u/pink111angel

i have a track record of being toxic situations because I tend to look at the good in people. I’m learning to go with my gut more and to view the red flags as who they are rather than the green flags they create to mask it.

I have a friend who seem supportive granted only when I’m going through a tough time because when I’m going through positive times this friend insults me or jabs me. i’ve noticed in the past year that all this friend does is insult me or say passive aggressive comments and I noticed my self self-esteem plummeting the more I talk to this friend. I was upset over a certain dating situations, and I learned to stop confiding in her for those because she would make it worse for me and then one day I decided to confide in her because I miss talking to my best friend in that manner and her first comment is well it seems like you’re not his favorite anymore and you’re not his dream girl that’s why he did this to you.

Every time I had a dating problem, she would say it’s because I’m not their dream woman. It’s because they don’t respect me and then she also made comments about race. I don’t want to disclose my race, but I am a minority and she made a comment that if I was a different self respecting ‘insert race’ woman this guy would’ve never treated me this way. That’s when I realized that my best friend views me as below her because of my race. She made this comment multiple times and each time I said oh you’re making this a race issue now and she was like no no of course not. She’s not used to me calling her out on these comments.

At one point, she was also trying to use me for a financial gain, telling me that I should rent out a portion of her apartment for higher rent than what she is currently paying, even though I was getting a fourth of the space. She also was trying to make us roommates and use my money to get a nicer apartment and make it all about her and I was not having it.

I got into a big fight with a long, best friend and I realized that relationship was ending and I was very upset that day, but I still drove 2 1/2 hours to see her and she decides to fight with me that day saying she’s frustrated that I don’t sleepover when she wants me to sleep over then I go to her place and at 3 AM I said I’m very tired. Can I sleep here? and she says oh well my relatives gonna get mad because your car is in the parking lot and I told her I’m so tired that I could drive into the tree right now and she still kept hounding me that I should just go home. i put ice cubes on my eyes and left.

I’ve realized that she was always competing with me always one upping me and always jabbing me to make me feel bad about myself, but then she covers it up by being there for me when I need someone to talk to and by doing grandiose gestures for certain occasions. There has been distance now and I feel better about myself with it because I don’t have someone in my ear telling me that no one respects me and no one sees me as their dream woman and XY and Z.

I guess I just need some validation that this is not my friend. I tend to look at the good people and then gaslight myself into thinking. Maybe I’m in the wrong here but truly I’ve never said anything negative towards her and I’ve always been positive and supportive for her. When she started dating again, she said oh it looks like I’m going on dates now and you’re not. You’re not going on a date tonight I am. I’m the busy one with dates now. Just so odd because I don’t need to go on a date every day to feel good about myself so why would I care about that?

She had me go meet her boyfriend and I ask her what jacket I should wear because I didn’t know what the temperature was outside and she told me well. It’s not like there’s anyone that you’re trying to impress there right?

I think it’s just been built up resentment and I’ve been trying to stop being friends with her for a while after noticing things and I’m just at the point where I’m sitting here so mad that I’ve let someone manipulate me with words and big gestures like oh I love you so much blah blah blah buys me something even though I say I don’t want anything because I don’t really like accepting things from people it kind of makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want people to put themselves in a scenario where they’re tight on money because of me.

But again, I don’t know. I just feel like she was never my friend and she kind of thrives when I’m unhappy. She also asked me if I thought she was a narcissist and she said sometimes she wonders if she is one. I did notice i got weird gut feelings around her when we hung out like she was kind of a sociopath so I don’t know. I just think I need some validation here. there much more to this…. Thanks.

i have a track record of being toxic situations because I tend to look at the good in people. I’m learning to go with my gut more and to view the red flags as who they are rather than the green flags they create to mask it.

I have a friend who seem supportive granted only when I’m going through a tough time because when I’m going through positive times this friend insults me or jabs me. i’ve noticed in the past year that all this friend does is insult me or say passive aggressive comments and I noticed my self self-esteem plummeting the more I talk to this friend. I was upset over a certain dating situations, and I learned to stop confiding in her for those because she would make it worse for me and then one day I decided to confide in her because I miss talking to my best friend in that manner and her first comment is well it seems like you’re not his favorite anymore and you’re not his dream girl that’s why he did this to you.

Every time I had a dating problem, she would say it’s because I’m not their dream woman. It’s because they don’t respect me and then she also made comments about race. I don’t want to disclose my race, but I am a minority and she made a comment that if I was a different self respecting ‘insert race’ woman this guy would’ve never treated me this way. That’s when I realized that my best friend views me as below her because of my race. She made this comment multiple times and each time I said oh you’re making this a race issue now and she was like no no of course not. She’s not used to me calling her out on these comments.

At one point, she was also trying to use me for a financial gain, telling me that I should rent out a portion of her apartment for higher rent than what she is currently paying, even though I was getting a fourth of the space. She also was trying to make us roommates and use my money to get a nicer apartment and make it all about her and I was not having it.

I got into a big fight with a long, best friend and I realized that relationship was ending and I was very upset that day, but I still drove 2 1/2 hours to see her and she decides to fight with me that day saying she’s frustrated that I don’t sleepover when she wants me to sleep over then I go to her place and at 3 AM I said I’m very tired. Can I sleep here? and she says oh well my relatives gonna get mad because your car is in the parking lot and I told her I’m so tired that I could drive into the tree right now and she still kept hounding me that I should just go home. i put ice cubes on my eyes and left.

I’ve realized that she was always competing with me always one upping me and always jabbing me to make me feel bad about myself, but then she covers it up by being there for me when I need someone to talk to and by doing grandiose gestures for certain occasions. There has been distance now and I feel better about myself with it because I don’t have someone in my ear telling me that no one respects me and no one sees me as their dream woman and XY and Z.

I guess I just need some validation that this is not my friend. I tend to look at the good people and then gaslight myself into thinking. Maybe I’m in the wrong here but truly I’ve never said anything negative towards her and I’ve always been positive and supportive for her. When she started dating again, she said oh it looks like I’m going on dates now and you’re not. You’re not going on a date tonight I am. I’m the busy one with dates now. Just so odd because I don’t need to go on a date every day to feel good about myself so why would I care about that?

She had me go meet her boyfriend and I ask her what jacket I should wear because I didn’t know what the temperature was outside and she told me well. It’s not like there’s anyone that you’re trying to impress there right?

I think it’s just been built up resentment and I’ve been trying to stop being friends with her for a while after noticing things and I’m just at the point where I’m sitting here so mad that I’ve let someone manipulate me with words and big gestures like oh I love you so much blah blah blah buys me something even though I say I don’t want anything because I don’t really like accepting things from people it kind of makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want people to put themselves in a scenario where they’re tight on money because of me.

But again, I don’t know. I just feel like she was never my friend and she kind of thrives when I’m unhappy. She also asked me if I thought she was a narcissist and she said sometimes she wonders if she is one. I did notice i got weird gut feelings around her when we hung out like she was kind of a sociopath so I don’t know. I just think I need some validation here. there much more to this…. Thanks.