u/MouseyMason

I just had a bit of a mini-breakthrough about gender and expression a couple of days ago and I’ve kind of just been riding the high since.

I was complaining about dysphoria and whatnot with a friend, and we had a long, genuine talk about why I get dysphoric about some things (generally because it reminded me of femininity, and I’m not a huge fan of appearing too feminine), and we got into traditional gender roles and what is actually feminine and masculine and androgynous and why it might matter. I was raised more conservatively, so I have this nagging voice that’s always been pretty traditional about this kind of thing.

But the voice just went…quiet afterwards. I had this realization that it doesn’t matter. The only things that are feminine on me are the ones that I decide are feminine, and acting/looking traditionally feminine doesn’t have to make me fem simply because I said so.

Makeup? Nah, the manly man can wear that. Dresses? But a piece of pretty cloth. Jewelry? Shiny shenanigans. None of it really matters to anything unless I decide it does. Just vibes. Just here. I don’t have to do any song and dance to prove I’m man enough to be considered trans (or unfeminine enough to not be considered a cis woman). I’m good enough because I said so, and I’m transmasc because I said so, not some higher power or social order.

Idk. It just feels really freeing. I still have days where I want to look more androgynous or traditionally masculine, but I feel like the choices I make in my appearance are so much more me now, not dictated by “the proper way” or “how things are.” I pulled out some old makeup and put on a perhaps excessive amount of eyeshadow and did some basic contour. I just felt so pretty, and it’s the first time I’ve been able to use makeup without feeling gross or repulsed by myself.

I just wanted to tell someone, I guess. Life’s been stressful lately, so this has been a nice breath of fresh air for me. I needed a win, lol.

I wish all of you a healthy dose of euphoria as well, however that may manifest <3.

As stated, where’s the line for parental controls?

When I was growing up, parental controls were simply not a thing in my household. I got my first, really unrestricted, access to the internet and all its vastness when I was around 6. By 8, I’d learned to navigate pretty well.

Some things were fine, sure. I watched mcyt and story time, pretty typical. But I fairly unintentionally discovered a lot of fps play throughs, gore/mature horror, and literal porn. That is, obviously, not ideal for someone that’s not yet a teenager.

So, my perspective is an extreme. No parental controls at all ages was not good for me. I’ve learned to safely internet, but it was through a real trial by fire. Couple thousand spent on therapy and I’m doing better, though.

However, when I was a teen I had a (several) mental health crises. Let’s just say my folks aren’t the most emotionally sensitive. I couldn’t (sometimes wouldn’t) talk to them. There are things about me related to that that they still don’t know. In that way, having free range to look for support online and via text was good.

So, give me your perspectives. Where’s the line?