r/parentsofteens

Hello everyone!

In August I will be on a week long cruise. My cat will be 10 months at that point in time. He is on a schedule where he eats 4 times a day so we want someone to stay with him at home to follow his schedule. My cousin is 13. She already stays home with her siblings while her mom works at night. She also stayed at home while her mom went out of town. We live in a small town so safety is not too much of an issue; we are all around the corner if she needs anyone. She is responsible so that is why we are potentially trusting her to take care of the pets (Dog and Cat).

She wouldn’t have to be at the house 24/7, but it would be convenient for her to stay so her mom/grandma won’t have to shuttle her back and forth to the house at feeding times.

On one hand, I know she could handle it because she is responsible. On another hand, she is a teenager and 13. Any thoughts or opinions would be greatly appreciated!

P.S., I am not a parent so not sure if 13 is a good age for this kind of responsibility. That is why I am looking for opinions lol.

P.P.S, If she stays at the house she will be paid and all her favorite foods filled in the house.

Can anyone help with ideas to communicate with my teenagers when they are in their rooms on their earphones. I feel like a terrible person every evening at dinner. By the time I got their attention to tell them that dinner is ready I've screamed at the top of my lungs just to get their attention.

15 yo girl is unwilling to help much at home. How do you convince them? I am sick of this toddler attitude. Apparently none of her classmates do chores lol😂 so why should she? Ok, she cleas her room and maybe washes up once a week. Also, washes the blender after using it. I still have to remind her though. Anything extra is like nope. Why are they so selfish?

How far would you let your 14 year old daughter walk by herself?

I ask bec I’ve been letting my daughter walk a mile to the local shopping center. She usually buys some snacks and walks back home. Occasionally her 11 year old brother goes with her.

To get to the shopping center she passes a playground, baseball field, houses, etc. Theres also a wooded area, which I tell her to avoid.

She has her phone with her obviously and texts throughout her walk and of course the phone has a tracker.

I know that one of her friends parents is extremely judgmental towards other parents who give their kids freedom. This is an extreme family though that allows absolutely no freedom at all for their kids.

What do you think…am I giving too much freedom?

I'm looking for opinions about a vacation issue with our 18 year old daughter and her 18 year old boyfriend, both about to be HS graduates. Both are going to college (separate schools hours apart) on full or nearly full athletic/academic scholarships. DD and boyfriend have been together for 3.5 years with one 5 day breakup about 6 months ago.

Boyfriend has taken 4 week long vacations with out family in the past 2 years, all requiring flights and one to an international destination with a long flight. Suddenly this yeatr, his parents have said he is "no longer allowed to go on trips with our" because they "always foundd the idea to be strange." She is not to ask if he can travel with her "for the next 1 or 2 years" when his parents decide "that their relationship seems good." The major issue that caused the breakup was jealous behavior by him that his parents did not know about. They were made aware of the multiple scenarios when this conversation occurred with her, the boyfriend, his parents and myself. As her parents, we feel like they are punishing her for the very brief breakup. They worked out the issues and it was like a wakeup call for him that their relationship can't survive if he is being so jealous. Their relationship is now better than ever, as they both told his parents and he has actually been working with their high school counselor on his insecurity issues so he really did take it heart.

We, as her parents, have told her that we both traveled extensively as college students. Trips to Europe with our friends, spring break beach trips, etc. We see this as the time in her life that we need to offer guidance, make sure she is safe, but that if she is paying for the trip or her boyfriend is, we can't really tell her she cant go. And they arent even asking to take a trip by themselves. She just wanted to be included on one of his family vacations or for him to come with us. This is important to her because she knows that their relationship is going to be totally different once they are at separate colleges, 3 hours apart and not able to see each other often. They are currently used to seeing each other daily in HS. She just wanted to be able to have a fun memory with him and get some time together when they actually have time available this summer As it stands now, due to his athletic commitment to his new college and his vacations with his family, they will be apart a full 7 weeks this summer before they each move.

Just checking to see if she is being irrational by being upset by this or if we, as her parents, are wrong in thinking this is strange. She is top of her graduating class, very independent going to an accelerated 3+2 Physician Assistant program so she will also be very busy during her time at college.

Does anyone have any recommendations for a template for cell phone rules? If anyone can point me to a favorite parenting resource specifically regarding phones, I’d be so appreciative!

Daughter not eating

My daughter (10 turning 11) hasn't been eating much everyday. This started mid-last year but wasn't as bad as it is now. Every school weekday my daughter doesn't eat breakfast and on an off day she'll eat her first meal at 3pm then eat fries at like 10pm. Some days consist of a few snacks like crackers and single hotdogs only.

A little less than 2 years ago she was 4'11 and 95-97 pounds and now grew a bit but is 90 pounds when last checked.

I've seen her track what she eats in her diary sometimes. She also says she's very cold in less than 80 degree weather and always wears a huge hoodie everywhere.

How do you manage to keep your adhd kid on top of their work but also not feel like you are CONSTANTLY reminding them?

I’m so stressed about my sons missing work and grades that sometimes I feel like I’m the one in school constantly reminding him. If I don’t constantly remind him, then he just doesn’t do his work. If I do remind him he gets mad and says I’m stressing him out.

I went a couple weeks without bothering him and he is now failing two classes and is so far behind he is overwhelmed trying to catch up.

I feel like I could cry because I have so much stuff to do (at work and with my other kids) and dealing with missing work and homework is really adding to my stress.

My daughter is currently finishing 8th grade and moving on to high school and is very athletic. She has swam competitively for 4 years at our local team and competes at USA meets. She is not the best on her team but is still pretty good. She’s not sure if she loves it and wants to try other sports. She is considering trying out for lacrosse, volleyball, track, and swim. My other daughter is doing competitive dance at a studio we got recommended by some friends. After my daughter started watching her sister (also a couple of her friends attend that dance studio) she has gained interest in doing dance. She did ballet and tap when she was a lot younger and quit because she didn’t enjoy it. What should she do, as the high school has a dance program but my daughter doesn’t want to sacrifice all her swimming skills and friends.

Hi everyone, this seems to be an ongoing debate so I’m going to ask: how much is too much? I bought the large jug of OJ on Friday, I got home Sunday late afternoon and it was all gone. No one else drank it but the 2 teen s (f14) here on the weekend. I was a bit surprised, turns out they drink it all the time at mom’s house, plus Gatorade!! Not Gatorade zero, regular Gatorade. They don’t do any sports and are not super active, so idk why Gatorade.
How much is too much?

Hi everyone. I am looking for some advice. My 17 year old son had a very bad breakup about a month ago with his first love. They had been having issues and then broke up and her and her friends posted some nasty accusations about him on instagram too. This caused a lot of trauma and him dealing with major depression and suicidal thoughts. We have him in therapy and things are very slowly getting better but he is still so obsessed with her and wants her back so badly that it consumes him. Now she is getting a hold of him and asking him to come see her and talk to and comfort her because she doesn’t have anyone else. He wants to see her and is wanting to try to reconnect and get back together with her and I am at such a loss. She literally tried to ruin his life and he was lucky nothing major happened due to her actions but he is so delusional and desperate for her. We don’t know what to do, I can’t even be in the same room as that girl, what am I supposed to do if they start dating again? We have told him she isn’t allowed in our home and the he starts talking about running away with her (not really possible but the fact that is where his mind goes is wild) My husband wants to forbid him from seeing her but that seems like a disaster waiting to happen too. If they get back together I just know drama will happen again and it will ruin his mental health. It seems like no good option and we lose him somehow either way. I feel so lost with this scenario and can’t believe this is happening. Any advice or thoughts are appreciated.