r/salmacian

Hey, so I'm a transman married to a cisman. I've only been on T for a month now, but I've wanted phallo for 15+ years. The more I look into options I'm really wanting to keep my front hole but get urethral lengthening. I'm a bit worried about the risk of complications though, and even finding a surgeon who offers it where I live, which is BC Canada.

I enjoy penetration but really dislike anal. I've tried to enjoy it but it just isn't for me. I know if I don't keep my front hole that for my husbands benefit I would just have to suck it up and do it (not in an abusive way, it's important to me that he's happy in our sex life.) He is bi/omni, prefers women. So my transition has been a bit difficult for him to come to terms with, but he is accepting and supportive of me, still attracted to me and okay with me getting phallo even though it isn't his preference. Our sex life is great and I don't want to lose that.

Urethral lengthening is important to me for gender affirmation and overall comfort in public bathrooms. I'm just worried about choosing it and things not working out in the long run and having a bunch of complications. I'm not sure if I should just choose one or the other and really struggling to make a choice. I'll be getting set up with a surgeon soon and I'll need to be able to tell our trans health authority what I want so they can give me a referral to the right place (again I'm not even sure of surgeon availability that offers what I truly want.)

I guess I'm just looking for others opinions or stories, good or bad, that didn't have a vaginectomy but had urethral lengthening.

Edited to add for clarification - This isn't just for my husband. This is what I want in a perfect world for myself. I do just also worry about him and our sex life if I weren't able to go through with it, or find the risks aren't worth it. He has never expressed for me to keep my vagina, and has said we will figure it out if I choose not to. I want to keep it for me, but also for him but not because he 'needs' me to. I enjoy penetration and don't want to lose that with my husband, but just really dislike anal. We have been married for 11 years and have 4 children so I do weigh him into major decisions. Yes it's ultimately for me, but I can't pretend like I don't care about him in it all too. I wouldn't decide to keep my vagina solely for his benefit though. If I think the risks aren't worth it, I will likely forgo UL because that's what I want. I can live with that decision if I have to, I'd just prefer not to as STP is important to me.

Today I met with Dr. Kirtishri Mishra (Metro Health in Parma) and mentioned that I would want to have a salmacian surgery if at all possible.

I wasn't expecting him to say that he offered it.

Not only can i keep my front hole, but I can have UL lengthening as well.

He said that they offered this surgery, and have had success with a few patients already.

I'm just really happy that i don't have to choose between two options that I really want, and i can have my dream surgery!

We're going to start with meta and see how im feeling about it before we pursue phalloplasty.

I’m an afab nonbinary Demi man. I want hormones and have even been dreaming of the surgery but I am scared I’m not valid enough. I feel connected to womanhood as I was forced into skirts and dresses until I was 19 years old. I was forced into this because of a minority religion and as a result, i felt evil for feeling like I was in the LGBTQ community. Anyway, I feel mostly woman internally but I also feel a sliver of a male soul slowly growing again inside my spirit. Last year, I had raging dysphoria for male characteristics, feelings and even my sense of internal self was a man. I go to a day program, hang out with a lot of guys and am relearning how to feel my manhood again. However, I feel like it’s been so long that my male side is going to be dormant forever. I don’t know how to reawaken my soul. I know deep way down I’m not entirely a woman but I feel like the man inside of me is drowning because of me not allowing it to come out for so long. I am not going to pursue hormones or surgery until I figure shit out. Does anyone have advice for me?

Hello! Asked this question on the discord, but thought more visibility might help bring more perspectives. I recently had my consultation with Dr. DeLeon at the Crane Center and I’m hoping someone here might help me better understand something she spoke about.

We’re planning on doing delayed alt phallo, clitoral burial/hookup, urethral lengthening, no vaginectomy, and no scrotoplasty. She seems very confident in this but asked what I would like her to ‘do’ with my labia majora.

As I can best understand, she needs to close the top of the labia majora to support the ul extension made from the labia minora. She told me she could either ‘fuse the seam’ or ‘flatten’ them into a male-like perineum.

I think I’m just having a difficult time visualizing what she means. From top to bottom I believe I will have the phallus, the fused or flattened labia majora, and then my natal opening.

Has anyone gotten additional info or is willing to share if they’ve been presented with this choice?

I live in a pretty remote area where there aren't a lot of openly LGBTQ+ people. I regularly travel to larger cities nearby with larger communities but I find myself feeling like I'm outside looking in.

I want people to know who I am and know/ feel like I belong in LGBTQ+ spaces but I find myself feeling disconnected and left out. I am AFAB and present fairly feminine so I understand the misinterpretation.

Does anyone else struggle with this or have any advice on how to feel more connected to the LGBTQ+/ Salmacian community?

I have a consultation next month (canada if it matters) and I know i want preserve my vagina, if anyone has any results theyd be willing to share (either mitoid or phallo) id love to find more examples/options that might sway my decision.