r/parentalcontrols

When kids find ways break screen time limits – What to do, parents here must read!

I thought a paid parental control tool was strict enough, but my child (12) may be on another level. Last week, I noticed his screen time was "zero" on FlashGet Kids dashboard, yet he was clearly on Discord at 1 AM.

The main bypass methods I learned online:

Changing System Time: manually shifted the clock back to "daylight" hours.

Using Secure Folder: On Android, hide apps in the encrypted folder where basic controls can't reach them.

Factory resetting an old phone or using a secret phone.

Believe me, I can even find these steps, and children can do it too. No procedure is foolproof.

How to fix that issue? The approaches I'm about to share are neither violent nor about forcefully tightening anything, technically.

  • Stay calm and talk first, understand why your child felt the need to bypass the limits, for what online activities.
  • Instead of just saying “No,” explain that screen limits help with sleep, focus, or even just keeping a healthy balance.
  • Adjust the rules if needed. If they’re constantly finding workarounds or have conflicts, maybe the limits are too strict. Know your child's needs, mature level, self-management ability.
  • Sure, on the technical side, you should make sure parental controls are fully updated and synced, necessary permissions are enabled. Make good use of customer support services; you paid for it, you can contact the team directly with any technical questions.

I’m open to suggestions, so far this setup is holding up.

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u/Perfect_Steak_5148 — 3 days ago
▲ 26 r/parentalcontrols+1 crossposts

Why was rule 7 added?

Like no kidding why was it? Cant we enjoy our lives again with some bypasses? Like can a mod answear me? I know its a safety rule so you are safe and dont blow up your phone but still, we want freedom bru..

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u/furry-locker — 4 days ago

What actually worked when we tried to reduce screen time for our 4-year-old?

We reached a point where the phone or TV was the first thing our child asked for. Taking away completely just led to meltdowns.

What helped was not removing screens, but replacing the default.

A few things that worked:

  • Toys that keep hands busy
  • Simple musical toys
  • Puzzles and blocks
  • Keeping only a few toys out at a time

Nothing fancy. Just enough to keep them engaged so screens weren’t the automatic choice anymore.

We also started using Screen Earn, which helped shift screen time from something they expect to something they earn through chores and simple tasks. That change alone made screens way less of a battle.

Would love to hear what worked for others.

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u/socialhunt-95 — 1 day ago

A word to the parents who read this sub

PLEASE STOP INSPECTING YOUR TEENS PHONES AND TECHNOLOGY!!
If they aren’t telling you something, there must be a reason, respect that.
I almost got into a close call where my parents almost found I was bi potentially years too early.
Thanks for caring enough to read this far!
u/Global-Fact7752 is not welcome to comment here by the way.

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u/Practical-Vast5714 — 9 days ago

Was I right to block discord?

Hello!
I just want to say first that I am an older sibling in charge of my brother's internet safety. My parents asked me to do this because they believe I know more about internet safety and parental controls.

He (preteen) has quite a history of bad internet safety. He appears not to see the importance of good safety practices or digital wellbeing/hygiene. I saw him on a discord chat room today and decided to block his access to it. I really try not to dig too deep into what he's doing but seeing him on discord worried me.

I feel a little bad for limiting his access to it, but I truly do not think that discord is a safe place for him, having used it myself. Was I right to block it?

Thanks

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u/Cat_cant_think — 4 days ago

What to actually do with family link? Help needed plz

Hii! I never had family link or parental controls myself, but my girlfriend does, she turns 18 in a few months, still has family link and her parents said that they wont enable her phone ever -- she has to buy herself a new one if she wants to get rid of it. She told me she could delete her google account and stuff but then would lose everything on the phone, so she doesnt wants to. The problem with buying a new phone is that its not exactly affordable for any of us now since we pay for our medical expenses ourselves and arent really financially supported by parents outside stuff like food, while still being in school.

Soo i wanted to ask is there a way to disable it from a device??? Idk contacting the support or whatever? Thanks in advance!

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u/Independent_Emu420 — 4 hours ago

How parental controls ruined my life growing up !!TW!! Mentions of @bu$3

Hi I’m 19f and live on my own now with my own devices but I would like to share my story.

When I was 13 I got my first phone and my mom immediately put controls on it. At first I didn’t think much of it because I was struggling with mental health so I would understand why. I started talking to my friends about my mental health and apparently my mom could read all my messages. She barged into my room one night screaming at me saying I had no reason to feel like I did, and to stop making her sound like a bad mom. It got to the point I couldn’t ask people for help or I would get yelled at. By the time I was 16 my phone was still locked at 8:30 pm. I was tired of not being able to talk about my problems and I felt stuck. I ended up getting a second phone and kept it hidden, made all new accounts for everything, etc. at 17 my mom found out that I had a second phone and she was so mad that she didn’t have control and hit me. When I fought back she called the cops saying I attacked her and I got arrested. In the state I live in you can’t be charged as an adult at 17. I was in jail for two months before my grandmother bailed me out because my mom wasn’t going to. I was in there with murders waiting to go to prison. Parental controls genuinely fucked up my life as the kid who had them on their phone.

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u/whyami-here_ — 1 day ago

How do you catch warning signs of depression or dangerous behavior in your teen's messages without spying?

THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING TO ME. My 13 year old son has been more withdrawn lately and i am worried but I don't want to violate his trust by reading his texts. I want to be aware if something serious is going on like depression, self-harm talk or if someone's being predatory but I also need to respect his privacy

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u/reaperodinn — 3 days ago

Where’s the line?

As stated, where’s the line for parental controls?

When I was growing up, parental controls were simply not a thing in my household. I got my first, really unrestricted, access to the internet and all its vastness when I was around 6. By 8, I’d learned to navigate pretty well.

Some things were fine, sure. I watched mcyt and story time, pretty typical. But I fairly unintentionally discovered a lot of fps play throughs, gore/mature horror, and literal porn. That is, obviously, not ideal for someone that’s not yet a teenager.

So, my perspective is an extreme. No parental controls at all ages was not good for me. I’ve learned to safely internet, but it was through a real trial by fire. Couple thousand spent on therapy and I’m doing better, though.

However, when I was a teen I had a (several) mental health crises. Let’s just say my folks aren’t the most emotionally sensitive. I couldn’t (sometimes wouldn’t) talk to them. There are things about me related to that that they still don’t know. In that way, having free range to look for support online and via text was good.

So, give me your perspectives. Where’s the line?

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u/MouseyMason — 8 days ago

So I was reading Internet Matters and found out that Samsung smart fridges have parental controls too. Do you think they should have it?

Also, why did rule 7 get added? Is it because of Reddit admins?

View Poll

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u/MurkyWar2756 — 4 days ago

My son fights me on every screen time limit I set and finds workarounds constantly. I need something that actually works without me having to battle him every single day over his phone

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u/frannagel — 11 days ago

My parent said they wouldnt get bark

Today the internet started acting up so I went to check, after looking at it I saw a small box like thing I didnt recognize. I grabbed it inspected it and it had the words BARK on it idk how its been monitoring me, how long, what keywords it uses, but what I do know is that is not on my pc (Prob on my phone). I want to ask can it see my search history, Discord, Private info, etc because it was plugged into the wall near the router.

(edit i looked at it again and have came to the conclusion it might be just for my phone but if you actually know what it does please leave a comment)

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u/Itchy_Cup_4908 — 9 days ago
▲ 33 r/parentalcontrols+1 crossposts

I (23 F) have extremely controlling parents who believe religiously in patriarchy and that they need to control me until I’m passed off in marriage to a man. I have gone no contact and they’ve attempted to track and stalk me many times. I now know they are reading my texts messages because they know exactly what I text people. And not people who would tell them, they know about texts to people they don’t know. I’ve changed my Apple ID, passwords, etc. but they still are seeing them. How can I prevent this? When I was a kid they monitored my texts using a parental control app called bark, could they still be monitoring my texts this way? I have my own phone plan, my own phone and a new number but my Apple ID is the same. I have changed the password though. Please help! Is there somewhere I could go to get my phone checked for spyware?

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u/Awkward_Extent7429 — 10 days ago

How do I control porn in my house?

Hi parents, I'm a parent of two teenagers, one girl one boy and recently I've been suspecting that at least one of my kids is watching porn on their mobile phone. I'm obviously not thrilled and had a talk to them about it. However, I want to control my internet at home. Even tho we have 5G on our phones, the area we love in has very poor reception which means we all connect up to the WiFi when we're home. My question is it anyone knows of any devices or tools I can install so that I can monitor or block porn sites from being accessed on our WiFi? Thanks so much in advance.

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u/CosmicComi — 6 days ago
▲ 24 r/parentalcontrols+1 crossposts

Hi, I'm Kelly, a journalist. I'm writing a feature about parental-monitoring apps: Bark, Aura, Qustodio, Family Link, Life360, and similar. For credibility--my profile links to my published work. I'm particularly interested in hearing from those who have been surveilled (whether in the past, or ongoing) since this is so rarely covered, but I'd love to hear from anyone wishing to share their thoughts.

If you've ever been monitored using these apps, I'd love a ~30 minute interview, by phone, video, or whatever's easiest. Anonymity is always an option, and if you are under 18 I would need a quick email approval from your parents unless it is unsafe to do so--we could decide what works for you.

Some specific things I'm trying to understand:

-How you found out the app was there

-What it actually did (and didn't do)

-What you did about it (workarounds, conversations, anything)

-How it affected things between you and your family

If you're willing, please comment below or DM me.

Thanks!

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u/Broad-Top7114 — 11 days ago

I know that sounds shocking.
So, today i am fascinated by software and technology, someone who does stuff like installs Linux just for the fun of it. and there were 2 factors that lead up to that.

  1. Online school during COVID: I got a laptop and was permitted full access to it, I wasn’t that old, so I didn’t really understand the dangers of the internet, but I learned a lot about them, and how to avoid them, and that there’s a lot of cool software out there.
  2. Parental controls: naturally with this concept of my mind, having only an hour to explore is quite limiting, or that’s how I felt, I am now of the belief that parental controls are quite healthy if done correctly, but at the time, I only knew that they had to be terminated. I found dozens of exploits across iOS, Windows, Nintendo Switch, and more, and it also taught me a lot about software, how it works, and why it might not work.
  3. I don’t do this stuff much anymore, because my parents and I arranged a setup that we both like, and I’m able to work within it.
  4. But as I’m going into high school, I want to take courses to become a software engineer or game developer.
  5. Note: as I said above, working within your parental controls and NOT exploiting them is actually really healthy for you, and it teaches you about trust and relationships that don’t involve conflict (your parents), but this also helped me discover a part of me I didn’t see before.
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u/Practical-Vast5714 — 11 days ago

I'm 16 and have had content restrictions since I was T E N. I understand why I would have restrictions then because I will admit that I was a dumb asf kid who was curious about the hub and wanted a free bike. I have grown quite a few brain cells since. I'm gong to college this August, COLLEGE, and I still have restrictions. My safari is hidden (so I can't even check my student portal to see any updates, specifically housing updates), I have a single hour of game time, and I can't add any contacts without the screen time password.

On my old phone (iPhone 11) I found that restarting my phone over and over allowed me to bypass time restrictions on my games but since I now have a brand new iPhone that doesn't work. I just want more time on my games. My mom gets really pissy about typing in my password (or even when I talk to her about anything, I'm thoroughly convinced she's tired of having me as a kid despite me doing everything I can to be a responsible adult)

I also fine it funny that she will gladly drop me off at the zoo for 9 hours a day and trust that I'll stay there but refuses to let me do my wordle. (I enjoy the zoo, I'm a docent there and get to do so many cool things and I never want to leave when I am there so it does make sense that she allows it. Off topic, if anyone would like to see some animal photos I have a Google drive FULL of them!)

Anyways.. Is there any way that I can get more time on my games without using a screen time code? I'm willing to share more information if needed :) any and all advice is much appreciated, thanks!

edit: Proof that I go outside for anyone who is concerned! Creek critters (Google drive photo!)

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u/Comfortable_Hotel709 — 13 days ago