r/toddlers

When my 2 year old was having an absolute meltdown tantrum and I was trying to restrain her. Feeling so overwhelmed, so stressed about not wanting to bother everyone around me.

Then you walked by and gave me a look.

It wasn’t pity. It wasn’t judgment. It was just… I see you.

Like, *you’ve got this.*

Like, *I’ve been there.*

I am so grateful to you for that look. It made me feel so much less alone, and got me through that flight from hell. Thank you.

Does anyone else feel like not having a “village” nearby really impacts how you parent?

It’s just my husband and me. We both work full time, (I also travel a lot for work), we’re dealing with secondary infertility, and we’re in the thick of the 3 year old phase… which is no joke. Our son has been struggling with listening, pushing boundaries, and just generally being very strong-willed. We *obviously* love him more than anything, but we are so exhausted.

We don’t have family nearby or regular help. The only real break we get is one night a month when daycare does a “parents night out” for a few hours. Outside of that, it’s constant. We’re always “on,” always dividing and conquering, or all together as a family.

And I feel like it’s affecting how we parent. We’re more short than we want to be. We don’t have the patience we wish we did. Everything feels harder because there’s no reset time.

I see people who have grandparents nearby or built-in help and I honestly wonder how different this would feel.

Is anyone else in this situation? How are you coping? Does it get easier, or do you just adapt?

I have two kids, 3.5 and 1.5. Yesterday I was driving in the turn lane and someone abruptly tried to rapidly pull in right as I was going past them; I guess they didn't look first. But they laid on their horn for some reason as if I'd done something wrong, then tailgated me super close before pulling off the road to swerve in front of me then slamming on their brakes. I beeped my horn and then they pulled forward a few feet before slamming on brakes again. They did this over and over and over and I was scared for my kids in the back, that we might get in an accident--but also the anger was intense and I was yelling fuck you, fuck you, what the fuck every time it happened.

I know I need to not do that, because this guy's road rage could have ended badly. I will NEVER do that again, because once it set in what the consequences could have been, I was horrified.

But I'm ALSO horrified about showing that much anger in front of my kids. When we pulled over, I saw that my 3.5 year old had unshed tears in his eyes. I apologized to both kids and explained that mommy was scared, and she wasn't angry at them, and shouldn't have yelled.

But I still feel horrible and worry I've done serious damage to them.

Our daughter says a couple times a week that she does not want to go to daycare, even though she loves it there and loves the other kids there, because she’d rather “stay home with mom and dad and play”. When this happens, we try to change the subject/redirect her to focus on something that she’s gonna like in the near future like wearing a dress or what breakfast we’re gonna have. What tools/arguments do you use in the situation with your kiddo?

I’ve always heard that toddlers don’t have impulse control, but it’s been hilarious to see it in real life. When my 3.5 year old son does something out of pocket, like randomly dump a whole bottle of water onto the floor seemingly out of the blue, and my immediate reaction is “wtf why did you do that????” He always looks right into my eyes and gives me a sweet and genuine “I don’t know”. And while we correct the behavior in the moment (“we don’t make messes/we need to clean this up”) it always makes me laugh that they really DON’T know why they did that. It’s like their brain just turns off for a second and there’s nothing in there except a couple tumble weeds and some wind 😂

The look on his face immediately after trying to figure out what he was trying to achieve by doing that is priceless.

If you don’t laugh you cry, right?

I’m right handed and hold my girl on my left. Curious if it’s always the opposite.

My child is 2.5 and loves nature and being outside all day. I’m looking for ideas to make outdoor play more fun and educational for her.

Here are the things we usually do: playground time, the water table in our backyard, watering plants, helping me garden, and taking walks around the neighborhood so she can play with sticks, rocks, leaves, etc. She also loves going to the lake to look for animals and bugs.

I talk to her a lot about nature-related topics whenever we’re outside. At home, we read big encyclopedia books so she can learn more about the things she sees, and she really enjoys that. I also encourage her to create games with the things she collects. We have a paint set so she can paint rocks and leaves too.

I’m planning to set up another small table in the backyard so she can do sensory play, simple science experiments, and arts and crafts with me.

What do you think? I’d love more recommendations or ideas beyond what we’re already doing.

Thanks everyone

3yo: I want to see [cousin]

Me: We can’t, she lives too far away.

3yo: Okay, let’s get in the car now.

Me: No, like we’d be in the car all day. Plus she has school and sports, we’d barely see her.

3yo: Okay… I want to see Cookie Monster.

Me: I don’t know where he lives.

3yo: He lives at Sesame Street.

🙃

Well played, kid. Well played.

i am the mom of a level 1 (aka high functioning for those unfamiliar) autistic 3 year old. she can be super hard in certain ways and super easy in certain ways.

some of our biggest struggles are being out running errands and going places such as the grocery store, pharmacy, etc. thrift store in the cart while mom browses? never. she struggles to stay with me, go with the flow, and just understand all of the social underpinnings and routines of these contexts. really struggles with waiting. i have hope that with practice she will be much more successful in the future.

all that to say i swear i read so much about kiddos on here (reddit) that struggle in similar ways. tantrums at the grocery store, screaming in the car, impatient, on edge, not listening, etc. the thing is I NEVER SEE THESE KIDS IN THE WILD.

i really don’t. i always see cooperative compliant happy kids, glad to be out doing whatever their grownup is doing. trust me i’m looking for them and i don’t see them! i also work one day a week at a friend's coffee shop and the way these 2 and 3 year olds act just leaves me with my jaw hanging on my floor every time. never really once seen a kid have a hard time where i work. 

is the universe keeping me from these children or is it really as simple as tough kids don’t go out as much because the parents are less inclined to bring them in tow. because i know that is my kid. please someone give me some insight here.

Wondering if anyone has had a similar experience, or currently going through this with their 18M-24M old. But our LO the last week or so has been waking up every night, sometimes twice a night to complain until he sits up and starts crying and refuses to go back down. Last night he went to bed at 8:30 am, and woke up at 1030 complaining about something.

We're not sure what we're dealing with. No stuffy nose, yet he repeatedly smacks his own face in the nose/mouth area as if he had a stuffy nose, which has led to a bloody nose a couple times in the past. When we go in there to check, he's breathing fine.

Lately he has been itching his eyes which we think is due to season allergies, so we've been giving him Childrens Zyrtec before bedtime, but he still wakes up around the 2 am mark. If he's not crying or whining, he just sits there and looks at the door until he either falls back asleep, or he just starts crying. And that has me wondering how long is he keeping himself awake overnight.

We're unsure if it's teething. He has most of his teeth, and he has a couple that have been coming in but it feels like they've been coming in for more than two weeks.

None of this seems to bother him throughout the day or disrupts his nap. He does appear to have less patience though, fighting diaper changes and getting irritated more often.

He has a diaper rash, but doesn't seem too bad and he's slept fine with diaper rashes before.

Please help because I'm at my wits end with this. If he wakes up, he doesn't go down unless one of us sleeps in the bed wit him, and even then he struggles to go back down for a good 30 minutes, and half the time will wake up again over god knows what.... I guess just to complain.

Sincerely,

One very tired father and mother.

Has anyone purchased Pebblestones? How are you liking them so far? Are they worth it? We're thinking of getting them as a second birthday gift for our toddler.

For the Canadians - did you get hit with customs and duties?

I'm in the middle of pottytraining my 2.5yo son. I am using the 3-day method: bottomless and trying to catch wee when he needs to go until he gets it. I am on Day 3 and I'm unsure of the progress. He is aware pee is coming, he looks at me to "signal" me (I think? it happened twice too early to consider it deliberate), but is also holding his pee for long stretches.

Ofc, I wasn't delusional into thinking he would def be 100% pottytrained and go to the potty independently after 3 days. However, I have taken this whole week off and hope he'll at least be ready for nursery to take over. I think I can get him to signal and limit accidents by then, but unsure if the nursery staff is going to watch him for cues. I start a new job from next week, my son will be in nursery 4.5 days, incl 1 new nursery where he has been during a settlement session. Yes, timing is not ideal at all as I expect a potential potty regression due to the new nursery, but these are the last 7 days I have off to push it. i tried to pottytrain a few times since he has been ready ages ago, but timing was always bad: Christmas, new nursery, whole family sick with norovirus... I'm in the UK, kids start school at 3yo and they are expected to be pottytrained by then, which I find very early! I will not have another week where I can dedicate this much time to pottytraining since I'll be in my work's probation period.

So I am mostly wondering what I can expect from nursery next week and at what stage my son would realistically be at after 7 days. Online sources focus on the strategy but aren't explicit on what happens after 3 days 😅 I also feel kinda bad if there is still a lot to be done and I am leaving nursery to sort it fulltime but not going back to nappies

Been struggling with my 2 year olds sleep for the last few months, and this past 2-3 weeks have been really bad. We moved him to a “big boy bed” because he was climbing out of his crib, and lately he’s just been waking in the middle of the night calling for me, wanting me to lay in the bed with him. I cave and do it a lot of the time but then I’m like okay well now I’m creating a habit. He doesn’t like us to close the door at bedtime, so I had been keeping it cracked but now I’m realizing that’s part of the problem, because then he wakes up and sees it’s closed and freaks out.

Should I stay in the room with him while he falls asleep, with the door closed, but not in the bed, just sitting on the floor across from him? I’m not against CIO as it’s worked for us in the past but last night he cried for an hour banging on the door and I gave up.

I’m just panicked because I’m due with #2 at the end of June. Not only am I worried about him sleeping while we’re at the hospital and he’s potentially at a different house, I’m also worried about balancing this with newborn wakeups. Help!

Our family moved closer to my husband's side of the family very recently and for the most part it's been great. I always knew my MIL's idea of healthy food wasn't great, but at the very most my two and one year old would have a snack when we were over there, and I was always there to approve and deny what they asked for. Lately she's been offering to help with the kids more and watch them while I do errands or just for fun. Today she watched them while my husband and I went to go get our taxes done, and she was unloading groceries when we get there. Boxes of popsicles, soda, cool whip, party food, juice with added sugar and dyes. My two year old son is getting excited about the popsicles, and my MIL tells me how much she loves popsicles for kids because it's a fun way to get hydrated, and cool whip is a fun healthy treat, and immediately asks if they want some of the juice. They haven't even had supper yet at this point and of course they didn't eat anything good for supper because they were too excited for all the treats she's promised them and I'm trying to intervene before we leave, like "hey let's get you some water or milk" or "you need to eat a good supper before you have popsicles, and you can only have one" which is causing a tantrum from my two year old. She's otherwise great with watching the kids. She has plenty of age appropriate toys, she's respectful when I tell her which shows the kids can and can't watch, she has them play outside and has them clean up their messes and is very calm with them, but the food thing drives me crazy. She has two younger sons only a little older than my kids, and she'll let them eat cool whip and soda for supper every night if they want to, so she thinks that's ok for my kids too. My husband and I have tried talking to her about it, but she comes from a long line of "diet means it's healthy" type people. Would it be mean to pack lunches/suppers for them when they go over? What am I supposed to do when I tell her to give them healthy food and she interprets that as popsicles and juice "because it's fruit!"? I don't mind "spoiling" from grandparents but this is crossing a hard line.

While potty training, I was teaching my son the proper names for his private parts and helping him distinguish his parts from mine. Unfortunately, he caught unto “pagina”. Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is 🫣🤣

Now, it’s his favorite word and I’m trying so hard to ignore him so he stops saying it but it’s been quite the process. Last week we were in a coffee shop and he went, “mommy, where’s your pagina?” Then he waited until we went into the library’s washroom today and went, “mommy, wipe your pagina!”

Oooooh, the shame 🫣

It was hilarious though so I thought I’d share and ask who has been in a similar experience because I know we’re not alone

My 2 year old has a comfort toy that she is VERY attached to. I’m totally okay with this and love that she loves it so much, but she gets very aggressive when anyone else touches it, especially at daycare. She has one friend that she is constantly scratching because she thinks he is coming to take her toy. She actually really likes this kid and plays with him really well most of the time, but apparently the other day she dropped her toy and he picked it up to give it back to her and she got majorly pissed off.

Has anyone dealt with something similar and has advice for how to get her not to be so aggressive about it? She’s scratching this poor kid almost daily and we’re really trying to work on getting to the root cause and it seems this might be a factor

Has anyone seen a difference in how their toddlers do overall with exposure to phone time vs. TV time? I don’t own a TV and can’t afford one at the moment so my son gets 30-40mins a day of phone time. Isolated to Spotify kids playlists, my Google Photos app, and occasionally YouTube with close supervision. I’m just worried that the familiarity with short form content (scrolling quickly through Spotify’s “story” style tracks or even just regular tracks) is going to affect him more badly developmentally than a focused sit-down episode of a kids show would.

Hi all,

My son is 14 months old and while visiting a family member, he was using their toddler tower and loved it. I'd like to get him one even if he's a little on the young side - lately, he hates sitting in his high chair for meals so I think being able to stand at the counter would be a good option. Plus, he's always trying to get in the way while we cook so this might help!

I'm considering one of the convertible ones that can also be used as a little table and chair. Anyone have any experience with those? Ideally I'd like for it to have a back to the chair, which I've found on etsy, but they're a bit pricey.

We have fairly limited space but we do have space under our island counter top. I don't need one that folds for storage because we don't really have any closet space for it anyway, and I see it being used pretty frequently.

I did see the consumer reports thing - one of them is hideous and the other seems REALLY bulky. Just looking for other options that are still safe.

Thanks!

My 2 year old is very picky and strong willed. If we try to encourage her to eat anything she doesn’t like she digs her heels in. Currently she eats:

Peanut butter sandwiches

Cheese

Yogurt

Noodles

Chicken

Deli ham

Raspberries as long as I take a bite and ensure that it’s sweet, not tart.

Rice

Scrambled egg(w/ cheese)

-

She has clogged the toilet 3 times this week. She’s going, she’s just having HUGE hard turds. I also know how important it is for her long term gut health to eat fiber, I don’t want her to get colon cancer as a young adult. My pediatrician recommends miralax, which we give her, but her poops are still huge. She’s very sensitive to textures. Any tips?? Recipes??

🙏

My 3.5 year old has always been extra sensitive and is one of those big feeling kids. Since the newborn stage, she has cried a lot for all the little and big things. The period from 16 months to 3 was the absolute worst with big tantrums multiple times a week and sometimes, days. Now she’s 3.5 and I do see improvement once she turned 3 but she is still so dramatic and whiny. When she reacts it’s a big reaction. She’s not autistic or doesn’t have any developmental delays or issues that have been recognized, she is just a big feeling kid who is extra sensitive and gets triggered easily. It’s exhausting though and I feel burnt out just dealing with her (I also have a 2 year old). I see the big difference between the 2 kids, my 2 year old is no walk in the park but his tantrums are not nearly as bad as hers.

I’m worried that she will never be a happy kid. The thought of her always being this fragile and whiny and upset at everything consumes me at times. We give her so much love and she’s a sweet kid but she is so intense with her feelings. Does anyone have a kid like this who ended up maturing and growing into a happy person ?