fine" but was noticeably off with me and seemed to be focusing on something to my side.
I looked at what he was focusing on and noticed that he wss glaring right at my work computer, as it cycled through image after image of buff furry men eating eachother's faces. I quickly pressed my space key. We finished our conversation but it was extremely awkward. My boss is a 65 year old LDS guy, I doubt he even knows what furries are.
TL;DR:
Switched the screensaver on my work PC to images of anthro men making out. Forgot about it. Old LDS boss came to talk to me and noticed.
If you don't know what I mean, I'm talking about this sorta singing style: https://youtu.be/1hEQd-1XdIs
Only bands/artists I know like this are The Strange Boys and The Savage Young Taterbug... I want to find more, I love this singing style so much. Thanks in advance!
I'm 27M and extremely confused and genuinely feel really dirty for ignoring this problem for so long. Let me sorta explain my situation. I'm also curious if anybody has been in a similar boat and beaten it with NoFap/abstinence from pornography?
When I was a young kid and first entering puberty, I was definitely bisexual... I remember looking up images online of naked men and naked women and being aroused by both. I remember looking at naked depictions of both the male and female body in anatomy books and getting sexually excited. With this being said, for whatever reason I always gravitated more towards men. I feel like it's because I found men more aesthetically appealing and I also liked the taboo of it. Like, I felt like I couldn't ever be publicly open about being attracted to men, the secrecy of it all made me excited.
Anyway, when I was around 13 I discovered furry pornography, and in particular, gay furry pornography. This was like cocaine to me... and it's been pretty much all I've masturbated to for years... but I feel like it's messed up my sexuality in a number of ways. For one, I havent been seriously sexually attracted to women for at least 10 years now, I consider myself gay at this point and even came out to family and friends as gay. I know I was bisexual a long time ago, and this bugs me for some reason. I feel like I'm supposed to be marrying a woman and having a family, but I can't ever imagine myself with a woman... but I feel really guilty, because I feel like as a kid I could've imagined myself with a woman, and I've just fried my brain with too much gay furry pornography and corrupted my bisexuality into homosexuality. I struggle with the idea of being bisexual in and if itself because I feel like even if I was in a relationship with a woman I would crave men.
Now the furry thing... It's a problem because I feel like nobody IRL can live up to that cute perfect character style. It's also impacted my sexual desires... I have been in relationships/hooked up with men and been really attracted to them, the strong attraction to furry porn doesn't prevent me from performing sexually... but I always feel like real sex is never as good as the fantasy of anthro sex... as crazy as that sounds. Like, I had sex with a guy on a mountaintop and it was kinky as hell and felt really good, but I still felt like I was chasing a high that can't possibly ever exist in the real world. I'm fixated on things like Bad Dragon as a result of furry porn.
I've weaned myself off of the stuff a few times and just either went to abstinence of juat standard gay porn, but I feel like I awlays crave the furry stuff again... and in particular, a few artists I've been following since I was a teenager.
Anyway, im all sorts of mixed up and genuinely depressed over it. If you've read this far, I really appreciate it. Hopefully I can hear from others who have beaten this.