u/dalinfetland

I am a person that have struggled with relationships since the beginning I was rejected millions of times before getting a boyfriend and that made me have a shelf over me once I started actually having serious partners, now my problem is that when I leave them at the moment I have to be this strong, independent, heartless woman, but when time passes by guilt starts to consume me and I know is because I never treated them like what they were (my partners) they’d became like strangers to me and I started acting like nothing that we went through ever happened being insensitive with my wording and my actions.
I’ve seen a lot of posts lately that reassure me. How this works now and all I have to say is people, I know it’s sucks to be the one with the heartbroken but when we have to do it let’s be more reasonable, sensitives and actually treat them like somebody we used to love it is not a competition of who is stronger heal yourself and be kind helping others on their healing process, because that shit stays with you.

I wish I had everything in order to gave you the life that you deserve to be with you with no worries in the world, to loveyou, care for you, and do our favorite things together. I miss you so much but I know if I reach out right now I would only hurt you, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I have to step back and leave you alone, I think about you all the time wishing and praying that you are doing good, I even hope you are truly done with me it would satisfied me knowing that you are better even if it breaks my heart. We belong together MOH…

F(28) Since the very first boyfriend I’ve had issues with this. At first our sexual life is really active we both enjoy it a bunch but later on just like a few months later I literally feel repulsed just by the idea of doing it with them and obviously my relationship start getting worst after that, I had boyfriend that comprehend must of the time and they respect whenever I don’t want it. But I just want to know what is my problem. I also have to admit that I get to know them better and better with time and most of the times our routine becomes more like me taking care of them and I get tired of it but it cannot be real that I loose sexual interest on every partner I have. Does this happens to somebody else?

I want to tell a dream I had a few years ago but it has always been in my mind it might not make sense a 100% but it’s what I remember.
It starts with a small family the mom, son and the dad, established at a mansion in the middle of the woods. For I got to see the dad was never there and obviously they were rich the kid (17-18years) would always come from school with a nice private school uniform directly to his room, his mom would offer him some food but he would reject it every time and go to the room. Mom and dad would have conversation on what to do about hime because he was not only doing bad at school, he would always be rude to them and liked I said always in his room. (There was also a helper at the house a cleaning lady) What I remember about the dream was that when the kid was at school the mom and the cleaning lady would take some food to the kids bathroom so casually, because there was a girl (what appears like to be a classmate of the son) in there, she was hanging from the shower ceiling (big bathroom pretty modern with black a gray colors) she was hanging from her back flesh and some hooks on the ceiling, what it looked like was like the kid when in there every time he was at home and would torture her in different ways. When either of them would come in there she wouldn’t even scream or ask for help so it looked liked she had been there for a while and the family was okey with it.
That dream was on third person like I was watching a movie but pretty vivid and real, this kind of dreams stay with me for ever that’s why I remember most of it and sometimes I think this would be good enough gor a movie or a show, what you guys think?