r/bridesmaids

Is 12 too many for a bridesmaid number? I plan to invite 15 (including bridesmaids) to my bachelorette…is that okay?

EDIT: 4 of which are my siblings LOL my bad. So 8 close friends of mine. The rest are very close with me. Also my sister had 12 bridesmaids (including family and friends) I honestly thought it was a lot but I also am planning on having a very small and intimate wedding which is why I’m having 12 bridesmaids. The weekend will be a short cabin trip! I am really excited because these are all people I love very much that have seen me in different phases of my life.

THE VERDICT: thank you all!

I am reworking how I want to do this…i am going to keep my bff as MOH and my 4 sisters as bridesmaids? And the rest will be included in the bach! I’m having a very small wedding which is why I want to have a big, fun bachelorette party comprised of people I love very much!

Hi Bridesmaids!

I’m curious to hear others people’s opinions on +1s for bridesmaids because I can see reasons for both giving one or not.

For context, I’ve been a bridesmaid 4 times. I only received a +1 once bc I had a boyfriend at the time. The other 3 I’ve been single. I’ve had to travel out of state for every wedding, and 2 of them I didn’t know any other bridesmaid going into the wedding. Just giving these details so it’s more clear where my pov is coming from.

I hadn’t really thought much about the topic until recently hearing a discussion on wedding etiquette, and it showed me different perspectives on the +1 issue.

On one hand, it seems like a fair courtesy to give someone a +1 if they’re traveling out of state and won’t know many people. On the other hand, I can understand couples not wanting a stranger at their wedding.

For me, not getting a +1 is definitely not a dealbreaker to be in a friend’s wedding, but I’m curious to hear about other people’s experiences and expectations.

So I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a good friend's wedding about 8 months ago. At that time, they were only together for 6 months, so the whole wedding process has been kind of rushed, which I want to understand. At the time she asked me, she told me my boyfriend would not be invited to the ceremony and dinner, but he could come to drink and party for that part of the wedding. The reason being that she wanted to keep the ceremony and dinner as small as possible. She told me I was the only bridesmaid in the wedding with a SO, so I accepted it. But, I met all the bridesmaids at the bridal shower a month or so ago, and one is actually engaged. Fast forward to now, the wedding is this Saturday, and I just found out that the other bridesmaid's fiancé is in-fact invited. To be honest, I’m really hurt. Just because my boyfriend and I aren't engaged, that means he doesn't get to come? What's more frustrating is that I've been with my boyfriend longer than the bride and groom have been together, and I just feel like she is saying my relationship is not important just because we haven't decided to get married soon. I’m obviously finding this out days before the wedding, so I’m not going to say anything because I know the bride is already stressed. Any advice or just kind words would be appreciated. I've spent so much money and time on her wedding at a time in my life where I didn't have much of either so I’m just really disappointed :(

I’ve been bogged down with work the past month and completely let gifts fall off the radar for my bridesmaids. Any recs for cool girls that aren’t things they will throw away. Want something thoughtful and personal but my wedding is in 2.5 weeks so I don’t have a ton of time to work with. 5 girls total, budget is about $200 per person, but also is that even enough? Could go up if it’s tough to find anything on that range.

Go by the sizing chart NOT your normal size!! I wish I could scream this from the mountain.

Multiple friends told me to go by my normal size rather than the size chart. I followed my heart and went with the size chart on Azazie & I’m so glad I did.

I’m normally a 4/6 for regular clothes but for Azazie I’m an 8/10!!

PLEASE use the size chart & do the $10 try on!

Edited: If the dress is flowy, go by the WAIST chart because the dress flows out.

So I have a two friends that got engaged over the past year one of their weddings is in November the other is next July.

Both had mentioned to me that they were thinking of me as a bridesmaids. (Separately) I told them both I would love to support them in whatever they needed just not necessarily be a bridesmaids I haven’t had a good experience yet (every wedding I’ve been too I’ve been in and barely speak to any of them now)

Fast forward. Bride 1 text me saying she knows I don’t want to and she doesn’t want to force me into it but I’m one of the closer friends she has and talks to me about the same if not more than her siblings. When I tell you I absolutely adore Bride 1 I’d ride at dawn for her. I originally still passed. And she accepted but I discussed it with my husband and bestfriend and talked about how I actually don’t think this friendship would end. And ultimately told her yes and now I’m literally so excited to be here!

Bride 2 finds this out and asks me quite literally two days later. We never had a conversation like bride 1 and I did. Just more so “I heard you were going to be a bridesmaid in her wedding “ and asked.
Bride 2 and I don’t talk often. It’s more in a group setting. Solo hangouts are even more rare and more awkward. And I just feel like I got pressured into saying yes. For this one and lack of empathy and understanding. Also her wedding isn’t until July next year and one of her MOH has already rubbed me the wrong way twice. Once assuming I’d be okay booking a house that required 25+ since I’m the only one. And being argumentative in a group chat with 8 other people. And another was at a mini meet up acting as if being the childhood friend made her better than everybody else.
I just have more of dread for Bride 2s wedding than excitement because she’s also trying to plan a Bach trip for $3000 pp and I told her I could not do that and she tried to make me feel shitty for not letting her have her dream wedding. Also I just feel like she asked way too early.

Basically I’m trying to figure out if I should say something about not wanting to be in bride 2s wedding while still being in bride 1s. We all used to work with each other and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

I waited until the last minute to get something for my friend’s bridal shower Sunday, and now can’t order many of the registry items because of shipping time. I bought a cooler off their list that I’ll be bringing but wanted to get more, any suggestions? I’m not sure the exact bridal shower etiquette for gifts.

The last few items on the list are towels, and a few more kitchen items.

I’ve never been a bridesmaid and I’ve only attended 1 wedding. I’m not sure how the traditions are currently. My mom says bridesmaids are responsible for coordinating the bachelorette event and other things, but I don’t want to add that stress/pressure to them. I am having a cruise wedding, and they will already be paying for that (although not all the girls will make it).

I did already plan most of the bachelorette trip. I had a lot of in town options, but to my surprise majority voted out of town. So we are renting an Airbnb and going to a natural springs. The theme is mermaids.

I actually haven’t asked anyone to be my MOH. I feel put on the spot and don’t want to favor anyone for the maid of honor position. My mom says I should just get in a group chat and ask who wants to volunteer for the position.

Is this socially acceptable? I’m just so lost and I don’t know a lot of traditional brides. My only friend that is a bride had a backyard wedding with just her family so no bachelorette or bridesmaids.

Few years ago , I joined a new friend group due to moving to a new city. A friend aka the bride ( we got connected through mutual friend ) introduced me to entire group and we instantly clicked. I am single so I have been spending less time with them , as a lot of activities now are focused on things that couples do, however I still see entire group about 1x month or every other month and the bride about 2-3 times a month.

Few month ago, bride casually mentioned that I will be one of the bridesmaids and that we will all stay together during the wedding at big house to get ready etc. I of course got very excited. Fast forward to now - I haven’t heard anything yet - wedding is in early January.

I don’t want to ask the bride or anyone else in the friend group because I don’t want to cause the drama and technically it’s possible that she asked other girls to be bridesmaids and not me. Since I’ve met them through her , I didn’t develop a strong enough friendship with anyone to ask them without it getting to the bride. I had dinner with one of them ( not a bride ) and she causally asked where I was staying to which I said that I didn’t know yet. I am not sure if she was trying to gauge the situation and also wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid or see what I say.

I totally would’ve been fine with not being a bridesmaid and save energy and money, if she didn’t mention it to me, now it just feels odd.

Any advice is appreciated!

I need advice on how to move forward. I’m a bridesmaid in a wedding, but the bride and I honestly haven’t been close friends in a long time. I think I was asked because she doesn’t really have many other close friends, so at this point I’ve mostly just been going through the motions.

This past weekend was her bridal shower. As a side note, I got married last fall, and my husband and I are TTC. When I walked in, the first thing her mom, who I haven’t seen or spoken to in probably 10 years, did was put her hand on my stomach and ask if I was pregnant. No “hi,” no congratulations on getting married, nothing. Just straight to that.

It completely ruined my weekend, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. The bride has no idea it happened. I’m struggling with whether I should say something or just let it go.

Edited:
Separately, the bride herself also has made comments that have sat poorly with me. After her bach weekend, when my husband came to pick me up from the airport, she said “okay now go get pregnant.” She has also made a pattern of smaller comments about my appearance — telling me I shouldn’t highlight my hair anymore, that I should keep my hair short, suggesting I should wear more makeup, and other similar unsolicited remarks about how I look.