r/selflove

I am very sensitive to embarrassment. I remember and cringe even years later. when people don’t vibe with me, I feel like I need to cease to exist. no matter how nice I am, of course I can’t please everyone and I feel like I don’t belong. not caring and moving on quickly and effectively seems like a superpower to me. additionally, I have extreme regret for missed opportunities.

I’m a 20-year-old, and I’m saying this with the comfort of being anonymous, knowing people won’t be able to put a name to this post. But it’s been hitting me more and more every day: I’ve never really loved myself, and I’ve always felt like I don’t deserve it. I don’t fully know what it feels like. I know that may sound like hyperbole, but hear me out.

I grew up as an ugly kid, which didn’t really help my self-esteem. I was the guy who got asked out as a dare or laughed at. I was pretty socially awkward as a kid, though that later improved. I remember in middle school, the popular girls would sometimes treat me like a little child, as if I had special needs. I hated it, but I’m glad I later developed some kind of humor, and that helped me make friends.

I don’t want to make myself completely a victim. I didn’t really put effort into myself, but I don’t know. I just never had the belief that I could ever be attractive, no matter what I did. I’m currently on my fitness journey and went from 200+ lbs, all fat, to 158 and about 19% body fat the last time I checked.

Despite all this, I still see myself as ugly, and I’ve never had a relationship. Lately, I’ve kind of checked myself out of wanting a girlfriend because I want to figure myself out first, which probably works out for the best. I was a huge wuss about those kinds of things. Maybe my low self-esteem is why.

There’s also a theory I’ve been working on lately. Long story short, because I don’t want to put too much out there and I’m already tearing up writing this, my relationship with my father is complicated. He was absent and emotionally distant for most of my life. As a kid, I was constantly berated, sometimes hit, and always compared to him.

The sad part is, I look just like him. I think maybe that’s why I hate my face so much. I don’t know. I just don’t know what to do.

I just want some tips to get me started. I truly don’t know what self-love is, and I’m tired of calling myself stupid for not being able to figure out how to love myself.

Lately I’ve been trying to be more intentional with how I spend my day and take care of myself mentally. Not in a big, overwhelming “fix your whole life” way, just small things that actually make a difference.

So I’m curious — what are the little things you do every day that noticeably improve your mood?

Could be anything:

• habits
• routines
• random rituals
• mindset shifts
• even tiny things that seem insignificant but help

Would love to hear what works for you guys 🫶

I mean, very petite. No breasts or butt. I'm a 20-year-old woman, 5'2" tall, and weigh about 100 pounds. I feel like no dresses look good on me. I'd like to truly love and accept myself so I can wear whatever I want in the summer and not worry about what others think.

I genuinely hate myself for how I was like 4 years ago and ever since I’ve been a better person after my therapy and adhd diagnosis but I still hate myself as I am now, I still see myself as that person back then I don’t even see the me now if that makes sense. When someone says my name for I write my name down I just feel shame. Have ye ever felt that way what helped. It sounds like a cringe movie line but I can’t seem myself now only who I was. Thank you for reading ❤️

https://preview.redd.it/m890jn8vswsg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=2a37f488b447a27200eb769beebe977b0f264128

I’m scared and feel like I will never be the same again and just feel as though a dark cloud is following me round and can’t see anyway out.

My partner of 20 years cheated on me and is still with his affair partner. He has been messaging me daily since we split 6 months ago- sometimes being nasty sometimes being nice.

I know he is not a very nice man but can’t stop thinking about him and her the other and feel sick pretty much 24/7.

I am 11 days no contact but I cry most days, can’t get them out of my head, why did he do it to me, I never feel good enough, I hate the way I look….whats the point anymore