I'm looking for opinions about a vacation issue with our 18 year old daughter and her 18 year old boyfriend, both about to be HS graduates. Both are going to college (separate schools hours apart) on full or nearly full athletic/academic scholarships. DD and boyfriend have been together for 3.5 years with one 5 day breakup about 6 months ago.
Boyfriend has taken 4 week long vacations with out family in the past 2 years, all requiring flights and one to an international destination with a long flight. Suddenly this yeatr, his parents have said he is "no longer allowed to go on trips with our" because they "always foundd the idea to be strange." She is not to ask if he can travel with her "for the next 1 or 2 years" when his parents decide "that their relationship seems good." The major issue that caused the breakup was jealous behavior by him that his parents did not know about. They were made aware of the multiple scenarios when this conversation occurred with her, the boyfriend, his parents and myself. As her parents, we feel like they are punishing her for the very brief breakup. They worked out the issues and it was like a wakeup call for him that their relationship can't survive if he is being so jealous. Their relationship is now better than ever, as they both told his parents and he has actually been working with their high school counselor on his insecurity issues so he really did take it heart.
We, as her parents, have told her that we both traveled extensively as college students. Trips to Europe with our friends, spring break beach trips, etc. We see this as the time in her life that we need to offer guidance, make sure she is safe, but that if she is paying for the trip or her boyfriend is, we can't really tell her she cant go. And they arent even asking to take a trip by themselves. She just wanted to be included on one of his family vacations or for him to come with us. This is important to her because she knows that their relationship is going to be totally different once they are at separate colleges, 3 hours apart and not able to see each other often. They are currently used to seeing each other daily in HS. She just wanted to be able to have a fun memory with him and get some time together when they actually have time available this summer As it stands now, due to his athletic commitment to his new college and his vacations with his family, they will be apart a full 7 weeks this summer before they each move.
Just checking to see if she is being irrational by being upset by this or if we, as her parents, are wrong in thinking this is strange. She is top of her graduating class, very independent going to an accelerated 3+2 Physician Assistant program so she will also be very busy during her time at college.