r/nursing

Basically I snapped at a terrible patient in front of a new support staff person, and instead of reporting me to management, they went straight to HR. The circumstances were not great, but a combination of short staffing, large ratio ED holds (I’m talking 48-72 hours down here), complete dependence like MULTIPLE TOTAL FEEDS, perpetual call bells, no techs, and finally my own weak ass pain d/t an injury that allowed me to be do my job but slowly and shittily. I tried asking for help, but everyone just rolled their eyes because on a normal day, I should’ve been able to handle the assignment.

ER culture is like “I won’t ask for help even when I’m downing because I don’t want to look weak, but when I do ask for help, everyone becomes David Goggins. Stay hard, you incompetent piece of shit. Go to outpatient procedural if you can’t run with the big dogs.”

And so you just grit your teeth and pretend this is healthy and that you ARE IN FACT a little weakling who can’t handle the sauce.

But I said some words in front of a stranger and now the healthier system I planned to stay with for my entire career will never hire me again. I got hired at this ED right out of nursing school and it was my top choice, I LOVED working there, loved my coworkers, loved my frequent fliers, loved the hospital. It felt like home. I was home.

I didn’t realize how much “being an ER nurse at this hospital” became part of my identity, so losing the job felt like losing myself. I have upcoming interviews elsewhere and I thankfully have options, but I am possibly more depressed than I’ve ever been in my life. I’ve experienced worse things, yet this feels like I’ll never smile again. I have two beautiful children and a decent life, but somehow my hope for the future is absent.

Wtf is this? Is it a nursing thing where we tie our job to our self esteem? Why does all seem lost? I feel like I don’t even want to do this anymore, like the pain isn’t even worth it for the amount of sacrifice you give this job. I LOVED doing what I did. Now I don’t even want to bother working so hard just to have it ripped from me by unfeeling corporate dickheads who will never consider how close I’ve come to ending it all.

This probably is not the first, nor will it be the last.

If “we” the owners of our Profession say, “NO-MORE” then, who will?

Ask yourself this question:

“Would I be ok to have someone other than a RN/LVN care and look out for me (my baby, child, SO, whomever) at the most critical time of my (or others) life?”

A wrongful death lawsuit filed in Connecticut alleges that a "fake ICU" setup—relying on remote, off-site physicians via video rather than on-site doctors—led to the preventable death of 26-year-old dental student Conor Hylton in August 2024. The lawsuit accuses Bridgeport Hospital (a Yale New Haven Health facility) of negligence in its care of Hylton, who suffered from severe pancreatitis and alcohol withdrawal.

Key Allegations in the "Fake ICU" Lawsuit:

No On-Site Doctor:

The ICU at the hospital's Milford campus was operated as a "tele-ICU," where no intensive care physician was physically present to monitor patients during overnight hours.

Remote Management & Death:

The assigned physician, Frances Demur, MD, never saw Hylton in person, instead managing his care and allegedly pronouncing him dead via a video screen on Aug. 15, 2024, after he became unresponsive.

Missed Emergency Warnings:

Despite Hylton showing worsening symptoms—including seizure-like activity, vomiting, and becoming unresponsive—the remote physician did not come to the hospital to examine him, according to the lawsuit.

Delayed Life-Saving Care:

The lawsuit claims that when Hylton needed emergency intubation, the provider called to perform it "did not know how to find the ICU," causing a 10-minute delay.

Policy Violations & Negligence:

The lawsuit claims the hospital's own policies required an on-site physician, and a 2025 investigation by the Connecticut Department of Public Health supported allegations that staff failed to properly monitor and communicate the patient's deteriorating condition.

Response from the Hospital:

Bridgeport Hospital stated it is aware of the lawsuit and is committed to "providing the safest and highest quality of care possible," but declined to comment on pending litigation. The hospital has defended its tele-health model, claiming it pairs "virtual monitoring with expert bedside teams to enhance patient care".

The family of Conor Hylton, who was a student at the UConn School of Dental Medicine, is seeking unspecified damages.

Almost quit right there on the spot lol. What’s the most disgusting thing that’s happened to you? I’d say that’s in my top 5 for me.

started as a new grad doing night shift and it RUINED my life. Yes, days are chaotic- but night shift drove me into depression and ruined my personal life

I thought giving birth at home would be cool until I started working in NICU three years ago.

Now if I ever want children, I made a vow to myself to give birth in a hospital where there is a Level 3 NICU. And I don’t mind having a midwife but there must be an OB GYN available.

And no students delivering the baby. They can assist but that’s all (I’ve heard horror stories of students not recognizing respiratory distress upon birth).

I’m 3 months off orientation in the Trauma ICU at a L1 trauma center.

I recently had lots of help settling a complex poly-trauma after a stat head CT at 0300 (9 drips, 2x chest tubes, ETT, etc). Our night shift crews are generally tight nit (sink or swim as a team type of energy), so I was extremely grateful for the extra hands.

PTs sedation and analgesia demands kept slowly creeping up over the next few hours, and got to the point where they were maxed on dex, prop, ketamine, and getting as many PRN pushes as I could give. Through all of that, still noncompliant with the vent, CPOT through the roof, and I can’t think of anything else to do for this poor person. For context, they had a serious history of IV drug use, so I just chalked it up to pain control management on our end, and the massive surgery they had the day prior.

Remember those 2 chest tubes? In the hustle of settling them, I didn’t catch that they were hooked up to suction, but that the suction was off. I missed this as the output was the same consistency, quality, and the volume was relatively unchanged. Even after looking at the multiple times throughout the night, I was blind to the obvious.

Change of shift, a resident came by and caught the mistake immediately. I gave report and left, came back the after a few days off, and was told that the suction helped him reach a much more reasonable level of comfort very quickly.

Pulled in by management today, and as soon as I heard the patient’s name, I knew immediately what it was about. The resident filled a safety report out, and deservingly so. I caused them pain. I could have given them a pneumo. I could have set their recovery back even further. I didn’t, thank god, but I am filled with an immense amount of anger, self doubt, and frustration.

Our job demands perfection, and I wasn’t in this moment, and I’m just really grateful that this person is okay.

I have no one in my personal life to relate to with work stuff. I’m a dude, and none of my friends can help with the weight of the job. So I’m just screaming into the void. Thanks for letting me vent.

Just got a bill for an intro session with a therapist for 200$! How are you supposed to work thru your problems when these people are making 4x what we are.

Let me preface this post by saying that I am aware that where I am today is the result of my own actions. I know that I made my own decisions which ultimately brought me where I am today. I have no one to blame but myself so if it sounds like I am trying to pass blame to someone else, know that I know that it is 100% only on me.

That being said, both my parents are nurses so growing up, that was kind of what they wanted me to be. There really felt like there was no other option. They always made it seem like the golden job. I love to eat/cook so I wanted to be a chef; they told me it’s too competitive. I wanted to be a teacher; they said it doesn’t pay enough and I “dont have the patience for it”. I wanted to be a lawyer; they said that the school is long and expensive. Any route I wanted to go, there was a reason not to do it. So growing up nursing kind of felt like what I HAD to do (I understand that this is not true, it’s just what it felt like) I am a huge people pleaser and love to see my parents proud of me so I could not stomach the thought of doing something that they wouldnt approve of.

I was always told nursing was the way to go because the schedule is nice, its very versatile, and once I get my degree, I could pretty much do what I wanted. All I had to do was “pass my classes”. Easier said than done for me. Classes were NOT a walk in the park and I barely scarped by.

Fast forward through nursing school (which was definitely not easy) and I thought I could get a good paying nursing job pretty easily. Hawaii for some reason, hates new grad nurses. They would prefer to spend their money on travel nurses rather than spending the time to train up the next generation of nurses. So I was told that I could get a job easy, but I was having a hard time doing that. I just about moved to the mainland just to get a job when I finally heard back from a hospital (bless the Lord) and worked on a medsurg unit for about 1.5 years which brings me to current.

I can not stand nursing. I don’t mean to sound cocky, but I do think that I am good at this job. I do see myself as a good nurse. I love the service part and keeping my patients safe and happy but the problem is the physical and mental toll it takes on me. It is so much and I just cant take it anymore. And I dont think its just bedside nursing. It feels like there is nothing that I would enjoy in the health care industry. I don’t know what else to do. Part of me feels like a failure for only being able to put up with it for 1.5 years but at the same time I just really cant. I’ve started developing health issues due to the increased stress of the job. (My resting heart rate is at 110 and sometimes for a full 12 hour shift my heart rate does not drop below 150-160 even when drinking no coffee or anything)

All this to say I really dont know what I want to do in my life. Waste my degree and quit nursing all together? Find something that isn’t bedside that I would enjoy? (This is hard here in hawaii because most RN jobs in hawaii require 2 years experience and I only have medsurg experience).. I’m truly at a loss. If you read all the way through God bless you and have a wonderful day. I’m just tired.

new lpn in ltc. we have 4 units that hold between 20-31 patients and usually have 4 nurse for both day and night shift. i noticed over the last few months if we are short on nights management or on call refuses to come in but on days they never work with 3 or less nurses. one night each nurse had 1 unit upstairs and 1 unit downstairs, this is about 45 patients each. some are just ltc, some are more rehab. some nights we are short techs/aides as well.

fresh on the job and last month one of the other new nurses told me she was scared of taking 2 units again and so did a few other even experienced nurses. well the following week she refused, told our DON she didnt feel safe and was fired. the union tried to get her job back but couldnt. evidently this has been going on for months.i refused one time and was told by my DON she was shocked i refused. i explained to her i didnt feel it was safe and also we were in our state window and I didnt want to be the nurse with 2 units on 2 separate floors if the state walked in. she told me she only staffs 4 nurses at night as a courtesy, its not typical. according to the nurses that have been there for years its always been 4 on days and 4 on nights except for when the building has to work short, so 4 is the standard.

the last month or so its like everytime i go to work almost someone is taking 2 units. in the last 14 days someone has taken 2 units 9 out of 14 days. I need my job and I actually like it. its not a bad building, we have our issues but i would like to stay. how do i raise this with my DON and advocate for us nurses and our patients? and is it legal for them to fire you for refusing an assignment thats unsafe? all see is protect your license so how do you do that and keep your job?

I get this from a lot of other nurses, even doctors. They think that if a patient is a DNR, it means, do not treat/prevent.

I do not understand how they are coming to that conclusion, surely schools are still teaching what a DNR/DNI order means?

Long story short, if they are a DNR, and a patient starts going down hill, you still have to treat them, and prevent things from getting worse.

If they are a DNR, you can still intubate them (unless they have a DNI order). A rapid response nurse I worked with during my most recent rapid response said that a DNR encompasses everything including intubation. That’s not necessarily true.

Me and my wife are both nurses and my wife works at a substance abuse rehab facility that utilizes both LPN and RNs to detox patients from a multitude of substances. It is a locked unit and patients cannot leave without being allowed.

She worked night shift and was just fired for not allowing an intoxicated young man on the unit who showed up in the middle of the night without any documentation nor being made aware he was coming.

Apparently the young man was a patient that comes during the day for meetings and was in some sort of program that she does not see on nights and was never trained on.

The admissions director was a past patient who graduated from the rehab program and was offered a job which is great for him but he has no qualifications nor formal education.

He got onto her saying she should have allowed him on the unit and told the technician that she should have let him in and gotten his BAC and allowed him to stay.

I have never once heard of this being a proper route of admission at any facility. It does not seem safe at all and sounds illegal.

There was no way to tell if this was an actual patient nor what substances he was using. He could have been a past patient who had a negative experience and wanted to cause harm or had a weapon.

She advised his parents who were with him to take him to the ER and get medically cleared before coming back during the day, which was the safest option at the time for the patient, herself, and her 26 patients, 10 of which were detoxing and required her attention.

Should this be reported to the health facilities commission?

It feels unfair that her career could be affected because those without any medical qualifications are telling nurses how to do their jobs?

This cannot be legal to operate a locked unit in this manner. That same day a patient had a seizure and there is only one vial of Ativan in the entire facility.

Edit: For further clarifying information, the admissions director I spoke of also told her the patient did not require a nurses assessment? He has no qualifications yet is able to make the decision if a nurse should take over care of a patient without a nurses assessment and lock him in the unit with the 26 other patients? And he was attempting to delegate retrieving labs (BAC) from the patient despite having no qualifications. The patient could have also had drugs on him and overdosed in the locked unit with her, which happens frequently even for actual patients who have snuck in contraband. My wife told me she feels the admissions director was afraid they would lose the admission and business of the young man and was upset that she sent him to the emergency room because he could have been admitted there instead. I am an ICU nurse and know very well that alcohol withdrawal can have deadly consequences. I recently sent a 21 year old home on hospice for alcohol related organ failure, believe it or not. I strongly feel this facility needs reported for the way they practice. We became nurses to take care of patients and keep them safe, not make money for a company. She was also only one of 2 nurses in the entire facility at night.

i had one of those shifts today where nothing went catastrophically wrong but the constant mental juggling just drained me completely. i got home and my guitar is sitting there staring at me and i usually love playing to unwind but i just couldn't bring myself to even pick it up.

​i feel like i see all these "healthcare lifestyle" posts where people go to the gym or cook a 5 course meal after a 12 hour shift and it makes me feel like such a lazy bum for just wanting to sit on the couch in silence for three hours.

​is the "post-shift rot" a real thing for you guys too? like you have the physical energy to do stuff but your brain is just at 0% capacity and needs to stay there? i hate feeling like i'm wasting my free time but man some days the couch just wins.

Considering a move from NYC to the Carolina’s. Currently I’m at roughly 115k/year, and cannot keep up with the rising rent costs.. The hope of home ownership is out of reach here. Thinking it may be better down south.

My clinical instructor is really rude and condescending so idk if I should get her a gift or a card. This week is my last clinical shift for the semester. She’s always belittled me. I just don’t know if I should get her a gift and if I don’t, if that would burn a bridge or something because nursing is a pretty small community.

Exec chef in a hospital here and I'm starting to put together my menu for the Nurses week lunch.

What's something you would love to see! appetizers, salads, hot entree, desserts, it's all on the table.

Can anyone share their experience working home health as well as working at a SNF? What your preference is and why. I work at a SNF and want to transition into home health but I’m not sure if it’ll be less stressful. Thank you!

I had a 19 y/o patient who is in psychosis and has pretty severe anxiety. He was originally in special care but was moved up front because we needed more room for other patients. His heart rate has been trending upward and at the beginning of my shift it was 149. I wanted to keep an eye on it so I checked it right before shift change in the morning and it was 170. I asked him if his chest was hurting, if he felt short of breath, and if he felt light headed and he said yes to all of it. I immediately went and told charge and she told me to get a manual pulse on him. I could barely feel it because it was so thready. Then, his nose started gushing blood. I pressed the call light and had my charge nurse come to help me assess him. She ended up having him bear down and that helped to bring it down to around 115ish. I feel so stupid because I feel like all of this could’ve been prevented had I told the charge nurse about the 149 heart rate when I first started the shift. He hasn’t been eating anything for anyone and hasn’t gotten out of bed. He doesn’t make his needs known. He didn’t verbalize any of his symptoms to me. We’re on an inpatient psych unit so we aren’t technically medical like a med-surg floor and his room is far away from the nurses station. My chest hurts and I feel stressed and stupid because I feel as though I could’ve done more and honestly I just feel like a horrible nurse. I recognized the trend but didn’t do anything about it..