Transman looking to get phallo without vaginectomy with urethral lengthening.
Hey, so I'm a transman married to a cisman. I've only been on T for a month now, but I've wanted phallo for 15+ years. The more I look into options I'm really wanting to keep my front hole but get urethral lengthening. I'm a bit worried about the risk of complications though, and even finding a surgeon who offers it where I live, which is BC Canada.
I enjoy penetration but really dislike anal. I've tried to enjoy it but it just isn't for me. I know if I don't keep my front hole that for my husbands benefit I would just have to suck it up and do it (not in an abusive way, it's important to me that he's happy in our sex life.) He is bi/omni, prefers women. So my transition has been a bit difficult for him to come to terms with, but he is accepting and supportive of me, still attracted to me and okay with me getting phallo even though it isn't his preference. Our sex life is great and I don't want to lose that.
Urethral lengthening is important to me for gender affirmation and overall comfort in public bathrooms. I'm just worried about choosing it and things not working out in the long run and having a bunch of complications. I'm not sure if I should just choose one or the other and really struggling to make a choice. I'll be getting set up with a surgeon soon and I'll need to be able to tell our trans health authority what I want so they can give me a referral to the right place (again I'm not even sure of surgeon availability that offers what I truly want.)
I guess I'm just looking for others opinions or stories, good or bad, that didn't have a vaginectomy but had urethral lengthening.
Edited to add for clarification - This isn't just for my husband. This is what I want in a perfect world for myself. I do just also worry about him and our sex life if I weren't able to go through with it, or find the risks aren't worth it. He has never expressed for me to keep my vagina, and has said we will figure it out if I choose not to. I want to keep it for me, but also for him but not because he 'needs' me to. I enjoy penetration and don't want to lose that with my husband, but just really dislike anal. We have been married for 11 years and have 4 children so I do weigh him into major decisions. Yes it's ultimately for me, but I can't pretend like I don't care about him in it all too. I wouldn't decide to keep my vagina solely for his benefit though. If I think the risks aren't worth it, I will likely forgo UL because that's what I want. I can live with that decision if I have to, I'd just prefer not to as STP is important to me.