r/disabled

I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I've recently become more aware of how much underlying chronic pain I have and it's been getting worse lately. My hips, knees and feet constantly hurt, especially when I walk/stand for a long period of time. Now I don't NEED a cane. I won't fall over without one, and I can walk just fine, but I think having one would reduce some of my joint pain. Could just be my insecurity but is it wrong to use a cane if I don't really need it, it would just help me a lil?

In October 2025 we moved in to an apartment. There are over 160 units in this complex, all divided between buildings with 6-8 units per building, sprawled over a large area, with the roads and sidewalks being on very steep hills.

There is one (1) handicap parking space by my unit, which is next to a ramp, to be shared between 4 buildings, each of which has 8 units. The single space is always filled by an aged military veteran.

I sent a request for additional parking spaces. They closed the request immediately and said it's on their to do list. After 6 months there had been no change so I sent another request. They said they can't add more spaces because they have to be next to ramps. Guess they don't want to add more ramps? I asked for a designated parking space. They said they don't do designated parking but I could submit a reasonable request form.

I got it filled out by my doctor and had my son bring it to the office. They returned it, saying I had to fill out the area in the gray box (which was marked as to be filled out by office staff). I filled out the area with my name and unit, even though it was already on the form, and sent my son back with it. They sent it back AGAIN, saying I had to fill out the *entire* grey box area, again even though it says it's to be filled out by office staff. I had my son make a copy of the form after I filled it out completely, and sent it back a third time.

After several weeks, I had not heard back and called them. They said they never got the form. I tried calling them to talk about it, but it hung up on me every time. Very irritated at this point, I gave the copy to my husband and asked him to bring it and get another copy before they took it.

He gets to the office and asks about it, they said that they DID in fact have it already, and they'd let me know Monday, but that they dont do designated parking spaces and that they have the legally required number of handicapped spaces for the complex. The other space are all 1/4+ mile away in front of other units.

Do I have any recourse here at all?? I feel very much like I am being led around until our lease is up so they can deny a renewal.

I can't stand for more than about a minute without my legs hurting. Does anyone have any tips to make this more manageable? I'm fine with walking btw, it's standing still where I have trouble.

I am getting huge custom braces soon that I will be completely unable to hide and will be in pretty much whenever I'm in public. Because I get enough questions on my crappy little not as noticable as needed ones I want some funny words to talk about them. I also definitely name my medical devices and stuff and it makes me like them more and more confident.

They are plastic and cloth, mostly, both feet but up to the knees, like very tall and obvious, with galaxies on them. Both wrists to the point that I can't really use them a ton and no use of my thumbs (yes we're still doing strengthening blah blah blah not currently looking for any comments on my disabilities etc I am working with specialists). Those ones are just black unless I can figure it out to add patches and then still work on be put on able, and some of the things keeping them on kind of look like the ties for ballet shoes? Trying to give you some ideas to work with.

I personally like cyborg references but they're definitely not metal and I am down for any you can come with! You will not hurt my feelings if anything I will be more comfortable with funny phrases. Not necessarily down for making fun of like my personality or whatever but definitely down to make fun of my body, the braces, the way I walk/move, etc.

Lay it on me! They're not done yet or I'd attach pictures but they were made with full on molds so not a two second process.

I have recently become disabled and will be depending on a wheelchair for anything that requires extended walking or standing. I bought concert tickets before I became disabled to this extent, so they are not wheelchair-accessible seats. I reached out to Ticketmaster to exchange my tickets, but there aren't any accessible seats available (except for obstructed view on the side of the stage). Does anyone have advice on what to do? Would the venue itself have additional accessibility seating? Are there any laws that protect me in this situation?

I would be heartbroken to not attend this concert, but having an almost completely obstructed view doesn't sit right with me, either. I appreciate any suggestions!

So i struggle with balance standing and on bad days walking and i’ve been looking into getting a mobility aid but i don’t know if i should or if i can but i think it would help me a lot since i have chronic fatigue so im like hyper aware of the weigh of all my limbs. If anyone has any tips it would be awesome!

i’m a junior currently. my school year is almost up. because of my disabilities i am unable to drive a car, to get a job, stuff like that

none of my friends live really close, and im pretty sure my bf has a heavy internship during the summer.

i’m worried about hobbies and stuff to do. i can’t really play video games for over 10 minutes before it hurts my eyes. i can’t crochet or knit for about 10 minutes before my hands start to hurt (i have damaged nerves).

see the problem? I’m worried about being bored and having nothing to do. anyone have any tips or hobbies or ideas?

Respite care technically exists in most healthcare systems, but the eligibility thresholds are narrow enough that the caregivers who need it most often don't qualify, and the informal fallback of family rotation is inconsistent enough that no one can actually build a rest schedule around it. So what's left is just... continuing, with no real break in sight. The health research on what that does to a person is pretty clear, sleep disruption, immune suppression, elevated depression risk, all documented, all predictable, all framed by the system as a private family management problem rather than the public health issue the data actually describes. Calling respite a preference when the clinical evidence calls it a necessity isn't just inaccurate, it's what keeps caregivers from asking for help they genuinely need.

I’m a full-time manual wheelchair user. I did a favor for someone and he offered to repay me with free boxing lessons (not the issue).

I told my (able-bodied) friend about that because the mental image of me trying to box in a wheelchair was amusing (I know some people can. I am not one of them). He replied that i should do it “because upper-body exercise is important in a wheelchair and cardio would be good for me” (side note: no, it wouldn’t, exertion exacerbates my pain, but that’s also not the point lol).

I told him that using my manual wheelchair *is* my upper-body workout. He replied “okay, hot wheels 🙄”. I said I didn’t appreciate being called that, he said he would take it back if I could explain **why** (emphasis his).

To me, it seems like calling me hot wheels in a sarcastic/disparaging way is a microaggression and told him as much. He sees it otherwise. Am I being too sensitive?

(Edit: never mind yes it was offensive. I need to stop questioning my feelings and excusing people being dicks to me. I and my mobility aide are not a children’s toy. When i explained how it was hurtful he told me he’s “too autistic to understand.” Which is funny, I’m autistic too but if i unintentionally offend someone i say “im sorry, thank you for letting me know. I’ll be more mindful.”)

im just getting bullied and thrown rotten tomato's at.

I just want help! I got sent to prison from how retarded I am so YES OK? I KNOW! I dont need everyone telling me THAT! I need help getting my rights for being taken to prison! they mistook me for some super big criminal or something.

I dont even want help anymore I dont think ill ever get it. ive given up. no one wants to help someone who cant do EVERYTHING THEYRE ASKING HELP FOR 😒

and they just wana troll or say this didnt happen because they cant believe it because in their world its never happened 😒

then the trolls take over and mods want to shut down my posts. why is disability so taken the piss out of? I know people are so.... FUCK MAN! I just didnt know it was this bad. I been so out of the loop.

stupid internet. stupid disability. stupid me 😭

fuck everything and everyone and especially my dr and the police. idgaf if the mods like it or not. if they dont then fuck them too

So, I am still young but I am way weaker than others ny age and younger. I can barely carry my backpack while others can carry so much more. And I'm not malnourished or anything. I eat enough and healthy food, sleep (i have a really strict sleep schedule) and stay hydrated. I even do some sport, like swimming. But I feel like even walking and carrying myself is heavy. I feel like my bones are so weak. I easily get lightheaded and I always need to sit down or lean against a wall. I also have terrible stamina. And when I do yoga I am so stiff and constantly am off balance. Anyone know what this could be?

Hey so i don’t know what place to put this in really. My mom is 54 turning 55 next July.

She is not “disabled” through the state as I’m pretty sure it’s hard to get.

She isn’t mobile really and needs hip surgery soon but has to lose a couple more pounds.

I don’t really know what to do. I’m moving. And it’s a rough situation so I can’t stay. She will be alone

She still has her job. But she fears that she may lose it soon. I don’t think we are poor enough to qualify for Medicaid and I just turned 18 so she doesn’t have any dependents anymore.

Literally just what are some options😭 everything is so f*cked and I have no clue what I’m doing either

TLDR: I want to help my grandmother experience things she enjoys, but she says its not plausible and talking about it saddens her. I want to help but don't want to make her sad.

I'm a mostly able bodied grandchild.

Context: My grandmother is in her 80s. She's been a widow for 20+ years and has lived alone since my grandfather's death. My grandfather was in the air force so they moved all the time before his passing. After his death she moved back to her home state to be with her sister and extended family and friends. A couple years after I was born, she moved up north to be in the same community as my father to help our family and just be closer.

She has had pets, mostly little yappy dogs lol, but she still lives alone and I know she feels like she is missing out on a lot. My family calls every night to talk to her because we're often too busy to visit in person most evenings. She has friends and goes to community organizations, card groups, craft activities at the senior center, church, etc. I believe she calls her sister almost everyday. She had one of her knees replaced a couple years ago, and it almost made her mobility worse with one leg that well but is now straighter and effectively 'taller' than the other, though she has been pretty adamant about not getting her other knee done. Her back and joint pain has gotten worse. She walks with a cane now. But she hasn't had any bad falls (knock on wood) and still drives herself and takes care of her little dog. All of this to say, she still gets lonely and maintains the vast majority of her independence.

Problem: She misses out of things she wants to do. There are a couple annual trips and events that she used to do for decades with family and friends that involve leaving the state. Her sister only lives 6ish hours from us. Recently, I was talking about how she should go to an event this summer with her sister and friends. But sitting for more than an hour makes her joints stiff and so long drives can be hard. She said she was done flying on planes after decades of doing so in the air force. I've tried to propose solutions, but she has shot them all down. We could see her off at the airport and her sister could pick her up, the flight is only about an hr, she could drive with someone to keep her company and take a break every hour to stretch, and I've insisted that we would care for her dog. At some point when I was talking about it, she said that I don't understand what its like to be old and not have the mobility to do things anymore. It makes her sad, but she just doesn't feel like she can do these things.

Logically, I know I can't truly understand her feelings on the matter. In trying to empathize, I thought she would appreciate the help/support to do things that she wishes to do. I don't really understand why she shoots my ideas down without considering my proposed solutions. Her sister and friends have been encouraging her to go as well. Last year after our annual vacation, she said she wanted to go next time. She has since said she won't come. I know she feels like a burden sometimes, but I don't want that to prevent her from accepting help in enjoying things.

So I'm conflicted about the situation. I want my grandmother to do things she would like to do-especially when I feel there are reasonable solutions, but respecting her wishes without harassing her is most important...I think I'm just asking for some perspective/opinions. It makes me sad to think that she won't get to experience these things that she loved again. I know this is probably more than a little jumbled, sorry about that.

TLDR: I want to help my grandmother experience things she enjoys, but she says its not plausible and talking about it saddens her. I want to help but don't want to make her sad.

So I have a cane since 1 year and an half, cuz my legs doesn't handle well the long walk and standing stuff, I used it only twice because I'm ashamed of people thinking I'm faking cuz it's kind of an invisible disability, I mean it's not obvious because I walk like "normal" people.

I tried to decorate my cane making it more like me but that's not enough I'm still really anxious of going out with my cane.

I wanted to know if you guys have any tips on making myself more comfortable on my outings with my cane?

Alright yall please be kind I'm really self-conscious about this and I'm trying to figure out how to do better. I qualify for some home health assistance and I need the help but I'm having major hangups and Id appreciate insight.

Backgroung: Sometimes I get really anxious and awkward around people when my disabilities require me to seek assistance outside the realm of direct medical care. When I was a kid if I was home when someone my parents hired came over for any kind of work it felt so demeaning to witness them performing labor in my home without actively helping (even if it was something that requires a professional) that I mostly avoided them as much as possible. My parents would also assume they would handle certain tasks for me without bothering to tell me or get my input and it took many years and a family therapist to get my parents to understand that keeping info from me about what they had arranged in my name so I didn't have access to be able to take over my own affairs when I was well into adulthood was hurting me rather than helping me. I moved out and now have more experience arranging services myself but only for essential things non-professionals shouldn't mess with. Its still really hard for me to request any specifics I need for accessibility, and even harder to make myself say the words if my feedback isn't accessibility related but still reasonable and relevant like for example asking them to installing the thing on a different wall. I know many things are impossible to do without hurting myself, and working service industry jobs isn't inherently demeaning, but I still feel like a rich bitch who exploits servants for allowing someone to do my housework under my specific instructions. It would be easier to deal with if it was all hypothetical, but I HAVE had experiences where people flat out said no and refused to accommodate, changed tones and spoke to me harshly after a request , gave me dirty looks, and placating me by agreeing to accommodations when setting up the service only to show up with no effort or intention to follow through with the only thing that made me comfortable hiring them in the first place.

Now, my doctor wants to refer me to home health because it's the only way I'll be able to start a treatment he'd like me to do. I've been unable to convince myself to set it up because I'm so anxious about it. While cleaning isn't the primary thing he wants me to get help with, I will also need help with the cleaning tasks that have been causing big symptom flares. I'm really anxious and I don't want my behavior to indicate that I'm resentful of the aide helping me because I'm uncomfortable accepting this help. I know some people have had bad experiences with aides who resist accommodating a patient's request if it's not required by their employer, and I know they aren't paid nearly enough as it is, so from a labor perspective I absolutely feel they are justified in that. But still, my allergic response to perfume is pretty severe, and apparently many people find the request highly insulting and react with anger, as others with my diagnoses have experienced while struggling to find home health aides willing to not wear perfume. Its this sort of need that people aren't used to being asked to accommodate that I have the hardest time advocating for, even if it's very impactful for me.

To be clear, I AM perfectly content with who I am and I'm not bothered by being disabled or not being able to do these things. I am not seeking reassurance that its inherently OK to receive help, because I know that. (My disability is from birth, so I've never had a "before" to mourn, it's just who I've always been) Its specifically interactions with people while they are doing things, that I experience these anxieties, awkwardness, and avoidance I'm trying to deal with. I also am already receiving mental health care for anxiety and panic disorder. I'm hoping that hearing positive experiences and successful strategies from people who have more experience with these services will give me some practical ideas and perspectives I hadn't considered as I work with my therapist on the generalized anxiety.

Today my wife told me about an episode where she and our 5-year-old son met a blind man on the bus, and our little guy went: "Mom, I think that man is blind!" He kept talking about the blind man, and my wife got more and more embarrassed and tried to get him to stop.

She used the argument: "What if people did it to you? What if they went 'look at that kid; he looks Chinese'? How would you feel about that?" (Our son is half Chinese.) He thought about it and said: "I would be OK with that." I think I would also be OK with it, but I am not the average person.

I would like some opinions from actual people with (visible) disabilities: How do you feel when children talk about you? What would you prefer the parents to do, if anything?

Thanks in advance!

I'm a former nurse with a chronic condition that forced me to stop working two years ago and my LTD insurer has denied every appeal even though my doctors have submitted detailed medical records and functional capacity evaluations. They keep saying the evidence is "insufficient" and the phone reps just read from a script. The stress of fighting this while my savings dwindle is crushing. I'm looking for something that can compile all the medical evidence, reference the exact policy language, submit complete appeal packages, and keep escalating across the insurer and possibly the state insurance commissioner until the claim is approved. Has anyone found a tool that actually breaks through repeated disability claim denials?

This is a total shot in the dark, but is there anyone here who is deaf/hard of hearing who would be willing to spend any amount of time (even if its like 30min per week, or 1hr a month) helping me learn ASL? I work in SPED, and my school has many students who are ASL users. I know some sign, enough to struggle bus through a conversation, but the students deserve better than that. I use all the learning apps etc...but thats not the same as 1-1 learning, and actual conversational practice. However, I cannot afford to take a class at this time, however, I could definitely work out some form of payment, just wouldn't be much unfortunately. I could though offer a skill swap if someone wanted me to help them learn say Braille, or some other skill that I have.

Anyways, again I know this is a shot in the dark and likely no one will be down to do this, but i thought id post in the off chance that someone is interested. So if you are interested, please feel free to comment or send me a message! I really just want to learn more so I can provide better support for students at my school who use ASL, as i also feel that all staff on a campus that has a deaf school, should know at least enough sign to hold a simple conversation.

Hi! So I have this art show that is designed to be very accessible especially for blind and low vision people. Where I live, there is a special Arts access gallery that showcases work of people with disabilities and I think that the work would be great there. But…..

I don’t consider myself disabled. I do have ADHD and dyslexia. But I had a lot of early intense intervention as a child. I went to a lot of different schools in elementary school searching for one that could teach me how to read. And I actually didn’t learn how to read until I was 12. But from then on I went to private schools with great accommodations. I just finished my masters degree and rarely take my ADHD meds.

I think the bottom line is I was able to succeed in an environment that was built for people like me in mind. But I think that’s also true for many if not all disabled people.

I don’t view ADHD and dyslexia as a disability I overcame, rather it’s a part of me. On the other hand, I know that ADHD and dyslexia can be disabling. We also live in an ablest society that I’m sure has informed my perspective.

Anyway long story short is it OK for me to apply as a disabled artist to this gallery?